How do I convince my mom to exercise and lose weight?

01-29-2012, 03:05 AM

This is kind of long, but please read it.

My mom is 55, 5'2" and over 250 lbs. I'm only 16 and my mom is already 55 and over-weight. I'm afraid of losing her, so I always remind her to start eating healthful foods and leading a healthy lifestyle, but she just won't change. I hear her complain about her back and knees hurting, and I can't help but worry and get depressed that I won't be able to do things with her in a year or two. It's too early for her knees and joints to hurt!

She always has excuses like "I'm too old to lose weight," or "If I lose weight, I'll have extra skin," and "I don't have time; I'm too tired" and it irritates me. I showed her this article on an insanely obese (for her height) woman around 400 lbs. and how she lost weight and became a size 8. I told her that it could be done because the woman was in her 40's when she lost the weight—that my mom could still lose hers, too.

I've tried all tactics into getting her to exercise. I told her the benefits of becoming skinny—both the health benefits and aesthetic benefits—but it doesn't seem to interest her at all. I told her once that she's old already, and I told her that I wanted her to live long; that I wanted her to attend my wedding, and live long enough to see any potential grandchildren... all she did was promise. She never did anything.

Up until now, my brother and I still continue to coax her into exercising: "C'mon, mom. Exercise, please? Even if you just walk around the village for an hour; we'll go with you." And my brother invites my mom to go to the gym with him, but she won't go. She even has a lifetime membership with some slimming world thing, but she won't use it.

I once got annoyed and asked her "With dad gone, what'll happen if you suddenly die?! So, you'd just leave us? Why won't you take care of yourself more? Why won't you put any effort into exercising?"

She replied with "You think I don't know that? That's why I always pray to God that He may let me live long." I'm, like, "Mom! Ever heard of the saying 'God helps those who help themselves'?"

Then I tried telling her "If you don't want to do it for yourself, at least do it for us," but she doesn't show any signs of wanting to exercise. I also told her that, at the very least, she should see a dietitian.

I get so annoyed! I want her to live long, and here she is, wasting all my efforts away! I've been doing this since she was 49, but she's so hard-headed and stubborn and... ugh.

I get so mad and sad and worried and frustrated and lost and I just don't know what to do anymore.

Thanks for reading this super long thing :'D

01-29-2012, 04:07 AM

I am wondering if she is depressed? Maybe she tried dieting once and had no results. The sad thing is many people give up when the weight just doesn't drop off quickly. Or is she on on anti depressants. Is there anyone else outside the family who can you talk to on the quiet and who Mum might listen too? Perhaps they can convince Mum about how concerned you are for her. I wish you luck.

01-29-2012, 04:35 AM

She's not on anti-depressants and, well, she doesn't seem depressed... I think she's just tired and lazy. My aunt, grandma and grandpa are all trying to persuade her, but so far we've had no luck. We have an elliptical machine at home, and we a have a dog she loves dearly, but she's afraid big dogs might bite him, so she doesn't want to walk him around. She likes eating, but she eats healthy to me: fish, vegetables, fruits, grain (oatmeal & cereal), and an occasional dark chocolate or two.

To me, she just lacks exercise and a more balanced diet, but I want to do everything to help her.

02-19-2012, 05:05 PM

why do you need to convince her of anything at all?

she is a grown woman and she definitly doesn't need you to harass her or force your ideas of right and wrong on her. just love her regardless of her size. she might even think your more concerned about her weight then about her. just accept her as she is, just because her knees bother her doens't necessarily mean it is the weight after all I am very obese, workout alot and yet my knees don't bother me hardly ever.

my friend who is not overweight in the least complains about her knee. you could if you think she will be willing to listen tell her about articles on the net like have her visit stephanies seneffs blog which talks about an alternative view of obesity (it being a symptom not a cause and overeating being a symptom of a physical problem and not a cause)

maybe just concentrate on setting the example of eating well yourself. examples speak alot louder and are more convincing then words. remember she is under no obligation to listen to you. she is your mother not the other way around. okay?

dreamer

02-20-2012, 08:52 AM

I was age 55, 5'2" and over 250 pounds too. Now I'm 60 and down to 200pounds and hope to go down further.

But it took my kids growing up and getting out of my house to let me have some time to myself so I could put me first for once. When you are raising kids, you always put them first...losing weight means changing that so you are first....very hard for any mom.

So from what I've experienced, the best thing YOU can do is to leave her alone and take as good care of yourself as possible and stop treating her like she's your kid. No one likes to be treated that way...she knows she's overweight. But only she can change it and you're nagging her will only make her feel more guilty...not better about herself. She will do it when she has the desire to do it and not a moment sooner.

Your mom had you at age 39 and I can tell you, NO ONE has the energy to deal with a teenager at 55 so the more you are responsible and taking care of you and your life, the less she will have to do. Just thinking of having a child in their teens at 55 makes me feel tired. You can give her energy by being the very best 16 year old you can be.

She will decide what to do and when and if when she does decide to take care of herself, then find her a "weight loss buddy" her own age to support her. She needs someone her age who knows what it is like....not an energetic 16 year old.

Stop berating her to lose...you'll just make her gain more. You can't make a smoker quit...they have to make the decision and losing weight is 10 times harder.

Jenny

02-23-2012, 03:35 AM

your worry is right and its very necessary for your mother to lose weight,because over weight gives birth to many kind of diseases such hearth disease,diabetes or even the cancer, so you are the only hope who can make your mother convince for the exercise because its really very difficult for any women of this age to start the weight losing program .

02-23-2012, 05:32 PM

Hey Jenny

Do you think it is easier to give up smoking than putting on weight? I had to have about 5 goes at giving up smoking. The champix works well. Losing weight, I am managing that more easily but I think it is because of the lexapro I was on. I am watching what I eat and exercising but even after 5 months of not smoking there are times when I would really love one. Just too scared to risk it again. I tried scrapbooking and cardmaking to get over the smokes as I couldn't smoke and do that and thought the cards would smell smoky. It might be something people coulod try with weight too as if you eat while making cards , you'd get them stained. Just a thought. Macrame is another option, it is probably out of date but those macrame potato bags would be good to put aside as christmas gifts

03-21-2012, 01:06 PM

I can relate to you! I'm in the same boat. My mom had a heart attack 2 years ago and even after the heart attack she did not make any significant changes in her diet or exercise. She thinks that because she has stents that she's all good. I'd remind her constantly and now after a year or so of trying to educate her on food and exercise, I realized that by nagging her was making her feel more guilty or upset. Of course she won't show that she's upset, but now that I've been working out and eating healthy, she's making better choices. And instead of me asking her to go walking, I don't even go there. I just let her make the choice. I think she's realizing now that if she doesn't do something, she could have another heart attack. She's still young too. So, my advice, focus on yourself and eat healthy. Make your choices for you and maybe eventually she will come around. Motivating others is hard, but remember she is an adult. She can make her own decisions. I know how hard it is and I know how you feel. I was at the point of how aggravating it was and I'd stress myself out over it and I'd get incredibly annoyed with her and say what I thought. Now, I just bite my tongue. I love working out and wish I had someone else to do it with, but for now I just do my workouts for me and if she is on board, it makes me feel good. I just pray she keeps it up. Good luck to you!!

How do I convince my mom to exercise and lose weight?

Sign Up Today!

Join Our Newsletter

Whoops,

Thank You