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  • Becoming Pregnant out of spite

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    Old 02-08-2006, 01:48 AM   #16
    monim361
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    Re: Becoming Pregnant out of spite

    [QUOTE=mable]sounds like hes trying to have his cake and eat it too. any guy who bounces between 2 women like that isnt worth your time. QUOTE]

    I agree !!
    Was in a similar situation. I Have a 5 month old now. And the other girl well she is 5 months pregnant. Funny thing is She just left him too. So now he has neither one of us and is pretty pathetic..He cries on the phone begging her to come home. Shows up at my house wanting to see my baby. But he is a little looney and abusive so thats a whole other story. Anyway no such thing as "having to be with someone because of obligations" Move on. You will be much happier!
    Monica

     
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    Old 02-08-2006, 05:43 AM   #17
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    Re: Becoming Pregnant out of spite

    Barton93,
    I understand what you mean but the Man told his ex before me that he could not Father Children.He has been with other Women besides the ex,me and now this one and they didn't get Pregnant either.As for him being with her because of obligation sure he had a choice HOWEVER there are things about the obligation(Familial wise)I do not wish to disclose..it is a very complicated and painful matter..he has been in touch with me the entire time he has been with her..he called me New Years but he is trying to pull the wool over my eyes?!?!He told me he loves me and not all that long ago..The Man is in a situation he feels he can not get out of..

    Last edited by Lotus_Blossom; 02-08-2006 at 05:44 AM.

     
    Old 02-08-2006, 06:20 AM   #18
    Faythey
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    Re: Becoming Pregnant out of spite

    Obviously, without the details, its hard to give good advice. But if he really can't get out of his current relationship with the other women, I would suggest that you find someone else for your time. It's not worth it for you to hang around and wait for him.

    However, if he really can get out of it, then he needs to make a decision. It's not fair to you or the other woman for him to lead you both on like this. The other posters are quite right. Move on and you'll be much happier.

     
    Old 02-08-2006, 07:02 AM   #19
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    Re: Becoming Pregnant out of spite

    Lotus, if you give us all the details, (the ones which you don't want to disclose), we will be in a better position to comment/help on your situation. You're anonomous, we don't know who you are.....why don't you just tell the whole story?

     
    Old 02-08-2006, 07:34 AM   #20
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    Re: Becoming Pregnant out of spite

    Like I said in my response to your other post about faking pregnancy--If I only had a dollar for every time someone said "Don't worry, I'm infertile." Especially men...

    How do you know his previous partners didn't use protection that even he didn't know about? Maybe YOU'RE the one with fertility problems since he was with you for 3 years and didn't get you pregnant. Don't be so quick to point the finger at everyone else.

    If he wanted to be with you, he would be with you. He is playing on your emotions and you are letting him. He's just trying to have you as a little something on the side and is saying what you want to hear to get it. A good, worthwhile man wouldn't be going around impregnating other women if they really wanted to be with you, and then saying "Poor me...whatever shall I do..." Don't play his game with him.

     
    Old 02-08-2006, 09:25 PM   #21
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    Re: Becoming Pregnant out of spite

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Lotus_Blossom
    Barton93,
    I understand what you mean but the Man told his ex before me that he could not Father Children.He has been with other Women besides the ex,me and now this one and they didn't get Pregnant either.As for him being with her because of obligation sure he had a choice HOWEVER there are things about the obligation(Familial wise)I do not wish to disclose..it is a very complicated and painful matter..he has been in touch with me the entire time he has been with her..he called me New Years but he is trying to pull the wool over my eyes?!?!He told me he loves me and not all that long ago..The Man is in a situation he feels he can not get out of..
    Ok.....once again, just because no one has gotten pregnant before this one doesn't make him infertile. It sounds like he is thinking that because it never happened before. Or maybe he is a creep and tells women that in hopes of getting what he wants!!! As for obligation.........in my opinion, no such thing! Like I said before, I've been married for 12 years. I have 2 children, 12 years worth of financial ties to my husband......but in my opinion that is not the obligation that keeps my marriage together. My marriage exists because there is love and passion. You say he has been in touch with you the entire time he's been with this girl, he calls you all of the time, so on and so forth. That tells me that he wants to have his cake and eat it too!!! It should tell you the same thing!!! Do yourself a favor and drop this guy. Move on to better things. You will find yourself much happier.

     
    Old 02-09-2006, 04:01 AM   #22
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    Re: Becoming Pregnant out of spite

    Barton,
    Like I have mentioned in previous postings he was with his ex before me 3 to 5 years..he told her he could not Father Children because of Chemical exposure..there were no Contraceptives used period during their relationship..they not having Children,the length of time they were together and from exposure should be proof enough he is Infertile.Remember we know this Man very well as we are the ones that spent time with him..the obligation(s) you have to your Husband is not the same obligation he has..there are so many things I have not disclosed about him,us or the situation simply because it is very painful..he contacts me because I'm the Woman he wishes to be with..I'm the Woman he loves he just can't be with me due to Familial reasons..

     
    Old 02-09-2006, 06:32 AM   #23
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    Re: Becoming Pregnant out of spite

    whether he wants to be with you or not, the fact is that he hasnt left her. I think you need to move on unless he's willing to become serious with you. You are the one that is going to be hurt from all of this.

    I dont know a lot about infertility, but I've heard of weird accidents where seemingly infertile people get pregnant, or get someone else pregnant. Assuming he really is infertile from the chemical exposure, it could have still happened. However, there is nothing that obligates 1 person to another against their will. Don't assume that he is completely infertile because of the lack of children in his previous relationships. That could mean so many things. Go over to the TTC (trying to conceive) boards and you'll see how difficult it can be for the healthiest of people.

     
    Old 02-09-2006, 09:57 AM   #24
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    Re: Becoming Pregnant out of spite

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Lotus_Blossom
    Barton,
    he contacts me because I'm the Woman he wishes to be with..I'm the Woman he loves he just can't be with me due to Familial reasons..
    so that's what he's telling you? Wanting to be with you and making it happen are two different things......what is he doing, just "wishing" things will change?
    what familial reasons are we talking about? My opinion......he's stringing you along.

     
    Old 02-09-2006, 10:48 AM   #25
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    Re: Becoming Pregnant out of spite

    That's what he tells me because it is what he feels..you can't just wish away feelings you have for someone at lib..forgetting about someone you love and want to be with doesn't leave automatically..if ya'll must know why we can't be together his Sister hates me because I'm white and forbids him to be with me..she and her Husband paid over $100,000 so he could attend a University Overseas and she demands him to be with this Gal as a means to be repaid what she is out on him..his Brother in law told me if they had known about me I would have been their first selection..her Husband didn't even know about me for over 3 years because she hid me from me..I'm not what she wanted..he comes from a totally different Culture than we do..where he is from the Sisters,Aunts and Female Relatives are possessive,dominating and controlling over their Brothers and what they say goes regardless what the person wants..Family obligation comes before your own desires..now that his Sister has helped him he has to go to her for advice and such..she thinks she is the keeper of his life..sure he could tell her to go get f'ed but it would only create more problem..he owes her alot but there is nothing he can do other than what she asks of him..ya'll can sit there behind your Computers and say no one is obligated to do anything or throw he is stringing you along blah blah blah all you want but I was with this Man I'm the one who knows him and I know that Culture very well..I'm well aware what was done to us and there is nothing we can do..I have never felt so helpless in my entire life..the pain and heartache we have faced I do not wish on anyone..am I resentful,hate,spiteful that she is with him and I'm not?No not at all but I know what that Gal is up to and I also know he had Fertility issues while with every other Woman besides me..I also know that his Sister will face her judgement for what she has done..do you honestly not think it is not hard for him to stay in touch with me and know he can't be with me?He calls me up ever so often and don't talk he just holds the line just to hear my voice..he has done that at least 50 times..It has been very tearing for the both of us..

     
    Old 02-09-2006, 10:58 AM   #26
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    Re: Becoming Pregnant out of spite

    Lotus - This sounds more complicated as you tell us more. Do you really want to subject yourself to this? His sister is manipulating him and controlling him, although I don't absolve him of any responsibility. Could it be he is going along with the program and using his sister as his excuse......this way she's the bad guy? His sister couldn't have forced him to have sex or a relationship with this woman, against his will, could she?

     
    Old 02-09-2006, 10:58 AM   #27
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    Re: Becoming Pregnant out of spite

    Faythey,
    He can't leave her at least not until he feels he has repaid his Sister..IF and that is the biggest word in the Dictionary she is Pregnant it is spite cos she found out he was still contacting me..she sees me as the enemy even though she doesn't give a care about him..all she is in it for is the money..if he were to leave her the money would be cut off..they are out a small fortune on her..money is the only reason she is with him..the first time she met him she turned to a Relative of his and said ewww I don't want him..it's nothing but a big joke..all I have to say is IF she is Pregnant it is for the wrong reasons and it will only create more problems for him..we can only live a lie so long..

     
    Old 02-09-2006, 11:00 AM   #28
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    Re: Becoming Pregnant out of spite

    so Lotus - does your man have sex with this woman?
    are you saying she is pregnant from SOMEONE ELSE and trying to pin it on your boyfriend, or are you saying she has sex with him.

     
    Old 02-09-2006, 11:01 AM   #29
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    Re: Becoming Pregnant out of spite

    Rosequartz,
    It is very complicated..I backed away..I'm not the one contacting him..no he is not using her as an excuse what I have stated in my previous posting is the factual truth..he had no other choice..his say and what he wanted was not allowed..

     
    Old 02-09-2006, 11:04 AM   #30
    summertyme
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    Re: Becoming Pregnant out of spite

    There's way too many people involved in his business--he's not in a healthy "place" in his life. A grown up man will not allow someone else to pay for his education, but will live his own life on his own terms and not allow someone to pull his strings like this. He doesn't sound like that great a catch to me and it's probably better for you if you move on and don't play his game--and the games of his family. Do you really want a life playing mind games with the in-laws? If he's not willing to stand up to his family, he's not good relationship material.

    You're probably not a psychic and really don't know what his previous girlfriends might or might not have used for contraception, so don't act like you're omniscient. My husband is very fertile, was with other women before me, and never got any of them pregnant either.

     
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