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Guess I am just looking for some advice, or understanding???

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Old 11-17-2008, 09:05 AM   #1
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Unhappy Guess I am just looking for some advice, or understanding???

Ok, here's the situation. I just had a baby girl, our second daughter. She will be 2 months old on Friday. I got pregnant with her when our first daughter was only six months old. Needless to say, although it was unexpected, I was thrilled. Now, don't laugh at me, or think I am crazy or whatever, although I am sure you will..... I am worried that I am pregnant again. I don't know for sure. I am too afraid to take a test which I know is completely stupid because it's the only way I will know for sure. But I just can't bring myself to do it! I was breastfeeding but I stopped at about 5 1/2 weeks or so. DH and I did not have sex at all before my six week check up...I made sure to follow the rules. But the day after my appointment we did. I am not currently on birth control because due to migraines, my OB decided that I would not be a good candidate for them. And of course I know there are condoms, but without getting into detail, my husband takes a few medications that sometimes make things a little difficult to begin with and if he uses a condom, it pretty much just makes things not work at all if you get my point. So, I know we should be using them, but we didn't. Honestly, after just having a baby I could've cared less about having sex at all, but he was really missing it and I felt bad. STUPID! So anyway, I don't know why but I now have myself convinced that I am pregnant again. I don't know if I am just scared because we didn't use anything, or my mind is just playing tricks on me. I haven't had a period yet, but I know that could be normal too. However, my lower back has been killing me, and I keep getting twinges and little cramps and things. I've also been super bloated and gassy (sorry, I know that is gross) Now I know this could all just be coincidence, but I am afraid that it might not be. I haven't told anyone yet, besides DH and my mom. DH said he'd be shocked if I was, but I think he just likes to try and live in denial that it's possible. My mom has a great sense of humor about it, which makes me feel better. I can't say that I would be upset if I were, but financially I just don't know how we'd handle it. And on top of that, if I am, I am so afraid to tell anyone else. His parents would probably be super mad, my dad as well. And I can't imagine having to go back from maternity leave only to tell my boss that I am pregnant again. She wasn't all that supportive after it happened the last time. I think that is why I keep putting off taking a test, because I know that once I know, I will have to tell others. I don't even really know where I am going with this. I guess I am just nervous and worried, and on top of that scared that if I am that something will be wrong because I've gotten pregnant so many times so close together. My first daughter was born with two holes in her heart, and my second daughter was pretty small at birth due to a single umbilical artery, and I am just scared that if I am pregnant it will turn out badly or something will be wrong with the baby. I could be worrying for nothing, but I just have this feeling somewhere inside that I am. I guess I am just looking for some words of advice, or a positive side or something?????
~Ella Ann, July 2, 2007~
~Madilyn Mya, September 21, 2008~

Last edited by Delia79; 11-17-2008 at 09:08 AM.

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Old 11-17-2008, 01:10 PM   #2
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Re: Guess I am just looking for some advice, or understanding???

Hi Delia,

Wow, I can't even imagine! I haven't even had #2 yet, and I am already thinking that I can't imagine having another anytime in the very near future (although we will have another one, but not too soon). And ours will be 21 months apart!

I don't have much advice for you, but I do think you would just KNOW if you were pregnant. I know when we were trying for #2, every month I would think that I was, because I might've been slightly more bloated than normal, or had a sore back, or maybe a couple other little symptoms. But when I actually did get pregnant, I just knew that I was for about a week before the bfp. Of course I still couldn't believe the hpt when it came out postitive, but I really did know in my heart. So try to keep that in mind... If there's any doubt in your heart that you're pregnant again, then you're probably not. Especially since you've recently had 2, and you know every symptom in the book, and probably remember very clearly what the early days feel like .

Also, since you just had sex 2 or 3 weeks ago now, a test might not come back accurate, if you were indeed pregnant. If you still don't have a period in a week or 10 days or so, I would take one to ease my mind. You might still wonder that it's too early if you got a bfn right now.

If you are though, just try to think about how much love would be in your home!! And maybe you'd get a boy this time! I know it'd probably be completely overwhelming to find out about a new baby, when you already HAVE a new baby, but by the time the NEW, new baby would be born, dd #2 would be almost 1, right? And at that age, I think your girls will really be into playing with eachother, and bringing home a third might not be even as much work as bringing home the second...? Just trying to shed some positive light, JUST in case! I'm sure you and dh would be able to handle everything (from financial, to dealing with your boss, and people who might not be thrilled--although who are they to make a person feel bad about having a baby, really?), even though it might seem impossible at first. Everything would work out.

Definitely let us know how it goes though! Although if I see you back on the pregnancy boards, I guess I'll know.... Good luck, sweetie!

Married my best friend - July 06'
Mommy to Liam Carter - May 07'
Lost our little angel - m/c January 08'
Our newest bundle, Brody Anderson! - February 09'

Old 11-17-2008, 01:12 PM   #3
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Re: Guess I am just looking for some advice, or understanding???

First off, I can totally understand why you would be scared and freaked out, I think I would be also. However, first things first... you need to take a pregnancy test or call your dr. There is no point in worring over nothing. So you need to find out whats going on. Second, if you are pregnant again, then do not worry about what anyone else thinks. This is a private matter between you and your husband. No one else matters except for you 2 and your kids. If his parents dont like, tell them to take a flying leap. Now, your husband thinks that your not (well mine didnt either and I'm going to pop any day now), but you need to find out how he will feel if you are. He will probably encourage you to take a test or call the dr also. Be each others support. Find out whats going on, and let us know!
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Old 11-17-2008, 01:20 PM   #4
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Re: Guess I am just looking for some advice, or understanding???

Hey Delia!

Yikes, I can imagine how scared you are, but I also agree with fruitloop- its between yoru family and anybody who doesn't like it, too bad for them! Your babies are so loved and very lucky to be in a home with love and support!

Also, however, until you take a test I wouldn't worry too terribly much. After I had Ella (probably about 3 months after) I was CONVINCED I was pregnant again. I had also not used a condom and wasn't back on birth control due to some complications I was having. Anyway- long story short, my body and mind just convinced me I was pregnant, I had every sign in the book and, like you, was scared to test. Eventually I did and it was negative (actually I tested about every 4 or 5 days until I got my period 3-4weeks later, I just wasn't convinced with the negative test until I started). So, there's always a chance that you're not and your body just goes into "baby" mode when you think you are.

Good luck with whatever the outcome and keep us posted! Also, as far as the baby's concerned, even though your others had some difficulties this one could have nothing. I think it's all out of your hands and that there was nothing you could have done (or done differently) to have prevented those issues with your girls. You're a great mom and if you are having another one then I, for one, will be very excited for you!

Good luck

Old 11-17-2008, 06:43 PM   #5
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Re: Guess I am just looking for some advice, or understanding???

Hi Delia ~ The great thing about these boards is that no one judges and I for one certainly would never judge you. You have been a wonderful "cyber" friend to me and I love swapping advice with you and the other women on these boards.

I say pray and pray and pray until you can't pray anymore...for whatever outcome you desire. I really do believe that "the Man upstairs" has a reason for lame as that may sound sometimes. But, like the previous posters suggested, you'll have to take that dreaded test to find out.

Should you take the test and it's negative, then maybe it's time for other measures of birth control. Have you considered being fitted for a diaphram? Also, the Nuva Ring has a REALLY low dosage of hormones that supposedly don't travel throughout the whole body...some more research would have to be done of course.

Whatever happens, I'll support you!

Old 11-18-2008, 04:58 PM   #6
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Re: Guess I am just looking for some advice, or understanding???

Delia I understand how you feel about being scared and all. I had a spell where I couldn't do anything but cry because we would like one more but I had convinced myself I need to have my tubes tied because my first had the hole in his heart and my second with the SUA I am terrified that something really horrible would be wrong if I had another one. You said you was afraid of this becasue you got pg so close togethere but I don't think that had anything to do with it mine is 8.5years apart and I had the same problems you did.I just wanted to wish you luck and I hope you get what you truelly want but I completely understand what you are feeling.
me 30/DH3/
5/21/00........CODY MICHAEL
TTC 2nd 10/00
our angel 2/16/05
10/16/08..... AVA GRACE
Maybe TTC #3 if it's ment to be ok if not ok not stressing this time. :-)

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