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Posted by Rick H. on November 04, 2000 at 15:51:29:

In Reply to: Daughter of Cancer Victim, Can anyone help me? posted by Kerry on November 02, 2000 at 23:11:51:

: I'm 18 and a freshman in college. My dad died of cancer when I was 10. I've been thinking about him a lot lately and have been feeling depressed. It's been 8 years, but I'm still not over his death. I get very sad because I can't even remember what he looks like anymore except for pictures, but there aren't many. My mom has now gotten remarried to a nice man, but he's nothing like my father. I feel like I don't fit in anywhere. Can anyone help me?

Yes, I think that I may be able to help. I lost my mother to cancer 26 years ago, when I was 24 years old. I had six brothers and sisters, all younger than myself, to be left behind without their mother. My youngest sibling (sister) was 12 years old. It was devastating for everyone. I'm still deeply hurt, as is all of my family. Throughout my life this has left a terrible scar on me, so that health becomes a critical issue for me. You'll see me post from time to time, on these message boards, trying to help people keep themselves healthy by preventative means.

I watched my mother be sick for about a year and a half on chemotherapy and radiation. She was diagnosed with liver cancer and was told that she had 2 weeks to live, before given treatment options (this was in 1972 or 1973). With her husband and seven children (myself being the oldest), she hung on. We had to watch her suffer greatly. It would have been better if she died quickly, but with bottles of Maalox she endured. She was the shining star of our family, the best that you would expect from anyone.

When she died, and we went to the burial site; the long line of cars in the funeral procession stretched literally for miles. She was well-liked by so many people. My mother was only 47 years old when she died. I only regreted two things when she died; that I didn't say goodbye and I didn't say how much I loved her. While she was dying, we didn't want to acknowledge that she wasn't going to be with us much longer.

As a Christian, I believe she is still very much alive, so that is some consolation. But we all miss her very much.

So, in her memory, I have explored many health issues including cancer. I have found that there is significant research that indicates that cancer, (as well as many other diseases) are highly preventative. I don't know why this is not a center stage of discussion by most people. Why do we allow our bodies to be so poisoned by so many bad conditions, so that we get cancer?

I used to be greatly sick near the point of wanting to die many years ago, and now today, I run like the wind over 19 miles a week, at 50 years of age. I cured myself through dietary changes, removal of toxins, and herbal therapy. (My doctors could not help, despite repeated visits.) I also had skin cancer for about 20 years and didn't know about it, until I went to the doctor for a checkup on some other issues. If my immune system didn't contain the cancer, I also would have been "history", at an early age.

You are not alone. It is estimated that one out of three Americans will get cancer in their lifetime. It is an epidemic that is getting out of control. When is this trend going to stop? It appears to be getting worse, despite all the research. Research in curing cancer is great, but where's the "larger" message that all of this can be prevented?

So for you, in your father's memory, try to find out what causes cancer, and encourage people to take better care of themselves in the meantime, including yourself. Read what I have posted previously on cancer prevention and explore this more deeply. We can make a difference. We can help other children not lose their mothers and fathers at so young of an age with this deadly disease of cancer.

I hope that this helps you, as it has helped me throughout the years. May God bless you and may your Father's spirit of love live in you forever.

Rick H.

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