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Re: How do I tell my mother she is dying?

Re: How do I tell my mother she is dying?

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Posted by Tina Ellenburg LVN on December 05, 1999 at 12:08:32:

In Reply to: How do I tell my mother she is dying? posted by Janet on September 29, 1999 at 21:24:53:

I am a charge nurse in a nursing home and have been for 5 1/2 years now. I was educated at Amarillo College School of Vocational Nursing in Amarillo, Texas and graduated in 1994.
There is no easy way to tell someone you love that they are dying. Your mother sounds like she is in denial and may already know she is dying but just can't accept it yet---this is a normal human response.
If it were me I would gather my family and speak to them about how to approach the problem and speak to her doctor as a group. Then come to a group decision and follow thru.
I had to tell my Grandmother who I cared for until her death, before I was a nurse. It wasn't easy and my Mom couldn't be here with me to tell her so it was on my shoulders to figure out the right thing to do. She never fully accepted it but with the help of hospice I kept her home and made her as comfortable as possible and pain free until her time.
Hospice is a great benefit whether at home or in a nursing facility or the hospital. Without their help and support I don't know how I would have made it thru it. And this is why I am a nurse today.
Educate yourself on her disease process as best you can and do whatever it takes to make her last days a quality time, quantity isn't important, quality and dignity are.
My heart and best wishes are with you. Take care.

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