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Nosey Neighbor

Nosey Neighbor

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Posted by LaVerne on June 10, 2000 at 04:54:06:

I have been the cregiver for my mother for the past four years. she suffers from dementia and goes to day care doing the day while I work as a real estate broker. Six months ago a woman both the home next door to me on the othr side of the hedge , the same side where my mother's room is located. My mom suffers from incontinence, has no short term memory and often have night mares at night. There has been a few times that after cleaning up after her more than once in the morning I have raised my voice out of pure frustration and used words like "dam,mom..shit, etc." Never was these words totally directed to my Mom, but was uttered in frustration of the situation. My neighbor has m,ade complaints to the Adult Protective Services anonymously and in one occasion taped conversation and turned the tape over to the APS. Is this legal? She claims that I am psycologically abusive to my mother, which is not the case. This incident has been taken out of context with no knowledge of what went on prior. I have now have to attend a meeting next wek to explain this situation. To make matters worst, I recently became the temporary forster parent of my grandson. After taking care of him for a week, CPS decided to take him away because of this APS allegation. All the workers at the Day Care as well as my family members (siblings) know that if it wasn't for my good care of my mother who is now 85, she would not be alive today. They all have remarked how nice she looks because I dress her beautifully and put full make up on here daily as well as style her hair. She has never been in the hospital for four years and take no medication except for vitamins, ginko, and St. John's Wort. It is very frustrating to have a nosey neighbor make a complaint that I feel is not substatiated but yet the system makes you go through a lot of sh-- because of the laws. Do any of you know what my legal ramifications could be? I have presently also hired an attorney to reprsent my son, the father of the child, because he and his girlfriend do want my husband and I to have custody of my grandson until they can get their act together. Because of this complaint concerning my mom by the neighbor, blames me now that my grandson was taken away until we can clear this up. I have never been abusive to my mom in any way and everyone who knows me aas well as those who work with her at the daycare realizes this. I really don't know this woman's motivation as I have never talked to her, and being so busy with my work and my community volunteer work, I don't recall even seeing this woman. She also called us about our dog who at times barked at night and so we have a $100 collar on the dog that shocks him everytime he barks. In addition, one evening when I was babysitting my grandson, he threw a tantrum and was crying. I let him cry it out and she called accusing me of tormenting my grandson which was not the case because she heard him crying. I basically explained the situation to her, told her also that she should probably mind her own business and if she has a problem, she is welcomed to walk over to my home and check out the situation herself. I would welcome that. Anyway, have any of you caregivers out there have had similar experiences? I would like to hear your feedback. I know that my outburst, may appear to be wrong when taken in isolation , but is a very human response of a care giver who is seeing her mother go downhill. Right? I'll be waiting to hear from you.

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