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Re: Caregiving-where do you draw the line???

Re: Caregiving-where do you draw the line???

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Posted by Bill on August 17, 2000 at 15:11:55:

In Reply to: Re: Caregiving-where do you draw the line??? posted by Carol A on June 06, 2000 at 00:58:34:

: Hi,
: It may be that your mom is angry at the loss of control and her husband more than at you.
: I am just asking:
: Did you ever ask her what she wanted?
: If she has really been a part of every decision, then you may have to tell her that you are going to have to find a home for her if you can't get along, and that you all need to do better for it to work.
: Give her a chance to express her grief at having to live in a way she clearly doesn't want.
: The problem with councelors sometimes is legally they are only allowed to offer practical solutions. They cannot offer real mental help. I think your mom has a lot of baggage, and likely so do you. Most of us have authority (control) issues, for instance that interfere with family cohesiveness.
: Let us know how you are!

Hello, When my great aunt had to leave her home after a couple of falls and medical problems my aunt who was closest and had the time was the one who made the arrangements. She was also the one who had to try to convince my great aunt that it was best. Finally they just moved her from a temporary rehab place to a semi-independent facility. I don't think my great aunt was ever nice to my aunt again. My Great aunt was always nice and cheerful to everyone else. She clearly resented being told what to do. She couldn't really argue about it so she struck out the only way she had left. There may be no solution since her opposition to a care facility was completely illogical.
When my wife became disabled at a young age, 33yrs., she gave me the same kind of grief for a while but this faded away with time as we both accepted a truce with the reality of disability.

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