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Re: Nosey Neighbor

Re: Nosey Neighbor

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Posted by Bill on August 30, 2000 at 09:43:31:

In Reply to: Re: Nosey Neighbor posted by LaVerne Bessert on August 02, 2000 at 17:54:12:

: : : It makes me angry when I hear about other peoples nosiness on the lives of a care-giver who is already dealing with too much.
: : : I usually tell people "if they walked a millimeter in my shoes....".
: : : I personally have tried the aggressive response but ultimately the one that will reach them is the one that affects them intellectually(if they have any), or show them a slice of your life, so that they can at least see how frustrating it is. you'll have to analyse the woman in question to get the appropriate response - even though you probably feel like saying "p#ss off and get a life"

: : : wishing you strength

: : I read your message and was outraged at this neighbor with no life. Tell her to 'mind her own barn." (Just Kidding) I don't know the ramifications of what she is doing, but you could try this. Invite her over for coffee to meet your mother. Become friends with her and tell her since she is so concerned. maybe she would like to help out like reading to your mother or spending time doing something your mother may enjoy. Maybe you could turn her into a friend instead of a foe. I have no idea what she is like, but this is just a suggestion. Let me know what happens. Or, you could find her in a situation that could be takend out of context and use it against her!! Tell her to simmer down! I am sure if they do an investigation or whatever you will be free and clear of her accusations. Good luck, I have been there and know that caregiving is rewarding but challenging at the same time. PG

: Aloha PG,
: I appreciate your words of wisdom. For your information, I hope to be free from her accusations within a short period of time. Recently, the lawyer I hired, saw my mother and I at a Latin dance at the Sheratorn hotel. My mom loves to dance so I dressed her up and took her there. Anyway, he saw me dancing with her and ws amazed to see how good she looked and remarked about the "quality of life" I am providing for her. This is what this neighbor does not realize.
: As you said, she has "no life." I w2onder what she would be doing if she had to take care of her mother, clean her up several times in the morning and evening, wash her, dress her, and deal with the many changes in personality that occurs time to time? She would probably have no time to deal with someone else's business. I have done research and it seems evident to me that recording someones' conversation without their knowledge is illegal and a felony. Once things are cleared up, I plan to put this woman in her place. Till then, if anyone out there knows anything about the privacy law or where I can look things up, do let me know. Again, I appreciate the support. LB

LB, People make assumptions based on pure speculation. Then they repeat their assumptions as if they are fact to people who have no way of knowing that what they just heard was based on speculation and not on fact. People also make assumptions and then these assumptions color all of their subsequent observations. There is no answer to this sort of thing except to make these busybodies show something real connected to their assumptions which of course they cannot.
As the caregiver to my wife who seldom gets out. I have had the misfortune of having malicious busybodies assume that I must be 'available' or a 'flirt' or 'on the make'because my wife is disabled and I take my young daughter everywhere and guess what 95% of the parents I run into are women. So who do I talk to? Women. So what is the gossip? You fill it in. Disgusting isn't it! So you are not alone. Bill

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