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As I feel more myself, my family becomes verbally abusive.

As I feel more myself, my family becomes verbally abusive.

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Posted by Audrey Williams on September 03, 2000 at 12:18:47:

I have cfs, chronic mono, neurological damage. I used to be quick witted,successful at my job. Also very athletic and a Mom, wife, etc. 10 years ago things fell apart, even before that. I'm lucky (HAH!) to have good disability insurance and am beginning my 4th year out of a job. Things have been nearly impossible,but last year I managed to round up some strong spirituality and some serenity around this illness. My Doc's not great, a real disbeliever, but he has prescribed appropriately. We are looking at Chiari. Working with dotors has been a nightmare, but that's another story. What's happening now is that I am beginning to feel like my old self, intellectually and emotionally. As I grow in these areas, my family (husb.; daughter,18; son,21) has become verbally abusive. I have tried everything, I feel like I'm walking on egges (when I can walk), seeing a family counsellor. I have been sworn at in such filthy language that ...well...I'm not sitting still for this. I've put up with all the garbage for too long. My husband is beginning to see how the children treat me. We went away -just he and I - to a nice inn for 3 days. I felt better in all ways even physically!During this time my favorite uncle died and my sister was in a car accident, and some other hard things happened. My husband and I handled them well, like adults, together. But when we got home from the inn, my children started in all over again. And then my son was sideswiped on his bike by a hit and run red truck! No serious injuries, but hospitalized for several hours. He wouldn't let me nurture him in even the smallest ways. I'm pretty good with emergencies, but I left my husb. with my son and went home. When they came in, my son said he had to take Ibuprophen. And I was about to say that if it hurt his stomach I have Pepto Bismol. I never got to say it. He accused me of all sorts of things that were not true. I believe that he hates me and that his hatred is related to all the years I couldn't be the perfect mother he wanted. I believe that I did the best I could and better that a whole lot of other parents I've seen. I'm a profesional who worked with parents and children. I have told my family that I am starting my own bank account, and their college payments will no longer come from me. Their Dad can do what he wants. We are not rich; the kids can take out loans. All during their growing up, when I had to set a limit or create a consequense for crummy behavior, I've always given them a chance to make amends. This applies now. (By the way, my son was suspended for the first semester of his junior year - for pranks, and general idiocy, although his grades are OK.) My kids both have jobs, friends, and are generally responsible, but they despise me. Sorry so long winded. Has this happened to anyone else?P.S. We are going back to family counseling.

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