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barely...It was sweet of you to ask!

barely...It was sweet of you to ask!

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Posted by Sir Lipton on October 15, 2000 at 17:22:15:

In Reply to: Sir Lipton are you there??? posted by Richeldis on October 15, 2000 at 03:48:22:

Thank you so much for your previous reply! I haven't really had too much energy lately. In the past week, I got about 15 total hours of sleep, and I can't stop shaking, and my eyes burn, I can't think... and I have a paper due tomorrow night... I talked to my dr, and she put me on something to control the shakiness and my sleeping problem, and she's making me go through therapy (which I don't want to do), but I'm getting so much worse. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. I feel like I'm going to have a breakdown soon, and that's what my doctor keeps telling me. She also told me that it's very, very likely that I'll be on medication for the rest of my life. I have no idea what i'll do then. I constantly have these horrible thoughts about cutting my eyes open or killing someone, and I even hit one of my employees a few weeks ago. I'm in danger of losing my job, everything... None of my friends or my family knows about this, and it's my worst fear that someone will find out what's going on. I feel pretty much like giving up because there's no way I can be on medication for the rest of my life, and no way for myself to function w/out it. I have another appointment w/ my doctor in about 2 weeks, and I'll mention those meds. to her, but I went in to see her a couple of days ago, and I told her what was going on, and she pretty much convinced me that nothing was going on, I needed that medication, and she had me feeling a lot better about the medication, until I took it a few hours later... there has to be more to life than this, and when I was off the medciations altogether, I actually went throught times when I felt absolutely great, but then I had worse thoughts, worse depressions, worse voices... I don't even know what's real anymore, and what I'm imagining. I just can't function anymore.
sorry this was so long... I'm just so confused about everything right now.

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