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Re: Do You Mind If I Vent Here?

Re: Do You Mind If I Vent Here?

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Posted by Lo on October 16, 2000 at 23:54:59:

In Reply to: Do You Mind If I Vent Here? posted by Jody on October 16, 2000 at 23:17:19:

Hi Jody,
I really wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss. I haven't been in your shoes but I've been married for about 17 years. I figure that even after the divorce your daughter made you feel linked to your husband so it was almost like being married for 20 but without the problems for the last 10. I hope you will be able to put aside that guilty feeling because it was never your responsibility to stay in an unhappy marriage and you didn't cause your ex-husband's death. He probably wouldn't want you to feel that way.. The shock of its suddeness is probably what's overwhelming you. I hope someone with similar experience to yours will post an answer. All I know for sure is that these feelings will pass. Please don't blame yourself.

: Hi You Guys,
: Up until last Sunday I have been doing so well with not feeling depressed. I know when I tell you this, you will say its normal for me to feel this way, but the overwhelming sadness is scaring me on top of feeling awful. My ex husband died suddenly at the age of 56 last week. I know lots of women who have divorced, but none who have had their ex die. We have a 19 yr old daughter who lives with me in Michigan, and he lived in California. She just got back home last night, and had to get back to college a couple of hours north of here. I feel SO terribly sad for her. She is just a kid. Even though things got bad enough between he and I that we divorced, I feel SO much grief over his death. On top of that, I feel guilty now because he didn't want the divorce. This is so stupid; I didn't feel guilty about divorcing him 10 days ago. We were married for ten years, and divorced for 10 years. The last few years we were together were pure hell, he lied to me about everything. I never hated him, I just didn't like him very much. So why do I feel like I've been hit by a truck? Anyone been through this sort of thing? Thanks for listening.
: Jody

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