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Re: Any women in here that have had a miscarrige and are depressed?

Re: Any women in here that have had a miscarrige and are depressed?

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Posted by Rosy on October 27, 2000 at 09:27:21:

In Reply to: Any women in here that have had a miscarrige and are depressed? posted by ani on October 26, 2000 at 16:19:24:

I know how you feel. It is a terrible thing for anyone to experience, especially when you are only 15. People underestimate the emotions that come with a miscarriage. I see it as being no different from loosing a child, if not worse. You never get a chance to hold him, tell him that you love him, give him a kiss, and then let him go. I'm sorry you had to experience this, but I promise you it will get better. God had he's reasons for taking this unborn child away from you. As hard as it may seem, some day you will realize that you and your future children will be blessed with a little angel. What I found to be theraputic is to give yourself something to constantly remind you of your new angel. A pendant, a pin, a ring, anything that you can look at, smile, and think of as a guardian. I think it is a big mistake when people brush it off as just a miscarriage. You need to go through the necessary process of grief as if you lost someone close to you, other wise it will catch up.
Having said that, you are a child yourself. I have a son who is only 3 years younger than you, and I cannot imagine him becoming a parent. God is trying it tell you something. He's giving you chance to start all over, and do things right. You and your boyfriend are not ready to become parents, not to lecture you, or judge you. I understand your eagerness to become a mother. I am 30years old, and I have a twelve year old. As far back as I can remember, I wanted to be a mother. I wouldnt change it for the world right now, my son is the greatest thing that happened to me, but you see, it was not easy. Nor is it easy. The scary thing is that I now know the only reason I wanted to be a mother (besides the fact that newborns are adorable), is because I missed being loved. My mom never really cared too much about me. I was invisable practically, and I really needed to feel loved. I knew if I had a child it would love me unconditionally, just as I love my mom. If I had my own baby I would do things right, not like my mom. Now I know this now, but I had no idea all this was going through my mind when I was a teenager, and I wish I had someone to talk to, to point it out to me. I would have done things differently. Like I said, I am blessed to have my son, but I wish I had done things differently so that I could offer more to him. I worked very hard to finish high school, get a job (because babys are expensive unless you decide to be a welfare mom, wich I was dead against), go to college, buy a house, make a college fund, get therapy, give him everything that he deserves emotionally, spiritually, financially. You see if you have baggage, you will give it to your child whether you want to or not. I'm sorry to go on and on. I hope you dont feel as though I am lecturing you at such a difficult time in your life. I wish you well my child, I will pray for you and your little angel to find happiness together. Best wishes to you. Rosy

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