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NOT all women...

NOT all women...

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Posted by Kathrin on October 28, 2000 at 16:51:43:

In Reply to: Re: How can I get a gun? posted by Tired of Life on October 28, 2000 at 13:21:29:

Dear Tired
not ALL women want a "confident man", I don't agree withy Grace, sorry Grace..... Actually myself right now i could not imagine being in any kind of relationship, i hvae too many other things to deal with. But IF I wanted a man probably i would choose somebody who is different, who is maybe a little bit scared of the world because this world is so confusing, who is not a macho type and who knows rejection and who is deep and emotional and FEELS things and can laugh and cry with me... I think I would want somebody who was rejected by his peers because otherwise he was probably one of those who reject others.... I mnean I don't KNOW who i will finally really fall in love with (if i will at all), but right now if you asked me what kind of man I would like I think I would go for those who are rejected by the rest of the world.
You know this society is pretty screwed up. Well YOU know that i guess. Oh I remember middle school, even high school... I remember that you sort of HAD to fit in... oh and how I wanted to fit in! I tried so hard. But they knew I tried, and the more I tried, the less they would let me.
I tried and tried but i was rejected and rejected.
I was so sad. I thought, these are supoosed to be my teenage years, I am supposed to have fun, why don't they let me????
I was very sad.
I changed to High School and thought everything was going to change, but the thing was, I was so INSECURE I could not even look into somebody's eyes without thinking "Oh he/she must think I am ugly now".
So of course i had problems again.
Until I started not caring about it anymore.
I started looking for other things.
I spent recession time with a shy girl from another class.
And oh miracle my self-esteem got better and i even made friends with some girls in my class.
I started dreaming and writing lots of poetry. Writing songs.
I started thinking a lot about how this society is screwed up and how I could help change things and hoe i could help fight for all those who are rejected and insecure.
I became myself.

I am now single and yes I still have some problems sometimes, but I am very very intense and I feel deeply and I help a lot of people.
I talk to the lonely homeless sometimes and can feel for them.
Because i know rejection.
I wriote songs and I perfrom them in cafes and in the street when I need some cash.
I sing about feelings. Good feelings and sad feelings.

I do not regret having been rejected a lot.
I think it helped me grow.

Ok you say depression is not the cause, rejection is the cause.
But dear Tired, you can turn this whole thing around and use it for GROWTH!
No you don't have to end up a mass murderer or terroirist or anything like that. You don't have to kill yourself eiother.
Actually i don't WANT you, especially you, to lkill yourself.
If all the rejected just killed themselves, what would the world become? The world needs us!!!!!
Very very much.

Become yourself.
Write a poem, write a song, dress the way YOU like it, talk to the people you feel comfortable with, and do not worry about notnhaving had a girlfriend yet.
I have long stopped worrying about that.
I think now that i am better off than a lot of people who have had it a lot easier.
Not having it that easy makes you grow more.



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