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Re: Still Seeking Solution; New members, please read

Re: Still Seeking Solution; New members, please read

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Posted by French Lover on November 09, 2000 at 15:02:27:

In Reply to: Re: Still Seeking Solution; New members, please read posted by Lo on November 08, 2000 at 17:22:36:

: Hi Tired! Your question is a valid one from someone whose single. Here's the scoop from almost 20 yrs married: married people can feel lonely for many reasons. People change, and a couple's interests -- even their values and attitudes -- can become increasingly different as time goes on. Other times, the couple married for the wrong reasons and never had enough in common to begin with. Then again, the worries and responsibilities of finances, child-rearing, etc. can drain the fun and romance right out of a relationships. Then there's the simple fact that women and men often have different ideas of what is enjoyable/funny/interesting, etc. Although my husband and I get along, I notice that he is much more light-hearted when he's with his friends. For him, I'm associated with his burdens and responsibilities. I think its the same for everyone regarding their spouses. For many years I've missed out on any concert, show or activity I wanted to take part in because he just wasn't interested. He assumed I could find someone to go with me; well I couldn't so I just didn't go. Our interests have diverged so much its more like an amiable business partnership than a marriage. As for the question about me being repulsive, I just said that I don't attract friendship and I wonder what I'm doing wrong. People seem to like me and I get a positive response when I talk to them, but I haven't had a real friend since highschool. Its like people don't notice me; they don't think to include me, they aren't interested in accepting my invitations, they don't remember me after I'm gone. I'd like to change that but I don't have a clue what I'm doing wrong. Hope that clears it up.
: Lo

Hello my darling..hmm...seems to me that you need to make mad passionate love to your husband in order to get the sparks going again. Perhaps its not friends that you are seeking - which merely serves as a substitute for the lack of love and attention your husband is not showing you - maybe you need is a good night out and a romantic evening and a relaxing sponge bath!

re-read what you said about your marriage and how two people change and diverge over time. That happens in friendships too. It is part of life - you are married now - that is the lifestyle you have committed to for life - now concentrate on making that last a lifetime...

there are many single people out there that fantasize about how wonderful and happy it feels to be married and have unconditional love and acceptance for a lifetime...please do not disappoint yourself and your husband - or else tell the world that marriage is a big lie and its best to stay single....and love the world!

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