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Re: It's difficult to be positive

Re: It's difficult to be positive

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Posted by Autumn on November 15, 2000 at 11:52:53:

In Reply to: It's difficult to be positive posted by Tired on November 14, 2000 at 02:41:51:

: I don't know what I can be positive about. I don't have a job anymore (I hated the last one). I go to school twice a week, but I have no clue what I want to do for a "career". I have no friends and I'm too afraid to hang out with people (they might find out how depressed I am). I don't have a girlfriend (I've never had one) and I'm in love with a woman who I hasn't completely accepted me. I'm probably too boring and awkward because I get excited and anxious when I believe someone I like feels the same way about me.

: The positive things are my little sister, parents, and my grandmothers. Without them I would be physically alone all of the time (Mentally I'm alone all of the time). Their probably the reason why I'm still alive. It would destroy them if I committed suicide.

: Sometimes I think people make a conscious effort to think "positive" in order to psyche themselves out of a life which is composed mainly of negative situations. I would probably think postive if I hadn't been rejected by so many people for so long. I believe that positive thoughts come from positive experiences and negative thoughts come from negative experiences. My thinking is a direct reaction to my circumstances and nothing more. After being rejected by 40+ women in a row and to be disrespected by so many guys for so long. For me to be positive about this would be denying myself the truth about my situation. I could say "Those girls just weren't meant to be an I'll find the right one" or "It's just their loss because I'm a great guy". I could also say "don't be down on yourself because you're still young and you have plenty of time to meet someone". I've actually said these things to myself and I believed them. It actually gave me a false sense of hope. The problem is that when you try to be positive and the results continue to be negative, it becomes difficult to believe your "positive lies". If you don't mind thinking positive even when it may not be the truth, then you are a lucky person because you can give synthesize joy when there is little or no joy in your life. I hsd this ability before, but now I'm tired of lying to myself to "psyche" myself out. Good Night.

Hi Tired, (Hey, you stole my nickname.) I'm new to this board and this letter was especially compelling for me because what you stated here just seemed like you were reading my mind. I can not disagree with anything you have to say in this letter yet I've read your previous messages and must let you in on something. Having another person (a lover, girlfriend, partner, etc) will not change a thing.Oh maybe on a tempory basis but it won't last long. Before you know it, you'll be feeling just like you are at this very moment and asking yourself why. Even if you do get that great job and wonderful girl, the negativity won't change. Relying on outside influences to snap us out of this hole is not the way to go. I have all those things you say you wish you had and still feel as you do. I have a wonderful partner, nice job, great family, beautiful home. And I still HATE this place! I don't mean to sound as if there is no hope, because I think there may be if just once, someone on these bulletin boards would get on the subject of "INJUSTICE". Injustice is my enemy and it sounds like it may be yours also. When an injustice occurs, whether it be to me, a child or an animal, It can actually throw me on the couch! Having no control over a situation involving the evil ways of humanity to an innocent situation just wipes me out. If something presumes to be "unfair" to me, I don't know how to handle it. I want it changed, I want it fixed, I want it to go away, PERIOD. Once one thing is resolved, another takes it's place. It could be the poor dog in my neighbors yard, not getting any attention. I will dwell on that dog for a year. I will visit him, get him water, even feed him a Thanksgiving dinner. I must solve the problem or it will drive me insane! If someone has been "unfair" to me, it's even worse! I will dwell on that persons horrible actions towards me as if they were Hitler and I was placed in a concentration camp! Each "INJUSTICE" in my life makes it harder and harder to go on. Obviously, we are taking others actions quite personally. I used to say to myself, when I was in my twenties, "What's wrong with me? Why doesn't anyone like me?" Now that I'm older, I find myself constantly saying, "What the hell is wrong with these people, they're all evil!" Both ways of thinking are negative and unhealthy.I do know one thing. Finding others who think and feel as I do does help a lot. We do have to make sure we are angry, sad, tired, or in a big mess for the right reason. So what do you think? How do you handle "INJUSTICES" in your life? Once we find out that we stink at handling them, Maybe we can come up with some ideas on what to do about it.

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