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Posted by Jessica on May 31, 2000 at 10:23:32:

In Reply to: 19 week sonogram shows Down's posted by Jan on May 26, 2000 at 11:11:04:

: My niece called me an hour ago to tell me her 19 week sonogram indicates her baby will be born with Down's: the baby has shorter than normal legs and arms, fluid in a ventricle and an echogenic heart problem. We are all stunned and at a loss on how to support her and everyone this affects, especially with some of the decisions she has to make at this point. How do we find the best doctor? Does the ventricle need in-utero surgery to prevent more fluid buildup? Is it too early to be thinking of these things?

: We are receptive to any of your suggestions.


I can only share a few things from my own experience with you. These are things I wish someone had said to me, or avoided saying.

First, congratulations!!! She is expecting a BABY! Do not say you are sorry, or offer condolences. I hated it when people acted as though my daughter had died.

Second, she is lucky to know before hand that the baby has Down syndrome. She now has the rest of the pregnancy to read all the material she can get her hands on!!! This baby will be more like other babies than different. It may have low-muscle tone, which will lead to physical and fine motor delays. It may take longer for her child to learn to talk. But it won't affect how her baby learns to love, to appreciate mom and dad. Love the baby for who he or she is, not who he isn't.

I could go on and on!!!!! If you or she would like to contact me personally, e-mail me at [email protected]
I would love to share stories, any information and web resources I have found.

Take care, and bless you,

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