Discussions that mention asacol

Cancer: Colon board

If anyone can help shed some light on this please do. First of all...I had previously posted a range of my symptoms...but some new ones are becoming more serious. Secondly, I have to admit that I have not been offically dx with cc. I have an upcoming colonoscopy next Wednesday.
However, this does not mean I am not suffering...nor does it mean I am worrying over nothing. I that I have convinced myself that I have cc because of all my symptoms etc. I keep a log of my eating and bathroom visits,stools,weight chart.. as well as other things and issues.

I have no appetite and feel fatigued a lot. My weight has dropped around 10 pounds in the last few weeks and overall for the last 2 months. My girlfriend thinks the weight loss is from my eating less.

Here's my dilemma right now.
How can I know if the weight loss, appetite loss, bad sleep patterns,are symptoms of the fact that every second of every day just about I am fixed on the notion that I have cc and that I am on borrowed time.Many people say to me that I can't be my own doctor and that is true. But I know what my symptoms are (some I have had for a long time some are newer). Basically, I have all the symptoms of cc. I even have rectal pain constantly...and it worsens when I go to the bathroom. I haven't seen a normal stool in many years and they have gradually diminished in caliber.
And now my latest problem has been some fecal incontinence (at times).
Yesterday, I couldn't hold back and some liquid stool dripped in my underwear.
Two nights ago I was at the ER from having green diarreah,rectal pain, bleeding fissure like sores in my gluteal folds. I had to go to the ER because my gastro's office refused to see me on an urgent basis. SO I was resigned to go to the ER. The nurse...after taking my bp,They took a ton of blood and then an IV setup thing in my arm. The ER Doctor was a very young looking (could not have been more than 35)woman.
The doctor examined me....palpated my abdominal areas and when she gave me a rectal exam (keep in mind she only has a tiny finger and she went up maybe an inch) it BURNED so bad. she said she saw no stool or blood. ( I was previously on a 24 hour liquid diet). She said the blood would be likely to be in the stool so that's why. She DID say that she felt a (ridge) of some kind...but I forgot the details of that.
Eventually they just gave me a script for Prednisone....and sent me on my way saying to follow through with the colonoscopy.

I feel medically abandoned. My gastro-doc is nowhere to be found . His office co-doctors will not call me either.
My girlfriend doesn't know what to say anymore.
I remember my dog ..when she had lymphoma..and how shw was on her last legs.
I have unsteady gate and extreme weakness....and it scares me because I get into a whirlwind mindset and ALL I can think about is when will the end come for me.

I don't mean to be a drag here, I know this is a support website. But I am sick right now and need help. Since the ER won't put me in the hospital (I'd be willing to go in)I have to stay here at home and go through all this misery.
I saw my shrink today and she said I looked like hell. She also said that whatever I have is serious and must be treated. Yes I know that.
She also said I was having a nervous breakdown and she offered to put me in a psychiatric ward if I wanted.
I said "NO" !!! I wasn't gonna do that.
She gave me a script for an antidepressant that when taken at a very low dosage will have a sedative effect on me. It's called Remeron.
She said it should allow me to sleep longer than I have been.
Problem here is with all these drugs coming from different pharmacies..I don't know if there is a safety in all the interactions.
I am on....Inderal 20mg 4x a day Xanax .5 gm 4times a day. Asacol 400 mg 4x3 Rowasa medicinal enemas at night..Analpram cream for rectal and anal pain.
Plus the new ones are the Prednisone (which I am afriad to take anyway) and the Remeron.

Since no doctor will help me try to get through this hellish weekend....I must somehow find inner strangth or support of others who have experience .
I feel very fatigued.. weak..have no appetite..( have had to force any food down) have been losing weight. Some blood now in small stools...some diarhea...gassy distended abdomen..(worse in the morning) sleeplessness...worry and fear off the scale. I have tried so many times to re-route my thinking but my symptoms keep reminding me of what's going on.

Sorry so sorry to bother anyone reading this...but again I have tried to get help elsewhere and nobody is able to.