I had a problem with very high BP's at menopause. Like you, I had a tough time trying out everything ever produced. What FINALLY worked for me was Diovan, an ARB. I had no side effects, however it did not effectively lower my BP until I was on a large dose. I needed 160 mgs twice a day. It worked for me, when other meds created unpleasant side effects and I had to discontinue them.
Now, I also have a thryoid problem and am trying to get used to the atenolol effects to lower my tachycardia. I find that with atenolol, if I start low and go slow, the side effects are more manageable. I found that by starting at baby doses of 6.25 mgs, staying there for a week, I am now able to increase my dose slowly. So for me, this is working now.
I know you'll find something that is right for you too. We are all different and our doctors need to understand that and not lose patience with us.