Discussions that mention celexa

Back Problems board

Hi Everyone :wave:

I am sorry to jump in on your post, but I wanted to let Lisa know, that I completely understand what she is going through, because I was once there.

Lisa, I am so sorry for what you are going through, and what happened to you after you had your mylogram done. I haven't been on in awhile, so I was catching up on all the post and seen that you were in the hospital. I guess things haven't gotten any better for you, and I am sorry to hear that. It sounds to me, that things are getting worst :(

I wanted to tell you that you are not alone. I have two teenage girls which are 13 & 17, which we all know are a handful, and especially boy crazy. Before my accident, all the kids would hang out at my house because they all thought that my house was a cool place to be. They could come to my house and have fun. They could turn up the stereo, dance, sing, and let the phone ring off the hook, and not get yelled at.

They don't think that way anymore, because my accident changed me. I became very short tempered, I had NO patience and I was so irritable that I started hating everything and everybody. I never had anything nice to say, and I just wanted to be left alone. Everything became a problem to me, such as: driving my girls to a game, taking them over to a friends house, and all the other stuff us moms do. I didn't allow anymore sleep overs, and I didn't want the kids hanging out at my house anymore. Everything annoyed me, and I really hated myself. Because of my pain, I took a lot of things out on my family. I would get very emotional and have mood swings. One day I would appologize to my husband and kids when I was feeling sad and guilty, and then the next day I would be a Bi***! It became a routine. I said so many awful things to my girls and my husband, that I am so ashamed of myself. I would say the meanest things that I could possibly could, just to hurt them. I would get so mad because everyone seemed to have a life, except me! I resented the fact that I was no good to anyone not even myself. I resented that my family didn't show me any compassion and I became a very bitter person. I would cry constantly. I was on a emotional roller coaster that had no end. I was so angry at everyone including myself. To be honest with you, I just hated life. I couldn't do any activities that my girls or husband wanted to do, and that would make things worst. But here is the kicker, if my husband wanted to go to a movie or something like that, and I wasn't up to it, I would tell him to go ahead without me. When he did, I would be so mad the entire time that he was gone. I would snap on him at the first chance I got. I am very embarresed to tell you this, but this is what was happening to me.

Then one day my girlfriend told me that I seemed to be depressed. I had isolated myself from everyone and everything. At first when my friend said this to me, I felt a little insulted, but I knew she was right and I had to do something, but I let it go for awhile. Then I started having these episodes that I felt like I couldn't breath. It almost felt like I was dying. It wasn't until some caring paople on this board told me that I was having panic attacks!

I made a appointment with a Pychiatrist which was very hard for me to do, but I did it. He tried me on Paxil CR, but after a week or so, it didn't agree with me. Then we tried Celexa, and within a few days, I wasn't as irritable and the panic attacks stopped. After about a month, I was almost back to myself. My husband and girls have seen a huge difference in me. I have more patience and I don't walk around with that chip on my shoulder anymore. I have been going out more often, and I don't isolate myself anymore. I am more patient and kind to my husband and kids, and I am not so angry anymore.

Things are really going great right now as far as my emotional state. I still have the back pain, but I have a easier time dealing with it then I did before. I never believed in depression, and I was always against antidepressants, but it saved me from destroying my relationship with the people that I love and cherish the most. My life revolves around my 2 girls and my husband, and I just didn't want to hurt them anymore then I already did.

Also, for the first time since my injury, I went on vacation to Myrtle Beach South Carolina, and I had a great time. I forgot how beautiful the ocean was, and how much I enjoyed the outdoors. Did I have pain, absolutley, but I didn't let it get the best of me. My new outlook on life is, enjoy what you can do, and don't think about what you can't do. I was not able to do a lot of the things I wanted to do, but thats okay, atleast I have something to look forward to.

I guess what I am trying to say is, maybe you are depressed, and there is nothing wrong with that. When we have pain day after day, it eventually gets to us. Pain and depression come hand in hand, trust me, I know this for a fact because it happened to me!

Please lisa, if you ever need someone to talk to, I am here to listen. You have so much support right at your finger tips, don't feel ashamed to express yourself. I think that most of us have been in your situation one time or another, so we do understand. Thanks to this board, I got the help that I desperatly needed, and I am a better person because of it. Just remeber one thing, pain can get the best of anyone and unfortunatley, you are no exception.

Please keep your chin up. If I were you, I would try what the nurse said. Maybe if you can get some kind of control of your pain, things will just fall back into place for you, that is how it happened for me. Once I got my pain under control, everything just fell into place. I had a Intral-Discal Injection done and that is when I finally started feeling better physically. Once that was under control, then I started dealing with the emotional part. I think I should have done it the opposite way, but I always do things backwards.

I will keep you in my thoughts, and in my prayers. You can get through this, just don't give up on yourself.

God Bless,
~Brenda [img]http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif[/img]
Hi Lisa & Mokita :wave:

Lisa, :wave:
I am so glad that my post helped you, and I am sorry if I made you cry. Girl, you sound so much like me when I was going through my depression. I remember a dear friend that I have never met from the boards name Backwoes Lisa, was always there for me, and her posts always had me crying my eyes out. She helped me get through some of my toughest times, because she understood where I was comming from. I remember when someone would ask me how I was feeling emotionally, and oh my gosh, I would cover my face like you did, and cry so hard that I could barely talk. All my emotions would come out, and then I would get embaressed. I too worried that people would think I was crazy! I guess we hold a lot of it inside ourselves, and then we get to the point that when our emotions out, we can't control them, so it is easier just to hold them in.

As far as the concentration, I had a very hard time with that. I couldn't remember anything. I got into many aurguments with my husband because of that. He would say I said something, and I would tell him that he was crazy and deny it. That was a huge problem that put a lot of strain on my relationship. I finally went out and bought a dry eraser calendar board, so that I could keep track of appointments and things like that. It was awful. I couldn't remember anything and I thought I was losing my mind. This is how bad it got Lisa. I had got to the point, that I told my family that when they had to tell me something, to keep it short and to the point. I couldn't handle a long conversation because it would just piss me off and annoy me. I just couldn't concentrate long enough to hear the whole conversation.....that in itself, made me feel like I was losing my mind. I couldn't even concentrate long enough to read a post if it was to long! Another thing that use to happen to me that really scared me was, taking my pain medication. I would forget how many I took it, and what time it was when I took my last pill. I was a mess and as time went on, I got worst!

Lisa, you and I have so much in common. I had to reply to this thread because your post described me to a T, and I just had to let you know that I understood how you felt, and what you are going through. Aren't you the one who also worked in a school district like me?

Lisa, I don't want to push the issue here, but please get help. It doesn't have to be this way, and there is nothing wrong with trying to help yourself get through this mess that you are in. We all need some kind of help one time or another. You shouldn't have to deal with all this stuff at once. If you are like me, you think you can handle everything on your own. Just remember, getting help isn't a sign of weakness. If something can help you out until you are back on your feet, then why not do it. It doesn't have to be a life long commitment, it can me something temporarily just to get you by. You have a lot of things going on physically and mentally, and you can't get better doing it all by yourself. Even Superman needs to rest once in awhile. Maybe if you can rest that mind of yours, then you can concentrate on making Lisa better. When Lisa feels better mentally, then you can concentrate just on the physical part. Did you ever hear of the saying "If mama ain't happy, nobody is"? Well, it is so true! It wasn't until the Celexa kicked in that I seen things settle down. My household was a mess because I was the one who kept everything and everyone together. I seen everything falling apart right before my eyes, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Before my accident, I brought calm to chaos. After my injury, I brought chaos to all the calm. If I wasn't snapping, screaming, complaining or crying, I wasn't talking! All I can say is, thank God for antidepressants!

Lisa, please do what you think is best for you. If the pain medication is making you sick to your stomach, then it might be to much for you. The doctor might have to change your medication until you find one that controls some of your pain, and isn't hard on your stomach.

I think you know what you need to do. Sometimes we just need someone to point us into the right direction, and I hope I did that for you.

Don't worry hun, your sweet and kind personality will never change, and you will always be cool with the kids regardless, you just need to find yourself again. You are a strong person and only you know what has to be done. If I can help you in anyway, please let me know. I am here for you no matter what!

Please keep us posted and do take care of yourself. I will keep you in my thoughts, and I will say some extra prayers for you.

Mokita, :wave:
That was very sweet of you to start a thread for Lisa. You are a very thoughtful and kind person for reaching out. Boy you have your hands full with having little ones that age. It is hard enough when you aren't in any pain to chase and pick up after little ones, but to be in pain, I can't imangine. I guess surgery for you is out of the picture for awhile.

I agree with using AD, even if it is used for a short amount of time. As long as it helps you get through what you need to get through, atleast your mental state is under control.

So what has been going on with you? I see that you are going to get injections. What are they going to do about the disc tears? Are you still going to go through with the second discogram? i am sorry but I haven't been on in awhile, so I need to catch up on all the posts.

Oh by the way, what happened on the pain management boards with shoreline? I had read his post to you, and that was not right what he said to you. Did he ever appologize to you? Try not to let one persons post get the best of you. You are much better then that! Why can't we all just get along? Every one is entitled to their own opinion, but putting someone down and name calling, should not be tolerated. I know you probably want to leave it in the past and just forget about it, so we will leave it at that. I just wanted you to know that I am sorry what was said to you.

Anyway, keep me posted on your upcomming injection and any progress that you make. I also wanted to talk to you about the oxy contin, but I have to go to a appointment so I have to get off. My doctor wants to put me on it, but I am scared. Any information that you could provide me, would be appreciated. Things like side effects and ect.... I will talk to you soon, gotta go.

God Bless,
~Brenda [img]http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif[/img]