Hi usta and vette and all:
I've been reading, but not been posting on here for the past few days cuz I felt like I was a worthless piece of dung. I felt like you all had it so together and I sucked. In a way it was such a relief to read that you have the same isssues that I am facing too. I am a smoker too (since age 18, now 47), and did very well while in the hosp not really missing the smokes. Like shawley says, I guess it's the drugs and pain that make us not miss the smokes at the hosp. I was so out of it in the hosp. When I got home, I had someone get me a pack, KNOWING it was SOOOOO very wrong. I haven't put them down since. My husband doesn't know I am smoking again, nor does my doc. I'm scared, and want to quit soooo much. Before my surgery, I had cut way back, from 3 packs to about 1 pack and a few a day, in readying myself to quit.... then the CES thing hit, and I had to "quit" cold turkey when I had to have the emergency MicroD and 2 level fusion on the 9th.
I feel just awful about smoking. I don't know who to go to in order to try to get the Chantix cuz I'm afraid to let my NeuroSurgeon know. My insurance doesn't cover it, I already checked. Anyone know how much it costs? I have an appt on Sat to get my staples out, and my husband will be with me, so I'm scared to talk with my NS about it then.
I started taking Calcium, and Glucosimane and Chondrotin. I had called the NS to ask about starting them since I was a smoker up till my surgery date, and he said it wasn't important, that the important thing was I wasn't smoking now. So I said to myself, guess I better start those supplements since I'm a jerk and AM smoking.
I'm a mess about this. I hate being so weak to a stupid drug like nicotene. Healing wise I'm doing well. I'm getting out and walking my cul-de-sac several times a day, and my pain levels are not THAT bad. Mostly just the muscle spasams, and nerve pain deep in right calf and hamstring. Doc is letting me go back to work on Monday for part time to just oversee my students. I teach sign language, so there is no one to sub for me.
Sorry for the very long post, but I feel a bit better after a good cry and post. Thanks for reading this far. I'll keep us all in my prayers that we can kick this nasty habit.
Hugs to all,