Discussions that mention chantix

Back Problems board

Hey Scrappi,

Let me start by saying...you have me confused with someone else..lol. Im not going to have a fusion done. If I elect to do the surgery...its laminectomy and microdiscetomy. Does that make it easier for you to encourage me, knowing that fusions are much more complicated surgery? lol. Sorry...just wanted to get that in there, so that you will more as to how to help me. He told me that if I didnt stop smoking, that he couldnt guarantee that it wouldnt lead to fusions down the line.

I went to my primary dr today to get my anxiety meds, and.....to prescribe chantix for me. ;) Ive quit before, so I know I can do it...I just have to be ready...and not feel forced by others...lol. She is also helping me with my weight....she gave me excellent ideas on things. Since I cant be active, cant exercise....the only way she knew to help me was to tell me how she stays thin. I had been misled all these years that if you go below 1000 calories a day, that you will be a very unhealthy person...she told me that that is just not true...as I had told her that I was down to 800 a day and still gaining. She told me that being inactive, and not being able to exercise, that I dont need that many calories a day, just to be certain to keep my protein and fiber amounts up. So am going to give that a try for a month to see how it goes......if its successful, that will help my back problems as well.

Yeah, I fully agree, that if wc hadnt been such slackards on getting me the proper care in the right amount of time...i dont think i would be facing surgery. But....nothing i can do about that now.

I still dont know how I feel about surgery....I felt a touch more encouraged by my doctor I talked to today....and then hearing you....Im going to try to not be so negative.....now......just gotta convince hubby to not be so negative....and look at the options and weigh them out.
Ladybug I just want to give you some encouragement on the Chantix. I took it last May and only for 2 months and I have been quit since then after 40 years of smoking. I won't say it is easy because it wasn't but I finally set my mind to it and I knew I would probably be having back surgery in my near future and I didn't want the doctor to use that as an excuse if I didn't recover. I will admit that I have had more trouble since my last surgery March 5th but I am so close to the year anniversary that I won't let MYSELF down. I would appreciate you telling me how your diet goes because I am having a terrible time with my weight. I have gained 9 lbs in 1 week with the Neurontin and I know that is it and I asked them to switch me to Topomax but they won't even though I have heard other people say it helps with nerve pain and they lose weight.

Anyway good luck with the Chantix and also any pain that you are dealing with because most people do not understand what chronic pain sufferers go through except another pain sufferer.

kyma....thank you for the encouragement. i started on the chantix today...so we will see how it goes. im doing it for my health, as well as in case i do the surgery...then as you said...that will leave no room for the dr to say it was my fault that it failed..if it does..lol.

as far as the topomax...have you read up on it? the medications you cannot take with it?? some medications, (the one i know of off the top of my head) like xanax...its a deadly combination. so that might be why they are hesitant to put you on it?? otherwise, i wouldnt know why they wouldnt try it. did you explain to them that one of the things its used for is for nerve pain? some drs dont even know that. so id go to the website, and print out the info for your dr to see, to show him that thats one of the uses for it. as far as the weight...i totally understand. i have gained 30+ pounds since i got hurt 18 months ago...most of it was gained in the last year though. so, now im 30+ pounds overweight. i will let you know if the suggestions that my dr gave me helps. i should think that i would see results within at least 2 weeks anyway. (I hope so anyway!!)

you are right....people that have never experienced back troubles certainly do not understand..and cant understand until they go through it. my hubby has been a back pain sufferer for 20+ years, (ruptured discs, surgery, arthritis)...and i NEVER understood the pain he went through...because he would complain and tell me...you just dont understand!!! lol. but once i experienced a ruptured disc myself...buddy it didnt take me long to tell him how much admiration i have for him for working as hard as he does. theres just no possible way that i could do all of the things that he does!!

thanks again for the encouragement....;)
Hey Ladybug I don't know why they won't try the Topomax because I am not taking Xanax or any other medicine on the list that recomends not mixing. I guess I will have to wait and talk to him next week. Right now I am hoping the nerve pain does not come back now that I am weaning myself off the Neurontin. The nurse with Home Health couldn't understand just reducing the Neurontin first and see if the swelling would come down. My feet and ankles are swollen so bad and they don't even go down after being off of them when I am sleeping. I told them I was willing to drop down to one or two pills but the PA at my doctor's office said NO. I am just saying my prayers the nerve pain doesn't come back because it hurt so bad but the swelling was also starting to hurt, too.

I really wish you the best of luck with the Chantix and I know you can do it. You can also go over to the health board on Smoking Cessation and get some help there. Hope you have a good and pain free day and weekend.

Hey Scrappi.

Im doing pretty good. After sitting at Easter dinner at my in-laws, I was hurting pretty bad, but, I got through it. Other than that, Easter weekend was pretty good! Its so exciting to have little ones excited about the holidays, to see the joy on their cute little faces! Oh, those were the days! Noodles and cheese, huh? wow. lol. Thats a good thing though...at least the sugar bugs will stay away and not bring him cavities....and he wont get as hyper..lol. Im glad to hear that your Easter was nice.

Yes, with the surgery procedure, they will go in and clean up and the mess, and shave the part of the disc thats pressing on the nerve. Theres nothing in my report that shows anything pressing on the other nerve. But from day 1 of the injury, every so often, Ive had sciatic pain in the left leg...it just wasnt nearly as bad, or as often as the right leg...so who knows??!!

As far as losing weight and quitting smoking.....the Chantix is SUPPOSED to do all the work for me on the smoking issue. Everyone says that after 2 weeks, you just no longer want to smoke, that the taste is very nasty, etc. So, hopefully, it will be that simple. I had quit in Feb. 06 using the Wellbutrin, it done just that...made them soooo nasty!! I wasnt able to stay on it that long because it caused me to go into a very bad depressive state...along with the fact that I had dealt with my dads death 9 months prior, and in Jan 06 learning that my sister had colon cancer....so between the 2, I was already sad and depressed (just not severely). But a few weeks of the Wellbutrin..Lord...I hated myself and everyone around me...so I knew I had to come off the meds....but luckily, I had been on them long enough that it worked as far as the smoking. But, when I went to work in May, I was around smokers ALOT...and they always wanted me to go with them while they smoked....so by June...I caved in to the temptation to have ONE social smoke....and thats all it took! So, if the Chantix works just as well...I know I can quit.....that will be easy. The hardest is losing the weight. My dr has me on a plan, which I think will work....but its still VERY hard! And she laughed as well, and told me that shes never had any of her patients to work on quitting smoking and losing weight at the same time...lol. But if you are desperate enough ...you can accomplish anything! But knowing that quitting smoking causes you to gain weight...I cannot afford to gain any more weight........so Ive GOT to work on it!! the only time in my life that Ive been this heavy is when I was pg with my girls...lol. I hate every second of it too!! I dont wanna be 110 pounds.....130-140 will be good for me! But weight wise...I KNOW I can do it.....smoking wise...it all depends on the Chantix! Theres no way I can do that on my own. I have anxiety really bad..so I have to take something to help me quit.

Im really glad that your pain meds are working so that you can enjoy life, and enjoy Little E during his childhood stages. :D Im sooooooooo happy for you!! I know all too well what you mean about meds making you so drowsy. Thats one of the biggest reasons why I suffer through pain. I either hurt, or Im so groggy that I cant function...so either way...I dont function....so whats the point? And alot of the times, I just cant afford to be groggy! Well, take care and I look forward to hearing from you again!
Hello Ladybug,

How was your day today? Mine was fine, I was nauseous, as usual, but other than that it was great. It was beautiful here today...bright, sunny and low 50's.

Another TERRIBLE side effect of the patch, atleast for me, is nausea and sometimes vomiting...on March 3rd, when my doctor increased the patch, she gave me a generous script for phenergan...I'm not sure if you know what phenergan is or not so I'll explain...it's a miracle drug to me...in my opinion, it's a real Godsend...it stops me from feeling nauseous and from throwing up...I lived on it throughout my entire pregnancy b/c I was so sick, I had hypermesis during my pregnancy...pregnancy was the best weight loss plan I have ever came across...lol. The only downside to phenergan is it makes me drowsy...yeah, I know, I don't need any other meds to make me more drowsy...I break the pills in half and pray a half a pill will take my nausea away, most of the time, especially when I'm alone with Little E, I try to tough it out and not take any phenergan but when naptime rolls around I give in and have a good nap.

Have you started the Chantix yet? Does it just take away your craving? Do you still smoke when you first start taking Chantix? I can understand why you stopped taking the Wellbutrin...taking a medicine that curbs cigarette cravings and also being an antidepressant is tricky...before I became pregnant with Little E, I experienced years of severe depression and took Wellbutrin...I really liked it, I think it worked well. Keep me updated on how you're doing on the Chantix.

I think I might start looking once again for a surgeon. I know it's only a matter of time until the patch is no longer going to provide the great pain relief it does now...joy, joy.

Take care,
Hey Scrappi,

My day was actually pretty good. I done some house cleaning today..and the only problem Im experiencing right now is burning in my leg/foot. But its tolerable. Today was gorgeous here.....low 70's... sunny and breezy..lol. (sorry, just had to gloat about it..lol)...its gonna be in the low 80's on Friday. lol. (just had to gloat some more..lol)

Sorry to hear about your nausea. Yeah, Ive heard of phernergan. Alot of people praise that drug..but thankfully...Ive never had to use it myself. LOL...thats funny about losing weight while pg...lol...quite the opposite with me!!! I gained 60 pounds with both of my girls!! With my first, it was understandable, cause I ate everything in site....but with my second...I dont know what happened!! I didnt want to gain as I done with my first, so I tried to eat "normal"..lol.

Yes, I have been taking the Chantix. They say that you wont notice anything until you have been on it for at least 2 weeks. Its been 7 days for me, since I started taking it. Yeah, I still smoke while on it (its safe to do so, unlike with nicorette, etc). I dont have as much urge to smoke....it is lessening some...not a whole lot yet, though. So too soon to know if its going to work for me....It did cause nausea around the 3rd day.....but Ive learned that if I go lay down shortly after taking it, it doesnt hit me too bad. I liked the wellbutrin too, until it caused me to "go insane"..lol. It really did cause me to hate myself and everyone around me. But luckily, I knew the signs of depression, and once I realized what was happening to me, I knew to come off of them. Within a few days, I was back to my bubbly self again. But it really did help with making me not want to smoke..sure wish i could tolerate it!!

I hate that you are going through all of this. I really do. On one hand, I wanna say to try to not be so negative about the patch, but then again, I know that after time, your body becomes immune to the drugs, and you either need more and more, or something new.....so I know how helpless/hopeless you just have to be feeling. thats why I try so hard to fight the pain when I can, and only give in and take them when Im tired of fighting the pain. I really feel for you....stories like yours is why Im so against having the surgery done for myself. Its just so scary. I havent heard a word yet about if wc has or will approve the therapy...been over a week now! Thats nothing new though...lol. Im hoping that it will work and that it will "cure" me so that I can end this nightmare with wc and feeling pressured about surgery. Well...take care....and keep me posted on what you decide to do. I will let you know the day that I think the Chantix is working...lol. hopefully by the end of next week I will notice a total difference in my urges to smoke.
Hey Scrappi,

First of all, I started on my second week of the Chantix...its an increased dosage...didnt go too well..UGH. I puked it up within 30 minutes....but HOPEFULLY i can better coat my stomach tonight when I take it again. I did eat for the one this morning...but....apparently...not good enough...lol.

I got a copy of the report from the neurosurgeon today...it states that there was decreased right ankle jerk, and the right calf muscle is slightly soft upon examination. Not good, huh? Still havent heard anything about physical therapy.

How have you been doing these last few days?
Hi Ladybug,

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to reply. I'm just going through a tough time right now and everytime I tell myself things couldn't possibly get worse, they do...lol...that's life for ya, hun? I can explain what I mean more indepth tomorrow, I just wanted to post and let you know that I didn't forget about you...you're my lifesaver...lol...my understanding online friend...my family and friends (what's left of them after 2 years of me having back problems/chronic pain and not being able to go out and about at a moments notice) are tired of me having back problems, they want me to be normal...gee, I want that too...I guess you can say I feel alone sometimes and on top of that I'm still trying to get use to the fentanyl patch and its side effects, which are mainly nausea and drowsiness...I'm also dealing with new back pain that I'm trying not to acknowledge, in hopes it'll go away and not become another damaged disc...I can't have another disc go bad right now, I already have too many, the main culprit being L1-L2. I need to start looking for a new surgeon before that disc gets too bad and causes additional damage...is that possible? Just a bad mental day :D.

How is the Chantix working? I hope well.

I will post again tomorrow, when I'm feeling better and give you a better update...like I previously said, I didn't want you to think I forgot about you b/c I could never forget about my best online back buddie :D.

Hey Scrappi,

Im sooo sorry to hear about your rough days. :( I completely understand how you feel. I feel deserted too by most of my friends. Some dont even want me discussing my back issues.....they are tired of hearing about it...(like im not tired of living it!!!)..but its times like this when you find out who your real friends are....but it also makes you afraid to mention it to anyone...so you just start keeping everything to yourself and pretend that you are doing ok. So I definitely understand where you are coming from. I know what you mean about adjusting to medications and dealing with their side effects. Im doing quite well on the Chantix....been on it for almost 2 full weeks now....just hate/dread taking them. The nausea is rough....but have learned to not take them until I am capable of laying down immediately and being able to lay still for at least 1.5 hours til it passes. I take one in the am and one at night....so imagine...getting up....eating something to coat your stomach....then taking meds...then going straight back to laying down so that you dont get sick! lol. But...it is working/helping. Im smoking an average of 4 a day...have been doing that for about 3 days now.....compared to 1/2 pack to 1 pack a day. (I go outside to smoke...so depending on the weather, depends on how much I smoke in a day). I was hoping that tomorrow would be my quit date...but it was closer than I thought...so I didnt allow myself that much time. If I stay on this route though, I feel pretty good that within a couple of weeks...I will be done...maybe sooner than that.

I hope you dont have another bad disc!!! Bless your heart!! You just cant seem to catch a break can you?? I have been doing ok....ups and downs...but the worst of the last week was the other morning...when I woke up, I found that I had layed flat on my back..and could not move to turn over...it hurt like heck to move....I was stuck!!!! I just about had to holler for my hubby to come roll me over...but I kept working with it until I was able to roll over. I got a letter in the mail last Friday....they had scheduled my surgery for June 5th!! But I called and cancelled....for one...Im not ready...and for two...my girls will not get out of school until the 9th. If I do it, I want it to be near the end of summer break so that we can have time to do family things. My hubby told me to go ahead and schedule it, since I pretty much wont have a choice in the matter. But Im gonna hold off as long as wc will allow me to! Im gonna make them wait like they made me!! haha.

Well...I hope the days ahead will start looking up for you!! I think about you everyday...and I worry when I dont hear from you!! Just try to keep hanging in there..I know its hard..I really understand your pain, your frustration, your loneliness..I really do. But Little E makes life worth living....so you gotta keep hangin in there for that little guy! He loves his mommy and needs her. I hope to hear from you soon. Take care....and my prayers are with you.
[FONT="Arial Narrow"][SIZE="3"]Hello Ladybug :wave:,

I'm sorry I've taken too long to reply. I appreciate your support and all of your words of encouragement...you always make me feel so much better, thank you! I hate having days when I feel down, and it seems like I have more down days lately than good days...I just hate it! I think I have many down days b/c reality is setting in...I am sure that I will have back problems and chronic pain for the rest of my life, and I'm pretty sure I will never have another baby...atleast I have 1 happy, healthy child...oh well, I need to get over it and be happy with what God has blessed me with. I do think that someone truly does NOT understand how we feel until they've been where we have...I oftentimes get the feeling people think I'm just lazy and use my bad back as an excuse to get out of a lot of things...I wish that was the case, all my problems would be solved...lol.

I hope I don't have another damaged disc but it wouldn't surprise me if I did...I probably do...I do have DDD and from what I've learned about it, it sounds like once it rears its ugly head there's no stopping it...you keep having problem after problem...joy, joy...I'm hoping if I find a good surgeon that I can trust to fuse L1, I'll be able to take a long break before I have to worry about treating any other back problems.

Did wc schedule your surgery for June 5th or was it the neuro's office? Why did they schedule it without talking to you first? That's not very professional, it sounds like something wc would try to pull...they sound like they operate alot like my former pain mgmt doctor did - they treat you inhumanely, they act as if they're herding cattle instead of treating patients...hmmm, ya know what? Actually that sounds like most doctors...lol.

I think sleeping flat on my back for any amount of time is extremely painful...I just hate it when I wake up and realize I've done it...I know exactly what you mean...it's terrible, you feel like you're going to die right then and there!

Is the Chantix still working well? How is the nausea, has it eased up any? Are you still trying to diet now too? If you manage to stop smoking and lose weight at the same time, you could easily become a bestselling author...lol...then you could really win your wc case b/c it'd make no difference to you if they were still dragging their feet or not, you'd be sitting back, rolling in the money from your book deal...lol...wouldn't that be the life? On a serious note, I do think if you can do both..stop smoking and lose weight..you could do anything, which I already know is possible b/c you live day after day with terrible pain and so far you're still sane.

I don't think the days ahead are going to start looking up for me, atleast anytime soon, but I'm going to take everday one at a time and wish for the best...the good news is I have a toddler who has recently started talking really well, so while I'm waiting for the good days to come along, I'm going to sit back and enjoy all he has to say b/c I know I'll never get the chance to experience toddlerhood again...yes, I am very thankful God gave me Little E :).

How are you doing Ladybug? I hope you've been doing great.

Take care,
Hey Scrappi,

You are certainly welcome! Thats what Im here for!! ;)
Ive been having alot of depressing days myself lately. Tired of sitting in the house, but nothing to do that Im able to do. Reality keeps smacking me in the face every so often...and it really doesnt help matters! I am in the process of attempting to plan something for the family over the summer....but figuring it out is the pits! Im considering Dollywood/Pigeon Forge...never been there and have always wanted to go. BUT...theres nothing much in Dollywood for me...and just to walk in the gates...with a family of 4...we'd have to fork out $200...and right off the bat $100 would be wasted, because neither me nor hubby can ride rides (they dont give discounts to those who cant or dont want to ride rides)...so I just dont know!! Then all the walking on the concrete....can you imagine the pain Id be in?? But, Im considering going with it and just making that sacrifice for my girls. There really isnt anything else out there to do, most definitely now that I have limitations. And I definitely agree with you...ppl who doesnt deal with back issues do make you feel that you are faking just to get out of doing something....or to get attention or whatever. If they only knew!! I wouldnt wish this on anyone....but Id have to say "i told you so" when their backs go out on them! for me....alot of limitations i put on myself..not so much due to pain...but fear of aggravating things and having it flare up...or making the injury in itself worse...when I first got hurt..man oh man..i will NEVER forget it!! i could stand childbirth a heck of a lot better than that! so fearing going through that intense pain again...im scared to do alot of things. as far as you saying that you will never have another child..never say never! if its in Gods plans for you.....it will happen...maybe even when you arent expecting it! I hope you dont have another bad disc either. But yeah, thats the way I understand it with DDD too.

Im not sure who scheduled the surgery..Im thinking the surgeons office. I know when I was there, he was wanting me to get it penciled in right then..and I asked if it could wait til June...and he said yeah. So, Im figuring thats why they scheduled it for June. But I thought they would wait on me to call them! Im STILL waiting for pt to be scheduled...lol...so I wasnt going to schedule the surgery until Ive had that done!! lol.

Yeah, sleeping on my back, or my right side is horribly painful. But, Im a deep sleeper, so I dont know it until I wake up that Ive slept on those areas. It is horrible trying to move first thing in the morning after I have though!

Yeah the Chantix is great!!! Im still smoking 4 a day...BUT...im not wanting them as often though. Its almost 1 am..and I just smoked my 4th one of the day. Theres alot of space in between them...and I dont really even think about smoking anymore. Each day, they taste nastier and nastier..so, if I had to bet on it now...Id say that by the end of this month, I will be totally done with them!! Id say within two weeks....but, I want to make sure I allow plenty of time to wean myself completely off of them. I feel very confident with as well as I have been doing. As long as I lay down immediately after taking them, I dont get near as nauseaous, if at all...so thats how Ive handled that one! lol. Yes, Im still working on losing weight. Very slow process..but determined. I "diet" 5 days a week and allow myself to eat a decent meal and splurge some 2 days a week. that way Im not totally depriving myself of the great pleasures in life...LOL. kinda like "praising" myself for doing so well during those 5 days. Sunday, Im gonna start walking with this guy from my girls church. Hes divorced, and ready to start dating again, but feels insecure about his weight and wants to lose 50 pounds before dating again. So, me to help him...him to help me..to stay committed and focused..we have agreed to walk every single day that it isnt raining starting on Sunday (its gonna be raining tomorrow). So that will be another plus on helping me lose the weight....as well as strengthen my legs some. LOL...yeah I guess I could write a book if I manage to accomplish both goals at the same time, huh? Everyone thinks Im crazy for trying to do both tasks at the same time...but...I know that most former smokers packs on the weight....I cant afford to put on anymore...and dont have time to waste to lose the weight first, then work on quitting smoking....so Im gonna be strong and fight both problems at once!! lol.

I hate to hear that you dont think things will look up for you anytime soon. Thats just so sad to hear. But you know, I think I done something to mine. I mopped last week, and shortly after, I noticed a difference...and it has persisted. When sneezing or coughing, I get that shooting pain down my leg...which hasnt happened in a long time with coughing/sneezing....and more burning/pain is present. So Im thinking that the disc might have slipped out a touch further. But, its still tolerable...Im not dyin just yet..lol. Im considering going ahead and scheduling the surgery...either early August..or late October...cant make up my mind which. That will give me plenty of time to make up my mind...and yet, wc cant fuss or say anything for me not attempting to have the surgery. The way Im looking at it...they havent been in a big hurry to get me fixed....so why should I be in a big hurry to race to surgery??!!! Ive dealt with it this long...and have kept my sanity (barely..lol)..so as long as Im not totally miserable...Im going to procrastinate just as they did. My girls preacher is having back surgery next week....so am also waiting to see how that goes....lol. That might help me make up my mind even better..lol.

Well, am glad to hear that Little E is starting to talk up a storm! Thats just so precious.....but as with anything else...some days you are gonna be saying "will you please hush!!"...lol..You know how we just couldnt wait for them to crawl and walk....but once they did..it was "please sit still for 5 minutes!!"..lol oh what I wouldnt give to be back in those days again!! Toddlers are alot of fun!! lol. Well...take care..and I hope that you have brighter days ahead of you. I will be saying my prayers tonight just for you!
[FONT="Arial Narrow"][SIZE="3"]Hello Ladybug,

I didn't receive my medical records in the mail today :rolleyes:, and I can't say I'm too surprised...the assistant obviously told me what I wanted to hear to get me off the phone...I plan to wait until after April 30th to call the practice back, then I won't be forced to deal with the assistant, I can deal with someone new and in addition to obtaining my records, maybe I can request to have my file transferred to another neurosurgeon within the practice...I'll have to wait and see...I stopped having expectations or hope a long time ago, it makes disappointments easier to deal with.

I'm sorry to hear you've been experiencing more than your fair share of depressing days too...what a pair we make...we are depressed, crippled back buddies! Maybe the turn in the weather will change our moods...I hope so b/c being down sucks, I know some people think depressed people enjoy being down but I absolutely hate it...I am normally a calm, laid back, happy go lucky, easy to please gal and now even my son looks at me like I've grown a third head, not b/c I'm mean or yell at him but b/c I'm quiet, too quiet, he's old enough to realize I've been sad lately...I even try my best to be my old happy self all day long when it's just me and him at home and I'm taking care of him...kids are too smart. I really NEED to find a TOP NOTCH neuro or ortho surgeon to fix me and then I'll work on the other problems in my life so I can say ADIOS to this depression once and for all!

I can't believe Dollywood doesn't have some kind of discount for temporarily crippled people (like you) who can't ride the rides. That's not fair! I do think it would be torture to even go...and then to walk around all day long...have you asked your girls if they want you to do that for them? Maybe they would not want you to make that kind of a sacrifice for them, knowing the pain you deal with everyday.

Are you still doing good on the Chantix? It sounds like it works well...I will have to let my sister know the name of it, she has been a smoker for about 20 years now and she needs to stop.

I'm going to ask you an odd question that you may or may not have thought about before. Do you think your husband (or for that matter, other family members and friends) truly want you to get 100% better so you can resume your life as it was prior to your injury? Or do you think they have redefined themselves at your expense, by becoming the person you needed them to be while you were injured and disabled, and now they can not or do not want to go back being who they were before your injury ocurred?

I'll talk to you more later.

Take care,
Hey Scrappi,

Im sooo sorry that the office has treated you that way. Sure sounds suspicious to me that she suddenly "found" your records after you making a threat to talk to your attorney! Aint that something! But at least that one dr. is out of that office..not to say that its going to make it any better. Honestly, the way they are doing you over your records...I personally wouldnt want anything to do with their practice! Im not sure that Id give them til the 30th...Id say next Thursday will have given them a reasonable time frame to get the records to you. Im considering going ahead with the surgery....what have I really got to lose??? Either way, Im gambling...and given that Im having to give up so much in the condition that Im in now, I know that I would always wonder if I could have/would have gone back to a normal life if I wouldve have it done. Both the 2nd opinion dr and the surgeon did say that if I had the surgery, I stand the chance of living life normal again. Its still very scary....and as they say "you have nothing to fear except fear itself".....and its going to drive me crazy to continue fearing the surgery, and never knowing if I can or ever will return to a normal life again. Im not ready to commit to a date just yet...as Im STILL waiting on therapy appts. but, in the meantime, I started back to walking today. I walked 2 miles (I have a sincere walking buddy now!!)...I HAVE to do something since these fools arent going to...and knowing that my right calf muscle has slightly softened..I cannot afford for it to continue deteriorating. My leg has flared up definitely since walking today....burning...and leg pain. But Im hoping that the philosophy of "no pain, no gain" will be effective in my situation, instead of making me worse. Im going to suffer it out as long as I possibly can, I HAVE to!! these fools are gonna cause me to shrivel up to nothing (muscle wise anyway....weight wise..I have NOTHING to worry about there, apparently...LOL) So up until today...pain level has stayed around 3-4. Now its about a 7-8. but Im hanging in there.

Yes, there is a difference between neurologists and neurosurgeons. Neurologists deals with primarily like seizure disorders, things of that nature.

yeah it does suck about dollywood...but it plainly states in their FAQ's, that they do not have a limited activity ticket, that they do not break it down for people that has disabilities or dont want to ride rides. that really is unfair...but, i dont think i would enjoy it at this time anyway. my girls are very understanding, and even though they told me that its crazy to pay that kind of money knowing we wouldnt get full use out of it, i told them that sometimes, i just HAVE to make those sacrifices..that i cant continue allowing my injury to affect their lives. all i can say is that for the ones that doesnt have back injuries or other injuries.....enjoy EVERYTHING about life that you can...while you can!!! people just have no idea how much of life is taken away from them once they get an injury...and they have no idea WHEN it will happen to them!! but since my last message...we have decided against themed park vacations...and are just gonna do something light..like maybe tour washington dc...never been there...would never have chosen that as a vacation spot...but.....have very little choices out there.

Family wise, I feel in my heart that they do wish that I was "normal" again. For many reasons. My husband finally realized last night just how bad it is for me. For the first time in YEARS, we went to a movie...he hears me say all the time that I cant sit in most chairs....but...he has never witnessed me being in any chair except for at home.....which doesnt affect me near as bad as office chairs, movie theater chairs, etc. at least in my home chairs..i can stand up straight without a hassle. it burns and hurts while im sitting...but i can handle that anyday over the pain that i endure trying to get up out of chairs outside of the house. So because we dont go out like that, he honestly thought that I "am fine"....but after 1.5 hours in the theater....I could not move to get out of that place!!! It was pure torture...it was forget the pain in the back, not able to stand up straight...but it literally feels like it takes extreme effort to move my legs....such baby steps. Its not only painful...but embarrassing as heck! So, I think he understands it much better now. He has back pain, etc...but its never affected him in the manner that it just totally cripples him to get out of a chair. Sure it hurts him to sit for periods of time, but just the leg pain and aching back and stiffness...thats the extent of his pain. but its like my back just totally locks up, swells up, or whatever...i cant explain it...i just know that i cant stand up straight and its very painful to ease myself into that standing position. if it wouldnt make me drowsy, etc..id load up on anti-inflammatories prior to sitting, to see if that would make a difference. but i obviously cant do that, since its chairs outside the home that makes me stiff like that. i dont understand it....a chair is a chair...but obviously, its not. i need a new recliner...i can sit in the one i have..but we went out one night not long ago to find a new one...but after 5 minutes...i was done...the first one was all that it took to flare things up...so i couldnt tell after that if any would have worked for me or not. so how am i supposed to shop for furniture??? LOL. as far as my girls....lol...yeah they want their "old mommy back"...lol. they were never required to help with housework or cooking before i got hurt. that was the ONLY good thing about this happening...they learned how to clean house!!! lol. i like things done a certain way...and no one can clean the house like i like it....so i never wanted them to help. all they had to do was keep their rooms straight and presentable...i done the rest. but they also hate it for me that my life sucks to where im so very limited. friends....im sure they dont want me to be in pain and would like to see me normal again....but it hasnt affected their lives....so honestly....i dont really think it majorly matters to them. im sure it matters to a point, but not to where they would do anything or give anything to see me normal again. friend wise...i just personally feel that more than anything...they wished that i would never bring up the pain and how its affected my life. i dont know...i just get the feeling that they are thinking "oh boy, here we go again, we get to listen to the back problems again"...so i always TRY to not mention it...but sometimes...it does get hard to keep it out of the picture..you know?? why did you ask that??? now..i will ask you to answer the same questions..lol. as far as Little E...you have one very slight "advantage"....hes so young, that this is what he will know...so he hasnt had to "make changes and adjustments" to your "new life". so im sure he will be perfectly ok with life as he knows it. it will seem "normal" to him. thats just my personal opinion, based upon my situation...with my girls knowing/seeing the changes that ive had to make, and that they have had to make, it has affected them...but then again...it has allowed them to be the "teenagers" that they would like to be...going to movies or bowling or whatever...with their friends without "dear old mom" insisting on chaperoning, etc...lol. but that doesnt mean that they get to be wild and crazy either...lol. im not there to physically watch them...but they have restrictions...who they can go with, and what time they are expected to be home.

the chantix is GREAT!! i was down to 3 a day...didnt really want the 3rd one..so dont know why i had it..lol...just being stupid i guess...lol..but...i had a very bad day on tuesday...just badly depressed.....so was not able to sleep at all that night until 7 the next morning. that threw me off track..and due to sleeping...i forgot to take it when i did get up, and didnt remember to take the night pill either....definitely a booo boooo!!! i ended up smoking quite a bit on wednesday....i no longer had that "nasty" taste when i smoked....like i got while taking the meds....so i smoked more. im back on track today, as far as meds....but, the nasty taste hasnt totally come back yet..getting there...so even though i smoke less than i did yesterday...im not back down to where i was. so that was enough to let me know that i CANT come off the chantix anytime soon..and that it DOES DEFINITELY work!!! i have 2 full packs left..once those are gone...i will NOT buy anymore...i should be at the point by then to HATE them...and not be tempted to buy more.

well....hopefully these sunny warm days will help to brighten your spirits...(i guess you are having those days...lol)...its been sunny and beautiful here the last couple of days..upper 70's! but that was well deserved!!! we had several days of rainy/cool weather....3 inches of rain...in a few days. very much needed rain. well...take care...
[FONT="Arial Narrow"][SIZE="3"]Hello Ladybug,

How are you doing? I'm okay, getting down about some things I have no control over but that's nothing new I guess...lol. I don't have much time to post but I wanted to write and let you know I'm still here...I also wanted to make sure you hadn't gone crazy and signed up for any marathons...lol...I really wish we were neighbors, I guess cyber neighbors will have to do...lol...I have a lot of things to catch you up on so I plan to start a new thread tomorrow when I have more time to post...I'll let you know tomorrow when I post and start the new thread.

I hope walking is getting easier for you. I can't imagine walking as much as you are and having basically no pain meds to take once I was done...I know how much you probably hurt afterwards...silly girl, slow down...lol...if you don't cut down on your walking, you're going to be crippled before they have time to do your surgery. I wonder why the delay in scheduling your PT? Times in the past when my doctor has recommended PT, the PT place is calling me before I get home from my doctor's appt...so it looks like the delay is once again caused by wc...I think they should be happy you're requesting more PT but what do I know...lol.

I can't believe you're eating so little calories but not really losing, it has to be your thyroid, doesn't it? Did your GP assure you it's safe to eat so few calories? I want to make sure you're not harming yourself. I'm glad you're having success with the Chantix...your dad must be so proud of you :angel:.
I really think something has changed in my back b/c the burning has increased to stabbing, intense burning pain...great, that's all I need...lol...what a life.

I'll talk to you tomorrow. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Take care,

Hey Scrappi!!

LOL...i love readin your posts!! i really wish we were neighbors too!! no i havent gone crazy and signed up for a marathon yet. :D but, instead of goin to the park twice a day now to walk....we are walkin the 4 miles all at once..double WHEW!!!! it does hurt in my back...oh i get soooooooooo stiff to where i have to stop quite often and just lean forward. and go into spasms getting back into the van....but, im alive....im gettin out of the house....and im building up my muscles. im now SLOWLY started to lose some weight....have lost about 4 pounds now. so thats encouraging. i had my thyroid checked last year and it was fine. but i didnt start losing until we started doing the 4 miles at once....so who knows! but yeah, my dr told me that as long as i got my fiber and protein, calories dont matter. i dont feel weak or anything, so i guess im doin alright. haha.

i have been down and depressed for a few months now....but i have decided that im going to start living life again and quit driving myself and everyone else insane. pain or not...i have to get out of the house and be a human again...or im just gonna waste the last half of my life if i continue to give in to the pain and not do the things that i enjoy doing.

i got the call from my attorneys office on wed that wc has approved therapy....but STILL waiting for someone to call and get it set up. yeah, the surgeons office gave me an rx for therapy to take to them, and told me that they would get me an appt within 24 hours of me calling them...but i told them that it was wc that i cant set the appt myself that they have to go through wc.........so yeah...its wc thats causing the delay....but i got tired of waiting on them to do anything for me...thats why i took the approach to start walking myself....so by the time they actually do get to me....i will have had a month head start on getting my muscles ready.

im still doing really good with the chantix...and yeah, i think my dad is smilin!
i havent quit yet, but really dont think im too far from accomplishin that goal.

im soooooo sorry to hear that the burning and all has been really bad for you. that just really bums me out to hear that. what are you gonna do??? im really sad for you.......i wish i could offer words of encouragement...but i dont know what to say! it seems no matter what....you are getting the raw end here. its not fair at all. we are all here for you to vent to...just always remember that. take care and may God bless you.