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Sexual Health - Men board


I'm going to guess that if you've only been married two years, you're a young guy, and low testosterone is usually (not always) something that happens as we get older. If you're able to have oral sex (or masturbate, as most of us still do even when we're married) your systems are almost certainly still go.

This sounds more like performance anxiety to me, or as you describe it, "that sinking feeling." At penetration time, you start worrying that you won't be able to get (or stay) hard, and it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy--you think you can't, therefore you can't.

I'd advise you to just relax, but that's more easily said than done. I know--I went through a bout of this myself a long time ago, when I couldn't get erect one time and imagined that it was a permanent condition. My wife got me through it with patience, sympathy, and some imaginative love play, and the problem is now a distant memory. "Relaxing" my way through it on my own wouldn't have worked--the fear of not being able to get it up is too deep in the male psyche.

I would get that testosterone check, just in case. But if you have a sympathetic doc, and you're not too embarrassed to talk frankly about the problem, you might ask him for a sample packet of one of the erectile-dysfunction pills like Viagra or Cialis. (Most docs have samples on hand, thanks to aggressive promoting by the big drug companies.) If there's nothing physically wrong, a little physical stimulation, i.e., foreplay, will get you rock hard and ready for action. My guess is that all you need is a success or two and that you'll be fine before you run out of the freebies.