Hola Chaswick, sorry so slow to respond. My Internet has been down for the count.
Funny, you all say the Actiq is short acting. They wouldn't let me have it but one every 8 hours! It would stop working quickly but I didn't wanna appear as an abuser so I just dealt with it. Now that I'm nearly 4 days off of it, cold turkey I might add, I have to say I'm not dieing BUT I have had a heckuva lot of (and pardon me here) the "runs" and feeling just generally like I'd been hit by a truck! Now that I'm coming out on the other side of it, however, I'm glad I've had this time to regroup and really get to the nitty gritty of where my pain is at. I've continued to take the Combunox that was prescribed (which could very well be the reason I haven't been as bad off as when I've gone "cold turkey" before). It's not great but it's better than nothing.
I've recently been made aware of some Medtronic Pain Pump. I entertained that idea really hard this week but today, I'm having a change of heart. I just can't imagine that the pump is going to make me any better off. I build tolerances QUICK and I just think it'll be the same deal. AND with that, it'd be implanted in my body; not an idea I'm really embracing.
I'm struggling but to be brutally honest, I'm learning a great deal about mind over matter and I'm trying REALLY hard to get my physical faults in check. The pain levels suck sometimes but I really am seeing now, I was just as bad off while ON the Actiq as OFF.
I'm trying to take what is happening as a lesson that I'm being sent in another direction. Whether that's true or not, guess I won't know for a while.
I can say definitively, however, that living in pain is beyond challenging and to all of us here who are having to do it, I say, "God give us strength to make it" To you all I say, "Let's hang in there!!" :)