Discussions that mention dopamine

Addiction & Recovery board


I am new to posting things here. This is my first ever to publicy tell this. (only my husband, and a few relatives & friends know this)
I am knee deep in my addiction to Vicodin. I have been taking them STEADILY (meaning havent ran out but ONCE since April of this year)
I get 120 (10mg) from my doc.
So, I take roughly 3,000mg of Vicodin a month. In EXCESS of 12 pills a day.
I tried going C/T a couple of months ago and it was PURE HELL. I made it 4 days before I caved in.
My husband is very supportive of me. However, we have 3 absolutely GOREGOUS little girls, ages 2 1/2, 6 and 8. I have already lost a really good job, and have screwed up our bills and accounts by spending most of our bill money on my addiction.
Therefore, I have made the decision AGAIN to QUIT THIS S***. My father told me off a DETOX center in town that is FREE. He was once in the adjacent building and has seen with his own eyes how people have gone in 9 kinds of F* up and came out DRIED OUT. Said they keep them sedated or something. WHICH I PREFER! And I dont even have to disclose why. Those of you who have been through the W/D completely understand. I dont know how long my stay will be, or what is going to happen to me. If my husband didnt have to work day & night to take care of our family because of the damage that I have done, I would go C/T and W/D AT HOME! But, that is not a luxury. I have asked my father to come stay at my house over Christmas break and take care of our 3 girls. I am SCARED TO DEATH of this.
I have researched ALL OVER the internet for ANYONE who has OVERCOME this (aside from the RICH & FAMOUS) and found nothing. I want to know what life is like AFTER the W/D. When do you get your energy back? When does one's brain start producing NATURAL dopamine & endorphins instead of tearing at every limb & organ trying to find the opiates?
Also, is there ANY advice on WHAT TO DO between NOW & THEN when I check myself into DETOX that could HELP me?
I dont know you guys, but after 2 weeks of reading stuff on here, I want you all to know that I love you guys for being here to support one another!
GOD BLESS US ALL