Discussions that mention emsam

Bipolar Disorder board


Hi all-
I was diagnosed as bipolar II about 2 weeks ago when I was in the hospital (psych unit). From what I was told the diagnosis came based on many factors, of course lability of moods and all, but the fact that I have been resistant to every single antidepressant I've tried. (Total of 5) I believe the latest one I was on, EMSAM, actually made my depression 200x worse, and drove me to the hospital. I also started noticing extreme and rapid mood swings while on EMSAM, which only become MORE prominent and predictable after I went off of it. Someone needs to be sued???

Anyway, I now take Abilify and Tegretol at bedtime, along with Ativan for anxiety, which I have been taking for almost a year.

I've found that my manic phases, or hypomanic, I think, because I don't (or haven't yet) experienced true mania, involve spending exorbitant amounts of money...just swiping that checkcard like I have an endless supply...I see it, I want it, I have to have it...extreme talkativeness, and I'm usually very socially anxious, high confidence levels, driving faster, multi-tasking, raging hormones (if you know what I mean ladies...but they're just thoughts), tendency to crave alcohol (I will only drink white wine though), and a feeling of CLARITY, which I love because my brain has been in a fog for years. More recently, my energy levels seem to have increased, along with my irritability and creative energy. For instance, this morning I woke up at 8 a.m. and felt like running 35 laps around our house. I turned on loud and fast music. I had the sudden urge to paint. I HAD to paint, and I was racing through the house, tearing up every other room in search of the paints. When I couldn't find a brush, I got extremely frustated. I was in the basement looking for the paint and started to practice my ballet. Finally got all of my supplies and ran up to my room and just went at it for at least an hour. If someone yelled into my ear I probably wouldn't have leapt an inch. I was in another world, and it felt GREAT.

I've had a lot of days like this. (with 2 depressive days thrown in, unexplainable crying, feeling hopeless again...)

My only complaint is that by the middle of the day, I am exhausted. I felt like I have expended all of my physical and mental energy by 11:00. Could it be the meds or the fact that I am in hyperdrive??

One more complaint-parents. They refuse to accept the diagnosis, (they never even admitted I had depression) won't even say the word, and will not even read literature I give to them. Half of the time it feels like they're looking at me as if I have 5 heads. I am a person, and I wish they would treat me as such.

I would appreciate some insight into everyone else's experiences. Thank you so much. Be well!