Discussions that mention hydrocodone

Addiction & Recovery board

[FONT="Book Antiqua"][SIZE="5"][SIZE="3"][COLOR="blue"]Hiya,

Got sober in May 2003.

Alcohol -- had only used street-drugs recreationally and that had long since stopped before I crashed and burned with alcohol NOT that I can use anythihg as an addict I FULLY ascribed to the fact that a drug is a drug PERIOD).

In January 2006 had neck surgery -- was complete success and NO PAIN but pain meds, for the first time in my life, was intoduced to (drum role please) ... HYDROCODONE ... Used it for over a year -- amount limted by access BUT used it to get HIGH as I, in no way, needed it (and I knew this). I finally quit, it was a terrible withdrawal, but my life got much better, my mood improved, my apathy lifted, etc. I was THRILLED to be "out from under" and didn't struggle after a shirt while.

ANYWAY, this past October (2007) I got a hand infection, actually painful, 3 surgeries, etc. HOWEVER, in addition to hydrocodone and all the other pain meds while IN the hospital - this is when I met (even LOUDER drum role please) ... OXYCODONE which my doctor felt was better as it was long-acting. It may be long-acting but my use was NOT.

So, since October, for the most part, I have been on hydrocodone and oxycodone even though the pain is LONG gone. I've been using it to get high.

So, Wednesday night was my last dose (cold turkey even though I had some to taper but could NOT manage it and used all of it, the self-respecting drug addict that I am -- grimace) so I guess this is Day 4. They say 3 and 4 is the worst, I'm not sure.

But, friends, not surehow we (I) end up back here. I am not "down" on myself, just sorta startled and perplexed with all I KNOW AND having gone through a terrible withdrawal TWICE (second time was when they had me on IV pain meds EVERY 2 HOURS while hospitalized and then just duped me out the door) why on EARTH I danced right back in to the trap ...

Anyway, maybe this is sharing my expereince strength and hope, maybe this is me whining, maybe both ... I don't know ... I love the 'recovery' part of being an addict (many folks have life-long issues not as obvious that enevr get addressed and for which there are no support groups) but HATE the drug and the "addict-thinking" etc.


Jessica [/FONT]