Discussions that mention hydrocodone

Addiction & Recovery board

It started Thursday morning when I got up and found my 12 yr old cat had died a few hours before I got up. I knew it was coming because he was diabetic and I'd been giving him insulin and spent thousands keeping him alive the past 6 yrs. I decided to stop his insulin and let nature take it's course. I have other cats that need vet attention. He was laying on my living room floor eyes open, still warm. I called my husband at work and he said he was still hanging in there & petted him for awhile before leaving for work a few hours before I got up. Needless to say, I was a crying mess. I couldn't call out of work because we had 2 people out on vacation already and were swamped. I went into work, crying and with the start of the most awful headache I've ever had. It was relentless, not matter what I took. I could not sleep or eat for 2 days all the while working with it at a frantic pace with over time. It was horrible.

So, I got up with the same blazing headache this morning after about 3 hrs sleep and simply could not take it anymore. Went to an express care and got 20 Lortab for the culprit - tension headache. So, now I have my old beast and buddy, hydrocodone. Finally....no more headache! I ate for the first time in days and actually felt pretty good. Hubby and I went out in the boat and i
relaxed, enjoyed the sunset, stars and a beautiful full moon on a clear calm night. I've taken 2 Lortab every six hours and have to say I've felt the best I've felt in some time.

That's the problem. I know I need them right now, but probably, with some luck, won't need them maybe even tomorrow. Ohh, but they'll call my name.
I know in my head exactly how many I have and will obsess over them until they're gone. I won't be able to leave them alone and hold onto them for another pain event like normal people. For me, when they're gone, they're gone. I don't have access to them so no worries of a physical addiction. Am I glad I got them? Yeah. My head doesn't hurt anymore and I feel good. But I also feel bad. I am an addict.