Discussions that mention lidoderm

Pain Management board

Well you all might recall I posted some two months ago about going off Kadian after being on morphine for some 4 years. It was a personal decision for me due to the extensive drowsiness and fog created by regularly increased levels of morphine over the last year.

The first month was fantastic. The doc put me on Vicodin HP (double strength). I felt so alive, was thinking clearly and had very minimal pain ironically. Then this month started...

I can barely walk now, my lumbar is screaming with burning searing pain, my neck is barely moving at times and the knee I thought didn't need a replacement really looks like it needs one. I haven't called the doctor, I see him next week, so I've been trying to cope via any means I can (meditation, biofeedback, tens unit, rest and lidoderm patches).

Mornings are the pits. I see my hip doctor in two weeks to be sure that my hip isn't the cause of my back problem or vice versa. I have an appointment with a back doctor to simply double check my c-spine to be sure the broken screw hasn't moved or that the herniations didn't grow. I also need my lumbar checked as it hasn't been checked in some 5 years. I know I'm herniated from L1-L5.

I started college classes, only two, that I do so enjoy. I do feel a bit more clear headed but the pain brings me down fast. So here I am in a pickle. My PM will gladly put me back on Morphine but this is the first time in over 4 years I slept soundly through the night and didn't need 20 naps a day. I've tried Methadone and Fentanyl. He does not prescribe Oxy due to the severe abuse of it in our area. I just don't know what to do here.

It's been quite depressing (seeing my psych too, time for a med check). I don't want to go back into that fog that I was in for so many years without realizing it but I also can't go on suffering like this anymore either. I'm trying to be "strong" I am, but some days I feel like giving up (no not suicidal at all) and saying put me back on the big guns. I'm torn to pieces.

I don't personally feel I was at a high enough level of morphine to justify a pump and I don't know that my doctor even goes that route. I'm to the point of needing the wheelchair again just to get from point A to point B and I hate it. Maybe I'm being too stubborn but I've gotten a "taste" of feeling alive again and everyone has noticed how incredibly changed I am it's such a sad thought to think I have to go back to it again.

Any thoughts or suggestions would be really helpful. Maybe I'm missing something I can't see.

Thank you for listening