Discussions that mention lortab

Addiction & Recovery board


I don't know if you even remember me Reach, it has been a long time, and Ready, you have never even met me, but I need you advice now. My short story is I suffer from severe post partum depression and severe migraines. Unfortunately, I am allergic to Imitrex and all those medications used to treat migraines, so my physician prescribed Lortab for them. For a long time, I only used it as prescribed, no problems. But then I had my fourth baby, the post partum depression hit hard, and my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and everything was falling apart. I kept using as prescribed until my baby was about one (the oldest was only 6) and my father (my rock in my life) was given less than a year to live. The depression worsened and the migraines came so frequently that I felt I was doing the worst job as a wife and mother as any one ever could. And that's when I finally noticed the effects of the Lortab. Not only did it take the migraines away, but it made me stop crying. It helped me get my housework done and take care of my kids. It helped me to be strong and take my dad to his last radiation appts and tell him and my mom when there was less than a month left.

Needless to say I became addicted, and addicted hard. By November of that year I was up to 30 pills a day to keep things together. And then my husband and my physician found out. They sent me to a 30 day inpatient rehab last Jan/Feb and since then I have been doing, well, not so great. The depression and anxiety have been sky high, but I was afraid to tell anyone, because all they wanted to hear was that I was all better, and that I could take care of everyone again. Finally I broke down again in August and used again, and of course they found out. But this time I was honest and told them how things were really going. I got a good psychiatrist, and a wonderful clinical social worker/therapist who specializes in addiction, grief and depression counseling. So I was finally starting to make some progress, but still very fragile.

This week, on Wed. I was supposed to go on a trip to NY with some girlfriends for a much needed break. Unfortunately, it had my anxiety really going because I'm very afraid of flying, and I have never flown without getting a migraine. I made several attempts to speak with my family physician about anything we might be able to do to address this. I spoke with my therapist about it, who also told me to talk to my physician. But he didn't get back to me. And then here's where the problem comes in. I'm upset, not knowing how to handle it, so I start packing. And in the bottom of one of my drawers I come across a blank signed prescription from my physician. I had found it on his nurses desk over a year ago, and had taken it "just in case." Well, I had totally forgotten about it until now.

Well, you know what happened. The addiction totally took over, I filled in the prescription myself, took it to a pharmacy and filled it and came home. My thinking of course was, this gets me through the flights, and then I'm done, no more worries. Not so. The pharmacist called my physician b/c he didn't think the prescription looked right, of course my doctor said he didn't right it, and the pharmacy called the police.

I am so scared and ashamed and anxious that I can hardly breathe. I've never even had a speeding ticket. I have no idea what is going to happen. I did call an attorney friend who gave me the name of a criminal attorney who is going to call the police for me today and find out what is going to happen, but I am getting physically sick over this. I have considered suicide, but I can't do that to my babies, that wouldn't be fair to them. I just want to wake up from this bad dream. Please, anyone who is out there, I need help.

Bridget
Wow. That could potentionally be bad (the police). Was the prescription for someone else? I've done the same thing. But I never had a problem. My ex wife came back to florida fora visit and she had her boyfriends lortab script with her. I went and filled it myself (at the time i was addicted to codeine). I never had any problems. But I will be honest, I do know of a woman who got sentenced to 10 years in prison for writing false prescriptions for herself. Althoug you didnt write it, so you should be ok. Probably just send you back for a more extensive drug rehab and detox center. I hope everything works out for you. Pill addiction is hard. Right now my addiction is benzos (valium and xanax) and i still frequently take lortabs. Actually, I owe my boss 75 dollars for some lortabs he fronted me just a few days ago. Im not as addicted to the pain killers, but if I can get them.. I will. But im never on the hunt for them. If someone says they have some, I'll get them. I wouldnt call it an addiction, more like.. a "hobby" lol.
Hello, everyone. I am finally starting to calm down. My attorney says no news is good news, like you said wheninrome, I am small potatoes. I have been calling my therapist regularly, and I talked to my husband, and I am going to start an outpatient day program for depression/anxiety that will also address my addiction issues. I'm really pretty excited because it will actually be the first time I will have a support group for my depression, the root of the problem, and the thing I have the most trouble dealing with. It teaches things like biofeedback, how to teach your brain new ways to handle stress as opposed to the old negative routes like before. They address grief also, something I know I need to deal with. So although it is very hard for me to say this, maybe this was all a blessing in disguise. All I know is right now I am very tired of trying to hold everything together and not feeling well enough to do it. And no, I'm not coming off anything cold turkey, I haven't taken anything for a long time. I struggled with the depression and anxiety from post partum issues long before I ever started taking Lortab. The Lortab, I found out later, just exacerbated everything, even though I thought it was helping.

Once again, thank you so much everyone for posting. It helps so much to come on here and see your replies! Bridget
Maggie, thanks for posting. I'm allergic to imitrex, zomig, maxalt, midirin, all the triptans, elitriptans, etc. Horrible, huh, when you have migraines? I do use the advil liquigels, and they do give me some relief. But if you max out on those (12 a day) you can't have any tordol, too much of the ibuprofen like drugs for your kidneys then, and I have to watch my kidneys from a problem with my four pregnancies. I know I sound like a walking health bomb, I'm really not that bad! But now that my stress is decreasing and the last storm has gone through, I'm ok right now. I've also got so much friend and family support. No one is leaving me alone for a second. My physician has been talking to me daily also, he truly was sent from God for me, and we are handling the migraines and panic very carefully. Hopefully with the new group I'm going to go to that I mentioned in my last post, I really make some progress.

Question for all of you out there though, are you ever scared of living without your Lortab? Or whatever it was that you were using? I never really got that "high" from it, more like I just didn't get sad and panicky, I was peaceful and really together, and I'm so scared that now I'll always be this kind of nutcase. Don't get me wrong, I'm so afraid of it now I don't ever want to see it again, it's just that, I guess, I'm just as much afraid of me. Silly, huh?

Bridget
[QUOTE=bridgetmark;3263709]
Question for all of you out there though, are you ever scared of living without your Lortab? Or whatever it was that you were using? I never really got that "high" from it, more like I just didn't get sad and panicky, I was peaceful and really together, and I'm so scared that now I'll always be this kind of nutcase. Don't get me wrong, I'm so afraid of it now I don't ever want to see it again, it's just that, I guess, I'm just as much afraid of me. Silly, huh?

Bridget

First, that peaceful feeling and the non anxiety and no sadness, is a high. It is the euphoria from the narcotic that feels like a cure. WHen I first started out on my meds I was on Vicodin . I was pretty dependent on it looking back. Not only physically but mentally. I would take it in the beginning, and be able to clean my house, do my homework, work on the bills etc. It motivated me, helped me with my ADD and depression, and took away my social anxiety. I felt that it was a cure all for ALL of my problems and had even started researching if there was narcotic therapy for depression so I could find an excuse to stay on it forever! I felt like I was finally LIVING my life. I later learned that it was the pain that was causing my problems and when the drug helped the pain, I felt better. So I had to target CURING the pain if I ever was going to feel better. The drug is just meant to keep you living while you work on resolving your pain. It does make you feel great. But it doesn;t last. And then you are only taking it to feel normal! I didn;t think I would be able to live a normal life without it. I couldn;t imagine my life without it! I kept taking it even after my pain was manageable. I was afraid. But before I was diangnosed with cancer and was put on the stronger meds I am on today, I was hospitalized with a virus during which I they tapered me off all meds. I was so out of it, I don't remember a thing thank GOD. But a month later when I came to, so to speak, I was off the meds, mildly pain free and feeling GREAT. I lived without them for almost 4 months. I am thankful for that feeling because NOW I know it is possible and it makes my current taper a little easier to deal with psychologically since I am doing it while concious, on my own and off of a stronger med. Everyone on this board who has come off will tell you that they were able to feel normal and live without them when they thought they couldn't. Your body will adjust! You will be able to live without them. AND you will feel really good for it too.

Oh working out is supposed to help. I found out the narcotics store in your tissue so as you work out and release toxins, you will have bursts of euphoric feelings and eventually your body with start producing its own endorphines again and your cravings go away faster. Not sure if that is true but I start working out this weekend so I will report back! GOOD LUCK!
[QUOTE=bridgetmark;3263709]
Question for all of you out there though, are you ever scared of living without your Lortab? Or whatever it was that you were using? I never really got that "high" from it, more like I just didn't get sad and panicky, I was peaceful and really together, and I'm so scared that now I'll always be this kind of nutcase. Don't get me wrong, I'm so afraid of it now I don't ever want to see it again, it's just that, I guess, I'm just as much afraid of me. Silly, huh?
Bridget

Hey Bridget,
I never saw this response until today. YES!!!!!! I am VERY scared of living without my opiate. I tell this to my Mom almost daily....."i'm worried that i won't be happy or have enough energy to function without the meds."
She then tells me that I CAN and I WILL. That i need to remember that there WAS a time when i was taking nothing, and I lived a perfectly normal, happy life. Although it seems so long ago that it's so hard for me to remember. I feel so dependent on these things that I worry I won't be able to make it thru a day without. Until my dose of it mid-day, I'm a walking zombie. But, I am holding to the belief that it is bcuz my body is physically dependent on them, so of course it is hell until i get it into my system. But if i'm not taking them at all, my body won't crave them......and i shouldn't experience these horrible feelings that i get until i can get a pill in me.
I also loved the feeling it gave me. It wasn't so much a high, as a feeling of "normalcy"....like i could make it thru the day without feeling icky and having headaches and being so tired. But like they said below, that began to wear off and then i was left feeling like crap every second that i didn't have a "fresh dose" in me. So it worked AGAINST me after a while.
But during that time, we're too sick to even accept that its the medication that's making us miserable. All we can think of is that we feel BETTER once we take it. But it's actually the culprit of why we feel badly every day.
I'm glad to hear that things are going better for you. Hang in there and keep up the GREAT work! Everything happens for a reason, and this happened to give you a new chance at life. Being sober.
If we do the next right thing, good things happen. And your doing the "next right thing" now that this happened. I'll keep you in my prayers and I just know things will work out for you!:angel:
I am on suboxone right now. I was on lortab for 3 years, then methadone for a year and a half. I'm about to taper from 10 mgs to 8 mgs a day.. A little apprehensive, but I think I will be every taper. Now I'm just dealing with being tired all the time...no energy.. I hate it.