Discussions that mention mescaline

Addiction & Recovery board

I just celebrated 3 years clean on the 20th.
I used for 27 years. I did needles every now and then when I was in high school but never to myself. I loved everything that was easy to get my hands on. I grew up in the "hippie" era. LSD, 'shrooms, psilocybin and mescaline. I "progressed" to coke and alcohol and finally my last days I came crawling to a treatment center on benzos, vicoden, a/d and alcohol. I couldn't get out of bed without a whole handful od pills and a six-pack. I thought if I just took my pills it would take the "edge" off trying to quit the alcohol. I started using when I was 14 and I was 41 when I came here. I was born in Austin, Texas. Used here and got clean here. I didn't stay here the whole time though. I tried geographic changes, marriage, divorce, women and now that I am clean, I know I was just running from myself. I had no friends, I was all alone. Even I couldn't stand to be around me. I found NA through the treatment center where I detoxed (it took 10 days to detox)and then went on to Level II. That was the 28 day inpatient treatment. It sure did help me stay away from all the influence for a short period and helped me decide what I wanted. When I got out I started going to meetings, I got a sponsor, I work the steps. I am finishing up my first round of them. I am trying to complete the 12th and then I will go back to the first one. I sponsor 4 women and my partner is in recovery. There isn't enough room on this board to talk about the progression I have gone through by staying clean. I have passing thoughts sometimes of using, but they are just that, "passing" On a hot day, who wouldn't like a cold icy brew. Well I wouldn't stop at just one for me. It would probably take me no time at all to start calling some doctors and scam the pills and so on, and so on...
Don't get me wrong, when I speak about it, it sounds easy, but I was terrified. I had always driven my car under the influence of something, so when I walked out of the treatment center I was terrified that I would wreck or not know how to drive without something in my body. It is such a miracle today. I woudn't trade this life for anything in the world. It feels so good not to have to wake up and start the process of finding ways and means to get money and so on. I also lived in blackouts so I don't remember a lot of what I did. Now I remember everything.
I have the same job I got three years ago, same VCR, same TV, same partner, and my bills get paid.
Hope this helps. I don't like to talk too much about the using part, but I do go to prisons and treatment facilities and carry the message of hope to the still suffering addict.
peace out. [img]http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/bang.gif[/img]