Discussions that mention methadone

Addiction & Recovery board


Mart7 and Feelbad....


Mart7--- Hi, MJ...

Even up till now, I am still having lots of trouble trying to get in and out of Threads. I even have problems getting into this Thread, which I started myself.!!!
I have found that there are about 5 or 6 different ways of getting inside each thread. Sometimes, I have to use them all, before I finally succede. The Mods passed me around to each other, telling me they have "no idea" what the problem is, but maybe the "next " Mod will be able to help. And I had to keep re-writing what the problem is, as they would not accept e-mail with forward attachments (even though they were from each other.!). Final result from HeadMod says "there must be something wrong with my ISP", because I have been able to post "some of the time".!!! So, I got in contact with my ISP and they ran a test on my line and found nothing wrong with it.! I can go to any other site, and have absolutely "no problems", so I already knew my end of the line was not the reason. I have asked the Mods if I could just wipe out my entire "profile" and come back to the Board as "New". They say that can't be done, but I may end up doing it on my own.....Modwatch seems like a very friendly fellow, but I don't think the other mods are all that "happy" with either Yinksy or myself.! Too bad......

Its very nice, and rare, that the spouse of an addict (Or Physical Dependent, always the arguement there,!) will come on to this Board and try to understand what it is We go through. You show "how much" you wish to help your Husband through his "troubling times". You bring with you, how the Other Side views us.! He should be very Proud of you....

I would like to stay in contact with you, and will keep my eyes open for your Posts... The following Post to Marcia, is also for your Husband to try and understand.....


Feelbad---

Hi Marcia...Your Post to me was very kind. But my personallity has a hard time allowing me to except compliments easily.... "Yes", I have come out of a very big hole, but I am more "mad" at myself, for falling into to it in the first place.!!! As you may know, I've been using drugs from an early age, but I have always just teetered on that "fine line", keeping one toke, one pill pop, or one hit (or snort) away from addiction. (Well, maybe I was addicted, but never like this "full- blown addiction", such as what I have soo recently expierenced.!!!). Odd, how it was "legal drugs" that beat me.(???).... I won't go into all the drugs I was taking, as that is "old news". And whether it was "being touched by God" ( as my wife and mother-in-law call it) or just coming to my senses, I ended up doing a 5-6 day Methadone Cocktail de-tox, with a week wean-down from the de-tox drugs.

I found that by diving into Physical Therapy "all the way", I was able to reduce the nerve pain a great deal. I also went to a chiropractor and even a Hypnotist to reduce the pain. What remained, I deceided to let it hurt, rather than return to those Damn drugs again.! No real secret or "magic". Just plain ole Irish stubbornism, and determination to beat, what at some times seemed un-beatable. There was alot of "mental anguish", which I tried to cover up by using humor and kidding around. The insomnia, after stopping the drugs, was the worse.! I started resorting back to using Benzos, and had to way over-medicate myself, as they weren't giving me much help in the sleeping dept.!
As I quickley climbed the ladder of benzos, I would have most definitely became addicted again (or worse, O.D'ed.). Thats when I met Yinksy on this Board. Through her "ranting and raving" (LOL, LOL.!!!), I also heard the seriousness of her warnings.! This caused me to "double-check" her facts, by joining the U.K. Benzo site, and reading thru the Ashton Manuel. And when I saw too much of me in there, and where it was leading me too, I just deceided to stop "everything" and face the music.!!! Oh, it was "BAD" for a couple of weeks, but it would have been even worse (like it was for her.!) if I had continued on. Even with my Doctor's approval.! I am really believing now, that they (Doctors) don't understand about the long term affects, of all these drugs they soo freely distribute to us.! Whether you take them as prescribed, or whether you abused them, in the "long-term", you are going to end up in the same place.!!! At least, thats this druggie's opinion and expierence....

So, ya see, Marcia, I don't consider myself special or anything like that. I do feel I am capable enough to realize my mistakes, and take a proper course of action , not to repeat them again. Especially now, with my brain being as clear as it has ever been. For me, being idle is the worst thing I can do. It allows those "wrong thoughts" the opportunity to express themselves....

I understand from reading your Post, that "work" is no longer an option for you. (I soo much hope you get that Disability claim thru...). But even so, you must try to find what the "limits of your physical ability" are, AND THEN, aspire to surpass them. Of course there is going to be both physical AND mental pain. Thats what makes us all fragile and Human. But as you exceed, even a little, past your own expectations, there will come a new and better belief in yourself. And if you allow the drugs to fade from your lifestyle, your mind will become clearer and more aware. This will cause you to feel better about yourself, and will bring on that determination to keep doing more, and stop you from thinking about all the things that hold you back.!!!

Ya know, Marcia, I am not very good at this "motivation kind of talking".! And I would never think of myself as a "holy roller, telling people to do things as I do them. I've always been, much too much, of a Rebel myself. I find my way through life in my very own way.! But you asked how I stopped the drugs, and this was the best I could explain to you... Maybe we can talk some more and help each other out by sharing our thoughts on this, or anything else ... There are alot of people who were worse-off then either you or I, and they have made it.! We each have to come to sobriety in our own way, but that doesn't mean we have to do it alone...Right.???? What do you think.???


Kinda-Well, Now......