Discussions that mention methadone

Addiction & Recovery board

Hi there.... I think about this question all of the time. Basically thinking about if I could go back and do things over, at what point would I change it. In high school and college, I tried anything that I was offered and never had a hard time turning ANYTHING down. Maybe with the exception of LSD. That was my fave!!! Luckly, it wasn't around very often. So basically, MaryJane. I never drank because my father is an alcolohic and I don't like even being around drunk people. SO, skip a few years down the line, I am 29 now. I was in a very bad relationship that I didn't know how to cope with, I had just had gastric bypass surgery and feeling completely like my life was just one big royal mess. BTW, I went through surgery (June, 2002) with no problem putting the pain pills down. But I changed one addiction (food) to another (pills).
My boyfriend took them for back pain. Every now and then I would take one and noticed that it would make me feel "in the mood", know what I mean. My life was so screwed up that I enjoyed the escape from reality and feeling sexual. Funny huh? Took a pill to want to be close to my boyfriend. Now, it seems the opposite. No sex drive at all.
But after I lost about 60 lbs. I was having terrible back pain. I went to my family doctor. He sent me home with Soma and Lortabs. Having my own script made me think that it was ok that I was taking them. Of course, I was taking 4 every 4-6 hours, instead of the 1-2, as perscribed. I had an MRI and they found the causes of my back pain. I was sent to a Pain Management doctor and he gave me 90 10mg. Methadone for my chronic back pain, along with 180 Oxycodone and 120 Soma's. I noticed that when I was taking the pain pills that I didn't eat and had no want for food. This was the added bonus since I had just had surgery. But, after taking the Methadone, I had a reaction that ended me in detox, by my choice. I had a three day panic attack and my tongue swelled twice the normal size with about 100 tiny blisters all over it. I called the Pain Management doctor and reported this and his reaction was, and I quote, "I don't think your damn tongue is going to fall off." The he called me in 120 Lortab's. Anyway, I went into detox on Tues. at 3:00 pm and was sent home Thur. at 10:30 am because the wd's were over. I went to 4 weeks of group meetings, 4 days a week, 3 hours each. I was clean for three months, but I was still with the boyfriend. One night we were at his mothers and I decided that I wanted that high and like a idiot, I thought just one and that would be it. That was in July, 2003 and it went from one to two a few times a week to a raging addiction by October. That lead me to doctor shopping. A pharmacy called all of the doctors and somehow, by the grace of god, the law wasn't involved. I was clean for a few weeks but went right back to taking them just not getting my own perscriptions. But now, I am taking what I get and get them from other sources too. I can take 10-15 Lortab 10's a day or I can take one and stay out of withdrawls. But I don't get any high anymore.
Basically, right now, i am working up the strength to go cold turkey. I am starting to get injections on my back and hoping that will help the pain issues, so hopefully I can do this. I have such a hard time with the cravings, depression and lack of energy. That is what keeps me on these. It is time to just bite the bullet, go CT and start meetings!!!!
Good luck with whatever you decided to do and this is a great question!!!