Discussions that mention methadone

Addiction & Recovery board

Hi friends-
Hope everyone is doing well..I know there a few people going to detox and i thought it might be interesting for others to relate their experiences w/ detox.
I thought id write about my first time at a detox facility.
I had been using heroin for appox.3 years-i started out like most sniffing/and then switched to iv. as my addiction progressed.
I went to a local detox-state run-a real horrorshow-the place was actually being shut down at weeks end-and they were moving to a new facility/i was dead-scared..i heard stories about this place..and i was right.
Mostly the clients-were court ordered-and just wanted to get out.But-i was trying to get the most out of this-and hopefully get clean.Being a first-timer..some people were teasing me- i could care less-i was so ill-i didn't get out of bed for 48 hrs..i just cried..and prayed for wellness.
I met this incrediable women who was HIV+..we became pals-got our methadone together/had lunch..took meetings at the same time..she really supported me-as this was her 10th detox-i was a newbie-needed help.
Mostly everyone talked about there drug days-glorifying..that was tough.
Everyone told me-"you'll be back"-i was firm..no way..im getting clean..after this?
Then after the 4th day-it became like "summer camp"-the girls were hanging out-we all felt better-now that the methadone was in our system-we smoked/talked about our addictions/familys/etc..it really was a positive experience.
I wasn't at home losing it..cold turkey-i was medically treated/and had the oppurtunity to hear some excellent speakers at the meetings and get therapy/counseling etc.
Unfortunately-i did not stay clean-i relapsed w/in a week-i didn't understand the process- or realise "just one more"-would lead to another year of using before my next 4 detoxes-which over a period of 2 months i was hospitalised for over a month..
Detox did not stop my addiction-i was too far gone-i always tried-i kicked 20x in one year.Using out patient methadone-i did finally get 2 yrs sober-in june of 2000-and relapsed in early 2003..
I was lucky enough to hear about suboxone-which has now given me close to a year-of no heroin..i did have a couple of slips early on-but haven't touched a thing in 8 months.
There was a big heroin bust 2 streets away from my apt..this week.And i was in a detox this time of year 5 years ago-during the columbine tragedy...so this time of year is reminicent of the "old days"-and you know-im glad im not in it..so many of the old gang is gone-dead/in jail/or moved away-i feel blessed to have found a way out-even tho im not technically 'sober"-im not using.Im not high-broke/selling my possesions/or sick every single day.
When i think of what i put my body/mind/soul thru-i ask-why?Why did i go there/and for the life of me..i don't know-my life was full of promise..i had issues..but things were good.
But the lessons ive learned-i wouldn't trade for the world-because today i am more humble/closer to God/Goddess..and a better person in many ways..more empathy/more patient..many virtues i did not have before i was an addict.
So to those going for the first time-make it your first/and last-don't use when you get home-get to a meeting call a friend-take the time to heal-3 weeks from now you'll be physically better-don't let the depression get you-it will pass.The lethagy/muscle aches-motrin/advil..patience is the key.
Goddess bless you-and life is gonna get alot better.
Heather :angel: