Discussions that mention methadone

Addiction & Recovery board


You're right. You are lucky. I'm on day five. It is three in the morning. I got a total of 3 hours sleep with one oxy, two restorils and two Ambiens. I had the heebie jeebies again and the hot bath didn't even help.

It has gotten progressively worse for me every single day. I had to run to the bathroom yesterday and just made it to the sink. This is a bathroom I never use as I live by myself. Well, what I didn't know since I haven't used it in months was the sink was stopped up.

Not a pretty sight. I then made it to the toilet where I had dry heaves and ended up curled up in a fetal postion on the floor for a half an hour til it passed.

I'm sitting here, in the middle of August, with sweats on and a ceramic heater running full blast.

I'm done eating or drinking anything that isn't juice or water. I don't know how long this can possibly go on. I know I'm prolonging it taking the oxy but I decided I needed a few hours relief and if that's the trade off then I'll deal with it. It's not like I'm taking huge dosages.

I'm actually more concerned about the benzos since I was also addicted to them. They're easier to get off though. But I don't want to end up having to.

Daytime is better than nighttime because I can at least distract myself somewhat. I have no concentration so reading or watching TV is out.

Anyway, that's my little update, hopefully, to make you feel really good about how easy it's going for you. You're probably a lot younger. I'm 51. This is not good for me physically because of the BP thing. I think when you're younger, you bounce back quicker so count your blessings.

And I did want to say do not ever fall into the trap of thinking you can EVER again take this drug recreationally. I've been addicted to alcohol and benzos as well and I know this is true.

I quit drinking and I have never taken another drink. I quit benzos and it took this wd to make me take them. Otherwise, I would have never touched one again. I quit smoking for 12 years and am now up to over a pack a day

It just doesn't work like that.

And if you were going through the hell I'm going through, that would be enough to convince you that risking being back here, and if you use you will be back here guaranteed, is not worth a high.

I don't know why that is. It has something to do with the junkie's ability to rationalize using because we want to.

But I relapsed with tobacco and I remember thinking one cigarette couldn't possibly addict me again. One led to two and two led to three. And then I bought my own pack and I had twenty. After that I went weeks without one again. Oh cool, I can take this or leave it. So bought another pack. And another. And here I am puffing away.

And nicotine isn't 1/10th as addictive as oxy.

JMHO and daily update.

I'm seriously considering the methadone clinic right now but it's a hour drive one way and gas is almost $2 a gallon. So I don't know.

Brenda