Discussions that mention methadone

Addiction & Recovery board


Although we've not "met," I've seen some of your posts and know a little bit about what you're dealing with, but I do apologize for jumping in here without being fully informed. It's just that when I read your post on your new thread here, I really just wanted to say to please not beat yourself up over what you see as letting yourself and others down. As for this board, surely you know that those who are going through or have gone through what you are will understand why you did what you did...I've seen some of the support you've rec'd so far, and I know that will continue because that's what this place and its people do--they offer support and encouragement and reality checks like I've never seen or had before, and we are very fortunate to have them and this place.

You need all the support you can get, and I agree with Lynn...talk to your doctor, it shouldn't be this uncomfortable, I wouldn't think? Again, I don't know a thing about sub, I am doing the meth, and I know when the tapering off part comes, I will be scared, and I will need this place more than ever as well as my clinic and the doctor there.

Sometimes if you can just put a different "spin" on how you look at things, it might not be as bad as you think it is nor as bad as you feel about what happened on your 11th day. For example, what if you said, "...I was true to my plan for 11 days, had a minor setback because I had fought as hard as I could and then had to be honest with myself and say I just can't do this today without the help of something." Maybe I am completely off base with this suggestion because I don't know anything yet about the getting off withdrawal-suppressing drugs. Since I just started methadone 6 wks. ago, I'm only in the very beginning stages of my program. I have heard that getting off both sub and meth is very, very hard, and I am scared to all get out about that, yet I know I will have to cross that bridge when I come to it, and I have no doubt that the chance of a relapse is very real and something I need to prepare for as much as I can now both emotionally and physically.

For you though, it sounds as if you've done the hard part, and now you are at a point where it's gotten much more difficult...Fisher, I haven't even read all of your story (but I'm going to), but from what I have seen and read about you, it's so clear that your desire is there--maybe you are expecting too much too soon from yourself? As I understand it, with the tapering off both sub and meth, it's imperative to go slow and easy--are you doing this too quickly given your strong desire to be off it all? I know you know this, but you are only human, and so it turned out that day 11 was harder than you anticipated. You don't have a crystal ball--how could you or anyone know what this stage would be like until they get there? Even those who have done it and can share what it was like for them, well...everyone is different in their physical and emotional makeup, so you can hear it, learn about it, and try to prepare for it, but when you get to that point, it really is only you that is there.

Sorry for the rambling, but please do try to be kind to yourself and not make this something so big that it takes away from the good work you've done so far. Perhaps you could make day 11 your yellow light, a warning, a sign of caution..."roadwork ahead" so you took a detour with the Ritalin, and maybe that's a good thing if you're going too fast and need to slow down a bit? Again, I apologize for not knowing your whole story, but when I post to you again, I will have read it :) .

Good luck with this process. I sincerely hope that day 12 and all the days after that are another step closer to you feeling better.

All my best,