Discussions that mention methadone

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I did 10-25 10mg Lortabs a day for about 2 years. Then got on OXY, doing 2 80mg OC's IV about 3 three times a day at the worst. I did the OC's for about 4 or 5 years, trying to quit many times and ways without any luck. Then I started Methadone and could get by on 1 40mg waffer a day. After 2-3 months of doing the Meth I went to a MMP and they got me stable at 130mg of the liquid a day. I got 6 takeouts a week after 30 days cause it was a 4 1/2hr trip there and back. I staied at 130mg for a year and a half. Well last Thursday they called me for a suprise check. And I could not leave cause of my job(I'm a boat captain). If I left it would have shut down the whole company and I would have lost my job, so I didn't go. Therefore I lost my takehomes and would have to come every day again for 30 days. If I did that I'd lose my job too. So I thought maybe I could just quit(since I had not felt W/D's for about 2 years I'D FORGOT THEM). I had been 2-3 days without before and was fine. But god was I WRONG on the 5th day I got my *** kicked. I mean it came on slow at first that morning then by noon I was praying to god for death. I still had 90mg of Meth left and around three that eveing I took it. 30-45mins lator I got back alright. I knew if I didn't I would'nt be able to go to work the next day. So now I'm taking 1 40mg waffer a day(which I have to pay $30 a piece for on the street) and am making it but just making it. Dont know what i'm going to do now. I've been tring to find a doctor to bring me off 5mgs every 1-2 months from 40mg which I would like to take for 2 months cause it real rough at 40mg now. But I've had no luck. I only found one doctor here that does that and was told if I got down to 30mg to come back in 1 month and they would reconcider. The Meth has got hard to come by here and I'm afarid i'll get back on the OC's to avoid W/D's. If I get on the OC's I caint controll them like the Meth, you just lose your torlerse to them so fast. I've fought this fight so long and so many times that it has wore me down to where I'm real tired, REAL TIRED. At this point I just want it to stop.I really don't think I will make it through the W/D's again. It was different before when I had nothing to lose but I had a glimpse of real life with the Meth even though it may have been a false glimpse cause the Meth really had me worse than the OXY's or Hydro's ever did. Hell it was 5 days before the W/D's started With the OC's I would have nearly been through the worst of it. Really, really tired and wanting help but just keep coming up with one way out,and I want it so bad. Bad thing, me being the weak junkey that I am I just don't have the balls to stop this pain and downward trip I'm on. God I pray for a end soon.

P.S. Anyone that could tell me how long before it took for them to get W/D's from Meth and how long they lasted, please do. Any advice about quitting Meth would be nice too.

Methadoneslave,

Your post concerns me very much. I may be reading between the lines and you are talking about rather die. I know the feeling all to well. I am almost on day 18 of w/d's of Suboxone. It is still rough. I am not going to lie to you, however, it is tons better than day 5. That day I will never quit.

Why not consider Suboxone? After the first week if your doctor trusts you enough , they will probably give you a month's supply at a time. It is a little pricey but not anything near what you are paying on the street. Once I hit maintnance dose I completely quit craving opiates. I was able to get my life back. The w/d's are a little tougher than just opiates but they can be done.

Finally, I will end with what I really think you need to do. You need to find a good doctor and a treatment center and get so help fast. You are at a very critical point right now. What is your house, car , job etc worth if you are dead? Please get some help because I had so much more support than you and I did a taper. I am praying for you.

fisherman

I agree with Fisherman.... My doctor actually gives me two refills along w/my prescription I get in his office, so I see him every quarter. They want you to be down to 30 mgs of Meth before you switch over but in your case, I don't see what other choice you have other than to taper on the forties, or cold turkey which is absolutely the last thing I would do on Meth. You just don't do it... Although, my 'friend' that used to help me would have to cold turkey and he would have to stay in bed for over 7 days.... then he would be o.k.... still sick but able to work a manual job, etc. I would try Suboxone.... Seriously, it works. NO cravings, no withdrawals... but it is also difficult to get off of. Think about it. But I absolutely would not cold turkey from 40 mgs of methadone a day down from over a hundred.

Methadoneslave,

I know a doctor for you on the Suboxone but you would have to drive about 6 hours north I-65 to get in . She is a great doctor and specializes in addiction. She would require you probably everyother day for maybe no longer than 10 or 12 days. Then if she trusts you enough I believe she would adjust to fit your work schedule. Search the Suboxone website for Sub Doctors in Alabama and do a little calling you will find one close enough to make the trip. Take a couple weeks vacation and stay at a motel in the city of the doctor till they trust you.

What do you have to loose? You say you are having trouble with the wife. I was at the same place as you memorial day weekend. My sub appointment was the next week. It changed my life.

One thing to consider, which is not on the top ten list right now anyway. It seems to take the sex desire away from the man. However, I bet a Viagra thrown in the mix would stir it up a little.LOL

Please get help as quick as you can,
I will do anything I can to help,
fisherman

PS. I love Panama City and fishing down there. I was supposed to go to the Navy Air School in Pensacola to be a Navy pilot years ago. My uncle was a navy fighter pilot from 2 wars and had me a seat waiting. Unfortunatly , Diabetes struck me at 18 and my little dream went down the toilet. I always thought I would love to be a boat captain. I even threatned my wife I was leaving and going to the Gulf on about Day 7.LOL

Methadoneslave,

i don't think they allow any for of PM or email listing or such. I think it against the rules of the forum. You have found the place to start your search for a Sub doctor. A lot of treatment centers have doctors that use Sub. If you can't make it through the weekend, I would start calling treatment centers and hospitals in the Alabama area where the Sub docs are listed on the site. It took me a few phone calls to find one. I was lucky by her not being too far away.

There is someone on here and I can't remeber is from Alabama and is on Sub. Maybe they can come to your rescue.

keep me posted,
Fisherman

ps I really feel like you need immediate help. Can anyone come to the rescue?

MethadoneSlave,

I decided and for job reasons to private pay all my addiction problems. So for me it was $105 per office visit and About $80 for a months supply of 8mg Suboxone 30 pills total. I took 4mg x 2 a day. If you go this route talk your doctor in 8mg size pills and get a pill cutter to make the right amount. The reason is the same supply in the 2mg size is about $200 a month. For some reason they charge the same price no matter the size.

hang in there friend,
you are getting close to some real help,
fisherman

MethadoneSlave,

Been away from the board yesterday and came back to check on you this morning. I really worried about you yesterday. I was hoping you could find a crisis center within driving distance this weekend that might get you started on the road of recovery. I know the feeling of "wishing to die" but that is not a option ever. You will see the light again. You must always remember that.

I had the hardest time always worried about relapse but someone come to me and with the warmest response and told me how many times they relapsed before getting to thier goal. Futhermore, they have stayed clean for several years. If you have to stay on a maintnance dose for the rest of your life so what? We are talking about quality of life and wishing to die is not much quality.

Now for the Sub............First, they want you to be clean from all opiates for about a day or so before starting or you will get sick from it. I know even a day scares you to death but it will pass , just be a couch potato for a day.

Keep in touch,
fisherman

methadone slave when i first went off merthadone which was around 40 to 50 mgs cold turkey i called my primary care dr and he weaned me off with a fentynal patch he only weaned me for 2 weeks which sucked because let me tell you once the patch was gone it all came back my story is a nightmare but its not the same for everyone i guess some people anywhere from 3 to 6 weeks start to feel no physical w/ds but again i'm not a dr i won't tell you my full story because i don't want to discourage you but there are 3 different stages of w/d once you get passed the physical alot of people have a honeymoon period like i did for example i started to feel better and then boom depression and anxiety which included panic attacks what do you take methadone for i did'nt catch it in your post i take it for chronic pain again i don't want to discourage you if you really need to get off this you can do it but depending on your situation i had to start councelling and taking klonopin oh and lexapro to help me get through it i also took trazadone for sleep which was a life saver because i never would have slept with out it and you know what i went through all that just to have to go back on it again to alleviate my severe pain methadone sucks believe me i know i'm trying to support you and let you know options that not everybody approves of but going on these other medications helped me personally so much sorry i wrote a novel but i completly understand your situation methadone w/d is scary but consider some of my advice it really helped post me back ok and let me know your progress when i see someone else in a situation i was in i want to do anything to help again sorry so long keep in touch and you're in my prayers i know what it's like to be a slave to methadone but you can beat it the thing i found that helped is talking to anyone that will listen and of course the other medications i mentioned when i went back on methadone i cried because i knew the 2nd time around would be forever don't let it beat you kelleigh :angel:

methadone slave your post title sounds like the first post i ever wrote when does it end i've been thinking of you because i know how it is i hope everything is ok post back soon you need all the support you can get and even though we don't know eachother i feel for people that have to go through (what i called it was a living nightmare) it forever sticks in my mind the 3 to 4 months of hell i went through but it can be treated there are ways of helping you through this i know there are people that disagree about ssri and benzos but they helped me through one of the roughest times in my life i'll never forget having to drag myself upstairs because of no energy and constant panic attacks and the feeling of you skin crawling and just wanting to jump out of it i hope i'm not making it worse but i just want you to know i know what you're going through i really hope you post back i know it's hard when you feel so horrible but believe me everyone here will support you in whatever way they can my prayers and thoughts are with you slavery was abolished just remember that prayers and hugs love kelleigh :angel: :angel: :angel: