Discussions that mention methadone

Addiction & Recovery board

I started using at 13 with pot and acid. At 17 I was an alcoholic. By my 20's I was smoking crack and getting high on speedballs by injection. Started going to treatment centers. Moved (geographical cure, yeah right) and stayed sober awhile. Got addicted to Hydrocodone. Went on Methadone. Started smoking crack again. Got sober and stayed sober in A.A. for almost three years. Started messing around with pain pills again and led to crack cocaine. Periods of sobriety (short) off and on. Four years ago, started on benzodiazapines. Since Jan. 1st of 2004, have drank a FEW times, taken pain pills a FEW times, have started enjoying smoking pot after all these years, and am having a hard time with these benzo's. I went into detox a month ago but left. Don't want to live without them. Now I am out and am going to go through the withdrawels and it just sucks. My fiance just doesn't understand. I know I should go back to detox, get off these things, and get back into A.A. Just not willing right now. Life seems hopeless. Tried to commit suicide a month and a half ago, as well. Any feedback would be welcome. Jennifer