Hi Julie, Pat here in Texas. By the way, I'm a guy. Thanks for posting on my post. Looks like another sleepless night for me. That's OK. I went 21 days without sleep when I kicked methadone. Ya don't die from lack of sleep. We have alot in common. My mom passed away while living with me. My dad passed away 9 years ago....both emotionally devastating loses. I want you to know I have been in recovery since 1988. I don't consider this a relapse. I was taking the oxycontin for for my back. I just did'nt like the fact that I had become addicted to it. It was changing me back to the way I was when I was a using addict. I know we are feeling the same things going thru this and we don't have to do it alone. I believe in God. I pray. I don't feel guilt and shame because God has never judged me. God loves me unconditionaly and is there to walk me thru this. You are so lucky not to have lost your family. My wife left me due to my addiction. Please be careful with the other meds and alchohol. It is too easy to switch one drug for another. You said to email you but not sure how to do that. PLEASE keep in touch. I need you. Being clean is such a great high. A high no pill can ever match. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Remember, the first step to recovery is to admit we have a problem and need help outside of ourselves. Love is all that really matters in life. Everything else is secondary. Your friend, Pat. ps-I live in Arlington, Texas....between Dallas and Ft. Worth. Hope to hear from you soon.