Discussions that mention methadone

Addiction & Recovery board


shawley,

I don't really know where or how to begin this.... So here goes. I read your posts, cried, got off the computer, went outside, cried more, came back inside to my computer, came on healthboard and just sat. Not sure how to even start talking to you.

So, I'm just gonna do this the best way I know how to. Firt off. you should be very proud of yourself for realizing that you have a problem!!!! Admitting it is the first step. I have dealt on the other side of this, I fight my pain alot of the time by myself, meaning, when I came out of surgery and was taking my meds, lets just say a couple of people coundn't relate, and made nasty unwarranted comments saying "You really need to get off of those things, you can't even talk right", or things like when I didn't take them because of their comments, "Do, you need another pill, here let me get one for you". Things like that, made me so self consious that I would fight to take when I really did need them. So, most days being in pain, I don't take anything. I say most days meaning, 4 out of 7 days I take nothing at all, and then the other 3 days if I do take something, I take 1/2 of 7.5 500mg of hydrocodone (vicodin), or 800mg of Ibuprofen. My pain is there constant, everyday. I am living with it and dealing with it the best way I know how to.

If I had not read your post on this, I would have never said anything to anyone on the back board, for me, I'm pretty closed up about personal things and I'm there learning and trying to encourage others. I don't know how to express and show how much I care, but I do!! All around me, meaning my family, inlaws, nieces and nephews and one of my own children, have dealt with or are still dealing with addiction. Most started with pain meds, and getting out of control do to the pain that they were in, just like you and everyone else. I honestly can tell you, that none of them are free from it, they won't admit that they have a problem, some are on methadone and were supossed to be weaned off, it was only to be used to help them off of the narcotics. One of my nephews, got so desperate for the pain meds and methadone, and had no money, that he went to a clinic and robbed it and now is in prison for 7 years. Shawley, this was one of the best kids around, so sweet, big hearted, loved everyone and never had a good chance at any decent life. After one care accident that he was in, (there were 3 total), he became dependant on the meds and the rest as they would say, was history. I have a beloved brother, whom has a couple of addictions, but doesn't see/realize it. I have to tiptoe when he's around, it's truly a scary time and I never know, whats gonna happen.

I truly tried to reach out to those two, that I mentioned on many occasions (sp), and thought okay maybe this time, but it never worked. Why, well probably alot of reasons, but one for sure was that neither would admit to it and seek or take help.

Please stay strong, like the other poster said, one minute at a time. When you can, please talk to your wife, she needs to be there for you and once the shock wears off, she will be. Give her the chance to love you in the best way possible. Remember, through sickness and in health. I will only say one more thing..... you might not realize it, but she probably knows or has suspicion of. The only reason I say this, is even though my family memebers would never admit to it, the ones closest, knew!!

I want you to know Shawley, that your not alone!! I wish you well!! And even though not in person, I will be here for you!! God Bless