Discussions that mention methadone

Addiction & Recovery board

Hey,nice to meet you, Push2!

Theres alot of us in the same boat here...dont feel so bad--we all need to start somewhere and just by you saying how you feel is a good start.

I've been an addict in some form or another for many years. I'm 42. Married, 3 girls. Doesnt make for the best husband/daddy,does it...

I dont know how many times over the years i have said the exact same thing as you. Exactly. man,I'm better than this...why am I doing this to myself...thinking about my poor wife sitting up and waiting for me while I'm in some other addicts bathroom smoking crack, or at some other addicts house buying and snorting oxycontin...doesnt matter what it is,its all the same. We hate ourselves while we're using but cant seem to stop...

For me, you have to really, actually want to stop. You have to NEED it. Deep down.

Its so much easier to keep using. Just ask me,I have been forever. I tried many times.

For some reason,tho, a few weeks back something just hit me and I knew I HAD to stop. Right then and there. So I did it. Boy,did it suck. I hadnt dont the crack in a long time, but my drug of choice was snorting oxycontins or whatever opiate I could get my hands on,just so I wasnt dopesick. methadone, oxys,vicodan,percosets,roxys...

Boy,I've just so gotten so sick of being sick, chasing the dope, so worried if I went home for the weekend and didnt have enuff drugs to last me till Monday morning when I could get more...spending all my money...looking at my dark eyes in the mirror...

So I quit. I did screw up after 20 days of not using last Saturday and did a couple of lines,but I know my mistake,have accepted it and moved foreward.
I'm back on Day 5 now,(darn,it should be 25...) but thats ok because my mind is in the right place.

My point here is that after roughly 25 years of being an addict that I have stopped,and you can,too. You've probably heard it b4, but if I can do it,then you certainly can....

I'm not gonna sugar coat it. Its not easy. But stop and take a look at yourself like I did. I didnt like what I saw. I knew what I needed to do. Its just too bad it took me 25 years to figure it out.

Even after just this short period of time,I feel great. the past couple of days I've felt a little icky, but that'll pass. I cant even begin to tell you how good it feels after soooo long to not have drugs in me.

Stop and take an evaluation of yourself. Look in the mirror. You CAN do this if you want it.

Pray for some help and guidance. Its what it took for me. I had to get down on my knees and beg. Really beg. Tears streaming down my face begging.
It worked,tho. My whole attitude has changed. Life is getting better,day by day.

Take some time and read alot here. Theres some incredible inspiration here.

I've said enuff. Kep posting and let us know how you're doing. People really do care here.

**big hugs**

peace,and God Bless.

Hello Push,

You mentioned in another thread that you were on methadone and I have a feeling that there is much more to be revealed.

Though I do not ask you to do so(only share what you are comfortable with), it seems that there may have been some traumatic episodes which you are trying to block out, thus dealing with the issues by escaping.

Have you ever thought of seeing a psychiatrist?

I ask this because it seems that you need an outlet and the one that you have chosen for yourself is counter-productive.

Just a thought.


Hi there sorry to but in on this thread but can i ask you pheonix what you mean when you mention an undiagnosed PHYSICAL condition?
Just keep doin your best push, methadone is tuff one to kick and if you can cut out the street drugs and just stabilize on the meth thats great progress give yourself a pat on the back.
My suggestion would certainly be go to NA, ive been off the meth 5 years, did 2 years of comlete abstinence with chronic pain, so now i do medicate for pain relief but my life is great and has completely changed.