Discussions that mention methadone

Addiction & Recovery board

I'm new, im here to get as much info as i can so i can save my husband. :-( he's been using heroin for over 10 years, he's 29. not too often, though, every other week, once a month or so, at least since i've been with him (year and a half) we just came back from our vacation and everysince he's been usinig every single day!!! I am scared, he got a notice from his job already, he became so irresponsible, like nothing matters, anyway enough of it, let's get to the issue here.
i was able to find a methadone clinic yesterday, so i took him there right away, he agreed to it. he has been on methadone before twice over 10 years. so i figured it will help him get off heroin and then he will go to rehab, that is the real work i think. BUT, today was his second meeting to get the medicine (40 mg) and he was just fine almost all day and in the middle of the day he kind of acted funny, i thought it was methadone, i want to beleive i have no clue on any of the drugs, but since its a drug i overlooked it. but now im thinking, how come he didnt act like this yesterday, and even this morning he was fine, it was just like a 5 hour period where he was kind of fidgety, and something was just off about him.
my question is, is it possible he was using today a tiny bit of amount maybe? or you do feel like this from methadone????
Desperate girl,

My heart goes out to you. Having been on methadone myself, my best guess is that if your husband is taking his methadone and is having periods where he is geting 'jittery', he may be going through some withdrawls and his dose of methadone might need adjusting.

Now for the hard part. I don't want to hand you a harsh reality check here, but I can tell you as an active addict for more than half of my life that you cannot save him. The only person in all the world who can save your husband is him.

This is the most heartbreaking thing about addiction; for those of us who are addicts, our loved ones must believe that our drug means more to us than they do. Please know that this is not necessarily true. There are many people in my life who mean far more to me than my drug does; these are people whom I love and who love me, and I absolutely know that my drug cannot care for me one way or another. I do not love my drug. I love the way it makes me feel; I love that it allows me to hide from those aspects of life that are sometimes too ugly to bear.

But my husband has told me that he would rather I carried on an affair with another human being than continued to use. He says he cannot compete with whatever it is that my drug gives me. And sometimes this is far too true.

Pease, please, please - do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself. Don't let your own life be swallowed up in trying to save his. You can't. The most you can do is get him as much help as you can, give him all the support you can if he stays clean, and get him out of your life if he won't.

You cannot save him. You can save yourself.
thanks both of you, and it's sooooo true, i know exactly what's going on, and that he's in denial. maybe i should sit his ass in front of the computer and see all these conversations or have him communicate with you guys.
the bottom line is: he keeps telling me that i have a problem too, im not a good listener, and i make him do things because he 's frustrated, blah=blah....
i know im not perfect and i could be a better person, but he forgets that he gets high and comes home like that when everything is fine, what would he say to that??? oh, yes you think everything is fine, but deep down its not. But what i say to that is that he had this problem way before me, what did he blame it on then??? he always finds something or someone to blame.
If thats the case he should see a psychologist,right??
i might ask him to write to you guys but what i ask you is would you mind replying to this letter in a way where he understands where im coming from???
that him blaming me or our relationship is not the solution, and especially not in the long run, and he needs to get better FOR HIMSELF, he just said it today that he hopes this will strengthen aour relationship, is this it he's hoping for???????????????does it mean i have to walk on eggshells for the rest of my life with him?
he's taking 50 mg of methadone, and he's acting the same way as he does when he's on heroin, how long does he have to be on such big dose? he wont function like this for long at work.
THANKS , hope to hear from you all soon.
Desperate girl,

With all due respect, if you have a problem here, it is sticking around and in some sense enabling him to keep using & stay in denial.

As far as his blaming you for his drug use, that line ranks up there with "the check's in the mail"... You don't force him to use. That is his chioce. Don't ever question that. It is easy for an addict to blame someone else for their problem. I started using at about 11 when my older brother (who had physically abused me since I can remember and sexually abused me from the age of 9) figured out that giving me drugs made me more compliant and easier to control.

It would be very easy for me to blame him or my parents (who were evidently living on Mars) for my addiction and continuing struggle with drugs. But none of them have had any involvement in my drug abuse since I was 16 or so. Every time I use, I make the choice. It may be that I sometimes use drugs to hide from the traumas of my past, but every time, it is my choice.

Even if someone else offers me something, I always have the option to walk away or say no. The fact that I rarely do is MY problem, and it is one that I am working on.

Every addict has this choice. Unless someone is physically restraining you and injecting you with something, or slipping something into your food or drink without your knowledge, therer is always choice. Blaming somebody else is just a cop-out, and not a very good one.

Phoenix is right that your husband will have to walk this road alone, right up until he acknowledges that he has a problem and asks for help. You cannot do this for him; you cannot save him. You can only save yourself.

As far as the dosage of methadone, 50 mg is kind of high, but not astronomical. There are two kinds of programs that utilize methadone; one kind simply maintains the addict on a steady dose of methadone because it will stop him from being able to get a high from other opiates. And methadone itself really does not give a person a euphoric 'rush' like other opiates do.

The other kind of program will stabilize the addict on a dose of methadone that prevents withdrawl symptoms and then slowly tapers the dose off. The latter type of program generally also involves (at a minimum) outpatient counseling. Which kind of program is he in? That will determine how long he is on methadone and at what dose. Personally I think that it is best for him to get clean completely. Methadone is not without problems of its own. As Phoenix says, these things can steal pieces of your soul.I know that I am missing a chunk or two, and am thankful that I have a shaman I can go to when I am ready to work on making it whole again.

But back to the main point: do whatever you have to do to take care of yourself. Unless he wants your help, there is nothing you can do for him. I wish you all the best.
ughhhhhh, what a nightmare i went through today with the clinic. My husband works out of state pretty often, and his clinic is supposed to find another close by so he can get his medication, but his counselor didnt do anyhting, i had to get up 7 o'clock this morning to find a place so he wouldnt miss a day.
I was thinking maybe he'd be better of with Suboxone, what do you think??? what is the DIFFERENCE between the two, and how do you get off of methadone so you can start suboxone?? i really am contamplating to have him switch....how expensive it is , and how often he needs to see a doctor with that?? is it more addicted you think???
too many questions I know....THANKS!!!!!!
Just to let you know, 50mg. is not considered a high dose. When you first start treatment you are stated out at 30mgs. Then usually,it depends on the clinic, you are given an increase of 5 to10 mgs a day or every other day untill you are able to go a full 24 hrs without going into withdrawls. Maybe if he increased his dose it would have a huge effect on the treatment working the way it is designed to work. Some people don't want to go to a higher dose because they still want to be able to feel their drug of choice,does this make sense. The whole point of methadone treatment is to block the effect of whatever drug you were taking so you nolonger can get high off it. The recommended theraputic dose of methadone is between 80 to120 mgs. I have heard and know of some people that take up to 1000mgs. aday. and this person is a practicing attorney. This may be hard for you to believe but the thing about methadone is not to get caught up in the numbers. There is no high dose or no low dose,just the right dose that works for you. I have been a methadone patient for over20 years. If there is anything I can help you with please let me know and I will be glad to help if I can. This drug is considered the gold standard of treatment according to the Washington D.C.s council on drug addiction.

Take care,
thank you so much for taking the time to reply. Well he's not on methadone anymore, he's out of state a lot due to work, and the clinic was not very experienced in finding locations for him to get medicated, but not only that but also he was really a nightmare on methadone, so now we switched to suboxone. Wasnt easy to get to this point but he started it two days ago, he was supposed to start on Friday but later i found out he wanted to have one more day of fun" so he didnt stared it until actually yesterday with 8 mg, and today is the second day 8 in the morning, 2 mg every two to three hours up to 16. I keep calling him to see how he's feeling, he says that the worst witdrawal is the skin irritation or whatever that is, and it comes and goes....its 5.00 pm and he has one 2mg tablet to take until tomorrow. see how it goes.
any suggestions or stories about suboxone. when can he start tapering off, i know he has just started but what are the first signs for doctors to start taking the patient off of it.
he also need therapy BIG TIME, any suggestions, in New york? thank you, all the best !!!