I really can't. I've lost all my sober friends, I spend all my time with a homeless man and all we do is try to get money to buy dope and do dope. I used to like this man but now I'm seeing how crazy and angry he really is. He yells at me all the time and I really don't like him anymore, but he's my dope connection so I end up always being with him. We spend our evenings driving from place to place, waiting for hours for dealers and smoking. The majority of my day is sitting in a parked car smoking cigarettes actually. My arms are always sore, bruised, and swollen. I'm almost broke. It's really getting to be a miserable, pathetic life. I tried to quit recently and get on methadone, but within two days I said F methadone, I need to get high. I don't even really get high anymore. I posted earlier about how I don't like AA, are there any other recovery groups that meet like that that aren't AA? I feel really lonely and I don't know how I can do this alone. I'm always around these 40 and 50 year old men who are still waiting around for the dope man and I really don't want that to be me, but when I'm sober I miss heroin so much that I just do it and don't even care about the consequences at the time. This post is a bit aimless like the rest of my life but I just wanted to express my feelings to someone.