Discussions that mention methadone

Addiction & Recovery board

Well I am having some problems and I am a person who dosent speak up especially with my fiance because he always blows things out of proportion, he is a hard person to talk to sometimes, other times he is very easy to talk to but i never know how he is going to react to certain things.. anyways he has a drinking problem and i have told him over and over that it bothers me he turns into a totally different person when he drinks and i dont like the person he becomes at all, and he knows it but still continues to do so, he drinks when things start to get a little hard in our life and it only makes it worse for him, he gets all emotional he gets mad easy and cries easy and he dosent see that it makes the problem worse not better. I dont know how to tell him again that his drinking is getting out of control. When he quits drinking he goes about 2 days and then starts to not be able to sleep and becomes withdrawn and he says he is sick but i know what is wrong with him.and so does he but he just does not want to admit that is whats wrong with him. And I have a problem myself I have been addicted to painkillers for about 7 years now and i just now started treatment, I have been on Methadone for about 3 months now and it has helped alot, but when i was taking the pills he was taking them as well, so now that i am not taking them and he dosent have a constant supply he drinks instead its like he has to have a buzz to function. He suffers from depression but says anti-depressants do not work for him, he has been to counseling for depession in his teen years ( we areonly 25) and he was even in a mental hospital for his depression in his teens, i dated him then too. But I am dealing with my own issues as well, and he seems to drink more when i have to go to work at night and he has to watch our daughter and he is so much fun to her when he has been drinking, he does all kinds of stuff with her and is the best dad in the world (she is not biologically his and her father is involved in her life as well and i think that bothers him but he wont admit it) he of course dosent drive anywhere because i have the car and he wouldnt do that with her anyways, He waits til i get home to get really drunk but he has to get a buzz on for him to have fun it seems, but when it comes down to me he always wants to get all emotional and he repeats the same stuff over and over ever time hes drunk which is all the time we have the same convo. and he says the same things its sooo old. He also wants to have sex and i dont when he drinks cause he just passes out in the middle of it i hate that! And he acts soooooo retarded when he drinks im embarassed for him when he talks to his friends on the phone! they all see it too but they think it is funny they think he is hilarious when he drinks but i do not at all. He also still sneaks some of my methadones when im not looking what do i say to that? he knows i need them. But what am i gonna do about this drinking thing? My father was an alcoholic and my childhood was a disaster because of it and i do not want my children to have an alcoholic father too, shes too young to know but i get this sick feeling like i used too when i was a kid when he is drunk and acting stupid i hate it so much and he hides it from me, what like i am not gonna realize you are drunk? that insults my intelligence. He hides the booze and acts like nothing is wrong. even though he is slurring and stumbling around. I cant handle it anymore, I want to marry him, he is a wonderful person when he isnt drunk and he loves me so much and treats me so well, but i cant marry a drunk how do i approach a sensitive subject? he has thrown my own problems in my face, but at least im on a treatment plan and my addiction was medically induced i wasnt doing them recreationally i had back problems and i took more than i was supposed to, so now i deal with the pain and take the methadone and i feel alot better than i ever have i knew i had a problem and addresssesd it he on the other hand will not. What do i do? Someone please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know it sounds harsh, but just like everyone else says, this guy is not good for you. Just look at your screen name, You are Emily's Mommy, you need to think of your precious daughter first. Just because your fiance is fun and nice to her now, you know from personal experience it's not always going to be like that. You are doing the right thing by facing you're addiction and recovering from it, and btw, congratulations for living in such a tumultious home situation and sticking to it. That shows great strength in you...the kind of strength that it will take to make the decision to take your daughter and live the kind of life that she deserves and that will keep her safe. I lived with an alcoholic for many years and let him terrorize me and my son, and verbally and physically assault me when he got really drunk. It took me forever to see that I could actually make it without him. So please, please don't marry this man if he's not recovered.

In the meantime I would definitely find a way to lock up your methadone, as most docs will not refill your script if you run out too soon or start asking for refills to early. You need to find away to keep him from taking your pills.

Good Luck and stay safe.
Honestly it sounds like you're trying to convince yourself that he is this great guy who will quit drinking just because you ask him to...but reality is, if he's an alcoholic, which if he's drinking a pint of whiskey and several beers everyday, it's pretty clear he is, then he needs to get help. You mentioned that you think he needs to cut back on his drinking and then go to AA, why would you want him to do it this way? AA is there to help him cut back on his drinking, they could give him the help and support that he needs. You'll have to face the fact that this may be something that you cannot fix nor force him to fix, no matter how much you want to, because honestly right now it doesn't seem like he wants to fix the problem. Does he even admit that he has a problem? And what about the methadone problem, is he still stealing your pills? I'm sure your husband can be a nice guy when he's sober, they usually are, I know mine is....but it's not really about the few times they're sober, it's about all the time that they're drunk or high. If I were you I would try to get him to go back to AA at the least. And I still think you need to get a small safe and lock up your methadone if he's still taking it.