Discussions that mention methadone

Addiction & Recovery board

Hi im currently on methadone daily 15mg..im soooo sick of picking it up...and being on it..my main problem is anxiety disorder...and i think its making my anxiety worse...along with that i take 2.5mg valium...for anxiety daily i just cant seem to be motivated is it the done??? or the anxiety or life..im fearfull all time...and feel in one big rut....am i ever going to be happy...i live alone....and feel isolated 2....thanks scott
Well 15mg of methadone is not a lot by any account. There are chronic painers that are on up to 100mg a day.

As far as the pot, yeah its illegal alright but hey at least its not crack.

Why did you go on the meth? Heroin addiction?
sorry Scott
You do seem to have something against 12-steppers. that's okay, I am not offended. Maybe my posts don't seem supportive because I DO NOT support that fact that people want to start taking other drugs to get over their symptom of their disease of addiction if they are in fact admitting that they are addicts. This board is for posts on addiction and recovery. I am in recovery and I have gone 3 years without substituting one for another. My story is, I came in here beat down after 27 years of active addiction. I started with anything and everything in the early 70's and ended up strung out on benzodiazipines(sp.) and alcohol. I used to tell myself (justify) that since my pills were prescription and the doc said I needed them for my "anxiety" then it was okay. I soon talked myself into taking them for any little problem or to "deal" with things going on in my life. Pretty soon I "needed" handfuls to just wake up and "feel" normal. So see, for me I can't even start with just one pill to get over my anxiety. The anxiety was from wanting to get high and to get to that place of euphoria that the first pill or the first drink got me. I also was strung out on pain meds. (Vicodin). That blows. I would talk myself into thinking that I was really in pain and I wasn't. I would sit and obsess and finally tell myself "yes, you are in excruciating pain"
So see for me, when I hear people saying that they just need this or that because they have anxiety, it reminds me of when I was using and the things I used to tell myself. When I was completely ready to stop using, I did. With the help of a detox center(10 days to get off the damn s*** with meds controlled by the doctors there) and then a 28 day program following. I was told that I needed to stay completely abstinant from ALL drugs. Not be a martyr by any means, just ask myself why I want to take a Benadryl or whatever other stuff people take to "help" them sleep. I have a terrible time sleeping myself I take NOTHING for it, and NO, my life is not great. Where did you read that my life was so great. Life still goes on whether I am using or not. It is how I handle and deal with the feelings that come with life's problems that matters to me today. I used to DENY that I was an addict and I hated everytime someone told me I had a problem.
You see I never said that YOU were in denial or that YOU justify. I just threw those words out there and I think you have a choice on whether to take them or leave them or maybe they were not even directed at you or judging you. They were merely for anyone who thinks they have a problem to look at. I guess they bothered you enough and if they did,... maybe you need to take a look at that.
You do not owe me or anyone else an explanation on what you are going through, You owe it to yourself to be truthful. I was always the first person that I manipulated into believing that I "needed" whatever. I also get upset that people "glorify" methadone. I hear people talk about how great it is and then a moment later, how it sucks that they can't go far because they will need to go get their next dose and can't miss it cause you will have to use to get over the withdrawals and... there are withdrawals. It also costs and so on and so forth. You yourself kept posting on how great it was and now you post how you are soooo sick of picking it up, and how you feel isolated. I didn't say you had to work on all your problems at one time. It does take time, but the first thing is to get off ALL the s*** and then a person can start working on getting their lives back together where it doesn't center around drugs and using. You will never have to feel like this again. That I can promise, but you have to not put the s*** in your body long enough to get your head together.
I also used to say that my problem was anxiety, when in reality my problem was addiction and all that goes with it.
No, I do not know your predicament. The only thing I know is that you posted for some advice and instead it sounds like what you wanted was sympathy acoording to the last post there where you also ended with a stab to my choice of programs. Works for me and today I don't have to stand in line for meth, I can go away to the beach for a four day weekend, I don't ever have to go through withdrawals again, etc., etc.
Whooah!!! Down boy!!!

First of all, Hazebo would simply zip right by your post and not offer any input at all if she didn't give a **** about the people who post on this board. You are upset because she wasn't "sympathetic"?? Did you come here looking for help or sympathy? Please!

If you truly want help, get off the pity pot - you ARE feeling sorry for yourself, "poor me, poor me, you don't know what my life is like "- well we have ALL been through some pretty awful stuff. YOU ARE NOT UNIQUE!!! - The sooner you face that fact, you will realize that there are programs that can help you IF YOU ARE WILLING TRY - the number one thing is to stop blaming people places and things and take a good look at yourself and why you are still on methadone and still invloved with drugs in general.

If this seems like "tough-love" well, this is nothing - this is simply what I was told by the people who helped me when I was ready to get clean and sober.

Getting clean and sober, by the way, is only half the battle. Staying that way is the REAL test.
Ok i might have been a bit hasty in my post.Yes i do want to be drug free,and yes..methadone sucks..because im handcuffed to a chemist?.You all forget one thing though?..people do have anxiety disorders.for which medicine is required..you see the way i look at it is a chicken and egg situation?are u people putting urself through unecessary pain for the sake of a fellowship and there beleif system??.disorders imho..require meds...im not saying valium.but maybe anti"depressants i mean these meds where made for a reason right??it would be intersting to see how many people actually are treating there secondary condition ie..alchol addictions..when there primary condition is and underlying disorder..alot of people self medicate for a reason? one this reason is fixed..why would u need meetings????thats all im saying..and no my anxiety isnt caused through trying to get high its caused by social situations..it has nothing to do with drugs!!!however yes in my past i have self medicated due to the uncomftorable symptoms assoctiated with panic attacks..It seems some of you might be suffering unecessary..because you have a belife that all meds are bad??or are they??? i am new to all this..so i can only go by what i have already learnt...and yes i do belive in one thing...you dont need meds to survive long term...only as a tool to get u to where u want to go.I can honstly say that i cant see how 4 walls and a meeting is going to cure my anxiety???.therapy and thought challenging will yes.!!!! but how is an AA or NA meeting going to do this???.12 steps??..I know a girl that comes to my clinic who was a big NAer for 5yrs...and now she is back on methadone...if NA works so well what is she doing back at the clinic?..i wonder as she was a leader in NA...I guess my theory is work what works for u...be it mmt...or NA...or therapy...as long as ur goal..is to function right????.personally i think alot of AA or NA meetings are run on fear $ lonliness...and the few i did attend way back where very depressing...hearing all those storys of getting out of it...yes i think methadone is the wrong drug for me..since i never abused herion...and once again...its not treating the symptoms i have..Maybe an antidepressant will.???.can i ask one question to you people????? why do u do it so tuff.??? why are you so hard on yourselves.???if medication works for u...use it?..for those people who do have duel problems i would try to get that sorted out first!!! AA and NA imho...seem a bit like modern day cults...who brainwash people...slogans like *It works if u work it*..& *keep coming back* give me a break...i walked out of those rooms with more anxiety than i walked in with..fact.!!! now im sorry that i ruffled some feathers..here.but i came into the room looking for other experiences on mmt...? and how they got of it...etc..the where my reasons.?. and yes im addicted to mmt..but does that mean im an addict???? cuz i use a med to try to relieve a disorder? hzebo can i ask you something...is your anxiety better now...do you function..normally work??? honestly where is ur anxiety at???.thanks freshman
[quote]Originally posted by freshman:

because you have a belife that all meds are bad??or are they???

The belief I have is not that all meds are bad. Meds are great if used as prescribed. My problem was not the meds it was how I used them and the reason behind it. I don't think you are understanding and maybe you don't want to, but that's my experience. Anything that I am explaining is about MY experience, if it doesn't apply to you then don't worry about it or reply to it. Go on as you have been. Did I ONCE in my posts say that YOU NEEDED to go to meetings. For me, everything else failed and now I am trying something different, that's it. If you are content and happy with the way you are today, then wonderful!

I can honstly say that i cant see how 4 walls and a meeting is going to cure my anxiety???.

What do you think therapy is? Where do you go to therapy sessions? Is therapy not in a room with four walls?

..I know a girl that comes to my clinic who was a big NAer for 5yrs...and now she is back on methadone...if NA works so well what is she doing back at the clinic?.
Ask her, only she knows.

.personally i think alot of AA or NA meetings are run on fear $ lonliness..
So are many peoples lives, maybe by talking about it and being OPENMINDED to suggestion can make a difference in lonely and ISOLATED people's lives.

hzebo can i ask you something...is your anxiety better now...do you function..normally work??? honestly where is ur anxiety at???.

My anxiety is better, thanks for asking. I function just fine at work and it is all because of this program and doing something different. I sit and deal with my feelings now and I use the tools I have been given and not one of those tools is "medication" I am not suffering or I don't feel I am hard on myself. Some feelings are painful, but I never heard of people dying from an overdose of feelings. sorry that I have P***** you off just because this works for me. Do you really need to be so harsh? If you don't like the 12 steps or the 12 steppers then go on about your business. As I recall you were the one that came on this board with a complaint.
I really don't like confrontation, but it seems that you do. These posts by me are not judgemental, they are NOT opinions, they are real facts and experiences that I have gone through, that's all. I have no opinion on outside issues. That would be so wrong of me to do that. If I have said anything that offends you, I apologize.

[This message has been edited by hzebo (edited 08-16-2001).]

[This message has been edited by hzebo (edited 08-16-2001).]
The meetings are about people helping people. Having a support network. We all have our own psychological issues - I have anxiety attacks regularly - and I "feel things" really hard - both good and bad. I learned to self - medicate with alchohol and drugs and it ruined my life. I choose not to take meds,and I prefer exercise and herbology to deal with my "stuff" but you may need some sort of anti-anxiety med to function in life. It certainly cannot be methadone, and I'm sorry, but your therapist by saying meetings are rubbish sounds just a tad bit close-minded and I'd find myself a new one if I were you - is this someone you have to see 'cause you are on a methadone program?

In AA I learned to "accept the things I cannot change, change the things I can" and the hope is to have the wisdom to know the difference. There is great comfort for those of us who suffer from "anxiety disordersan overused catch-all phrase, if you ask me, in knowing that at a given moment, we can only change what we can, and have to accept what we cannot. Acceptance is a hard thing to learn.

It is hard work to become clean and sober - you have to change your way of thinking. You want it, but you don't want to do the work, do you? When you are ready, you will find that we are here to help you.

You hear "keep coming back" and "it works" because eventually people that stop running their mouths and start to really LISTEN to how others stopped the nightmare of addiction, "get the message".

There is NOTHING depressing about having my life back - I am one very very grateful RECOVERING addict and it is all thanks to the help that I got from the awesome people I met in AA - if you ask anyone who knows me - they'd laugh their asses off at the thought of anyone "brainwashing" me - I have heard that pathetic excuse before - and even if it was brainwashing - I would rather be coerced into sobriety than addiction any day of the week!!!!!

Go to a meeting today. Even if you think you hate it. go tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day. Keep going and don't stop for 30 days - can you? I will bet you will start having a different perspective on life - you are definitely going to need the help of other recovering addicts to get off and stay off methadone, my friend. Peace.