Discussions that mention methadone

Addiction & Recovery board


Claudius nice to hear from u my freind hmmm you know at first i wasnt 100 percent sure you was like me as in
some one who knows the monkey who was on your back so well, well i know for sure you are from my neck of the woods so to speak although on the surface my friend it seems you are doing a whole lot better than I ...i mean i dunno but the way u spoke seemed like you been clean for yrs maybe im wrong but bro i cant seem to get through damn day..blah blah yeh im sure u know about the depression whatevr &&^&% i mean thers no point me telling u how **** i feel when i havent pumped chiva (china white) quality gear into me ...you know all about that im sure but right now whats bothering me is cant c a way out of this and if there is it sure aint gonna be easy ...so then i tell myslef whats the point..is tho only way out of this death??
anyway...
the other day my drug counsellor im in rehab i get methadone 4 my withdrawals...(via script) asks me to honestly tell him if i want to stop dong H or if i would rather stay on H if all other conditios were met i.e i could afford it or it did not present a health problem etc ..i told him no, at first he did not belive me he said 90 percent of recvering H addicts he deals with dont wnat to come off the stuff i told him i do cos i dont wnat to be junkie all my life...but easier said than done ...either im double weak cos i cant stop or im deluding myslef and i dont realy want to stop God knows which one i am ......i mean i pray to God to give me the srength to stop...hmm ok then i think yes i will become very relegious or pious that way i have to stop doing the gear cos drugs and religion dont mix but then i think hang on i cant deceive the Almighty by
wanting to becoem relgious such that i can stop being a
dope addict surely thats not true faith in God i like to think i am a true beliver in which case i have to go with the flow as in is my life predestined by Gods will can i really make a change and change my life or am i kidding myslef and ill be a dope feind till i die God willing i wont....take care claudius sorry 4 the prolonged vent and your message was geatly appreciated i aways liked your messages cos they are full of wisdom thats why i mentioned your name at the beginning. Thanks again.

Humble Man


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"So complicated it is to escape fate that you can never understand what im going through till we trade places...." - 2pac shakur