Discussions that mention methadone

Addiction & Recovery board

Just wanted to let you allknow I'm at my sis's house, been here since Fri. night. I took my last vicoden fri eve and we flushed the rest away. I've been taking the Librium and sleeping most of the weekend away, but when I'm awake, my whole body hurts and head feels like its going to explode. Don't know if i picked the right method to detox from cause when I'm awake I feel like crawling the walls. Was going to come home today, but it snowed and I live about 90 miles away so worried about trying to drive in this state of mine. Wish know that I would have tried withdrawing with methadone instead. Well see how it goes, I think I'll be heading back to bed soon. In response to the NA meetings, yes, I did have several friends there I hung out with most of the time. Even though my addiction was alcohol, I chose NA as I went through 3 weeks of inpatient rehab with alot of these people and they were like family, so I considered this my home group. I only left after the last incident in which I didn't get the support at that moment I was in a crisis, and yes, I will be finding another meeting if not going back to my home group and trying to start all over. please excuse my typo's as am having a hard time focusing on the keys.
thank you

[This message has been edited by Capri38 (edited 01-28-2002).]
Dear Capri,
Your letters sound like I could have written it. I quit drinking for three years. Ten years later I was in a car accident. The doctor prescribed Norco (a form of Vicodan). I have a very sensitive system so at first they made me sick, but they helped with the pain. Then I realized that they gave me energy and a false sense of confidence so I started using them at work. When they would start to wear off I would use cocaine or speed to get my energy back up and then to get to sleep I'd smoke pot. At that time I was a manager and responsible for a lot of people. Before I was using these drugs, I let my lack of self-confidence interfere with my decision making ability. Believe it or not, when I was at the height of my use I got a $10,000 a year raise. Upper management as well as my employees loved me. This further instilled in me that I was nothing without these drugs. (I'm a classic case of cross addiction) I was what was known as a functioning addict. Then, I finally had a nervous breakdown and was hospitalized for both substance abuse and depression. I have been clinically depressed since the age of 7 and I'm 38 now.

I just wish that my brain could naturally make me feel as euphoric as Vicodan. (Who doesn't) When I found that drug I thought I had found the answer for my depression. I had a love/hate relationship with it and would have probably not tried to get off of it if it didn't take more and more to get that same feeling. I had never been able to keep a constant supply of it so I would get anxiety attacks about where to get the next batch and was mortified that I actually reduced myself to begging a doctor for it. Also, I finally saw that it was THE most dangerous drug of all the ones I'd tried to quit. I didn't see that over time it worsened my depression.

I now do not crave any of the other drugs, but Vicodan is the beast of all beasts for me. I was using the same amount you did. I'm drug free now, but whenever I get suicidally depressed it's the first thing I think of. (Coping skills are horrible)

Sadly, I too have the same outlook on NA/AA as you do. I'm shy in group situations. (Much better in one-to-one conversations) You're the only other person I've ever heard describe it as high school. I feel the very same. Besides, I thought these people were supposed to approach newcomers. I always do if I'm in a situation where I know several people and see someone new. I'm very shy too, in the beginning.

I do attend an out patient group and the facilitator also runs a methadone clinic. She told me that it's highly dangerous to detox on you own. So, you might want to find one of those. Also, Ultram did nothing for my pain. It just gave me an upset stomach and made me irritable. It is also highly addictive. Please don't take it.

Sorry this is so long, but I never meet people with this addiction even though I know they're out there. In my group nobody's even heard of it. If you'll hang in there I will too.


Thanks for listening and hang in there.
hello everyone-- I've been reading these posts for a while now........I've been addicted to opiates for a while, used them to get off of a cocaine addiction. I travel the country running tours for rock bands, so you can imagine the access to anything I could ever want. What sucked was being in charge of all of the money..........very hard not to buy with it, and sometimes I even did. I came home and to stay off the road for a while to get away from it all. I used the money I earned and borrowed to open a business here at home so I wouldn't have to leave my 8 yearold son so often. I opened a bar/nightclub............what a business for an addict huh?? I started using lortabs to get the "pep" and europhic feeling that lasted longer than cocaine, it was hella motivation everyday. I would even mix it with speed to get more work done. I have a brother with ADD who gets a constant scrip of ritalin, and has chronic back pain from a bad auto accident. Then my mother gets a divorce from my father (no way related to any of these problems) gets a new boyfriend who happens to be a dealer. Then meet two new friends helping with some rinovations on my new building.....V.A. patients with constant scripts of methadone, lortab, oxycontin, and morphine.......soon I'm ingesting insane amounts of all of these to "work harder and faster" to get this business open. Well I guess I can say it worked for me during the process, I got the building renovated and business open in 2 1/2 months. 7 days a week 15 hours a day work work work. I think I spent around $2000 dollars a on pills in that short amount of time. Now the business is open, I wanted to take a break from all of the work and sit back and enjoy life, spend lots more time with my son, and not take so many pills...........

Well guess what......I was f*#%ing hooked. My body freaked out like nothing I'd ever felt before, not even coming off the cocaine was this bad. It took me that long to realize I had a problem. I want to be around to see my son grow up and much more, I had to do something.

I know this is getting very long, but I want to thank all of you for your support eventhough you have no idea. I've been reading your posts for a long time now the whole time weaning myself down from 8-10 tabs, an oxy and god only knows what else a day (cause I don't even remember) to only two 7.5 lortabs a day. The whole time too nervous or I think just too scared to post. Now with the support of my wonderful girlfriend and friends I am in day number 5 of self detox and feeling a little better now.

The first 3-4 days I felt like everyone has described I was "crawling out of my skin" (still do, just not as bad each day), I wanted to curl up and sleep because I didn't have the energy to do anything much less be nice to anyone but I cannot possible lie still, I feel like a fish out of water constantly flopping around with restless legs and can't even come close to falling asleep. I toook celebrex for a couple of days it's an anti inflamitory I got when I broke my finger during renovations of the building (which I got even more lortabs for) never took the anti inflamitory/pain stuff cuase it sucked in comparrison. It took the shakes away for a while, felt a little better but messed up my stomach even more. tried over the counter sleep remedies didn't even touch the heebie geebies as I call em. I read in some thread on here where someone explained how your body is releasing it's natural stimulants that the opiates suppressed and that's some of why you feel so bad. After that I cut out all caffine intake and actually worked a tiny bit.
I'll cut this off soon but want to share what has worked for me so far......I actually make myself suffer throught the day so I won't ever forget the most awful feelings I've ever felt in my entire life. I am drinking daily detox herbal tea a few time a day on an empty stomach, then I force myself to eat, eat, eat lots of fresh fruits and vegtables, the combination is cleaning out my insides pretty fast. Also during the day I try to work extra hard demanding physical labor (to an extent) to sweat out more toxins. Believe me it is definately the last freakin thing I want to do, but I forget about how crappy my body feels and I'm not so lathargic. For me, lying around the house thinking about it all day long only makes it worse for me. Thank goodnes my girlfriend is taking care of the new business for me and helping me through......As for nighttime, I am finally getting sleep thanks to xanax. I do wake once in the middle of the night when it wears off to take another dose. It seems to be the only way I can make it through the night so far.
5 days in and going strong......Thanks for sharing experiences and feelings on here it is truly helping me. I hope this novel I have typed can help someone. Good luck everyone.