Discussions that mention morphine

Addiction & Recovery board

Hello everyone-
Let me start by telling you that I have been reading this board for weeks and It has become my latest addiction! Here'e my story - I started taking vicodin and fiorinal/codeine for an injured neck in 1978 - yes! 1978! I varied medications and surprisingly did not like the oxycontin & percocet medications - then I found "Stadol" a nasal analgesic - just like getting a shot but about $100 a bottle. During my divorce I couldn't afford it anymore so my GP put me on methadone and told me to "take it as needed" - What a thing to say to an addict! I had been seeing about 5 doctors to get all the scripts I needed but had come down to just 2. I was trying to taper off and doing a very good job. I was about a month into the Methadone and started getting the chills, not knowing where I was when I was driving, etc. The gp diagnosed "panic attacks" and put me on valuium. New Years Eve I had a headache so I used the Stadol. I guess when using methadone, it builds up in your system and doesn't leave as efficiently as other opiates, I was using 140 mg of methadone a day. New Years morning I woke up normal and then all of the sudden I was crawling on the floor, blind and throwing up. My aunt called 911 and I ended up in an induced coma for 2 1/2 weeks and another week in the hospital after that. Every time they tried to get me out of the coma I was extremely combative. Even when I was in the coma I constantly battled and tried to get out of my restraints. They never found out what was wrong with me - they did every test known to man and for a majority of the time only gave me a 20% chance of living. We think the stadol was an antagonist to the methadone which put me into instant withdrawls & then some! So then I detox from methadone - 6 months totally clean. I even made it through a motorcycle accident without returning to my addiction.

Here is now: I had horrible headached and pain in my back in October, went in for an MRI (at this time I'm only on 3 fiorinal/codeine a day, my usual dose) and they decide I need emergency neck surgery. For the month that I waited they gave me EVERYTHING! My addict personality refused none.

They did the surgery and now because I used pain meds for so long I feel pain so much more than I think I would have had I not. I am taking Dilaudid - 24 mg every 4 hour, Avinza (time released morphine) 360 mg day, fiorinal/codeine - 3x daay, Ambien for sleep and now the Spinal surgeon has added Narco - it says 1 every 6 hours but I use it more frequently. I am scared - all of this medication doesn't help my pain and I am afraid I will end up back in intensive care - I am working with only one doctor so he knows everything I am taking. I don't want to take less because I hurt so much.They did a cervical fusion on 3 vertabrae and removed one. The recovery will take many months. I know I'm addicted again - It's been 2 months now of taking these medications and I can't find any relief! If anyone out there has any suggestions/opinions please let me know. I also have 3 beautiful daughters and an adorable grandson.

And as an added bonus I have the flu right now - It's tough because they had to do the incision across the front of my neck. Ouch! I know all of you are so supportive to one another. I just couldn't go one more day without writing to all of you!