Discussions that mention morphine

Addiction & Recovery board


You will have to decide whether or not you can deal with the pain without narcotics I guess. In my case--I have two large brain tumors and multiple spinal cord tumors. I had a large one removed from my brainstem to C7 ten years ago--and that is when the fun started. I spent the next 4 years trying to deal with the undescribable pain in my neck and head. I tried everything from accupuncture to faith healers. I was taking so much neurontin that I don't remember most of 1997. I finally got a doctor to prescribe tylenol 4 I didn't even know they existed. I ate them by the handful trying to get some relief--and it did--for awhile then morphine sulfte ms contin etc etc. I never seemed to get to a level where There was adequate relief. I slept for 3 years in the bathtub in hot water with a bag of ice on my head. I put my wife and young son through hell and I tried to hide just how bad I was until she sat me down and told me i was dying. I went from 190 pounds to 110--couldn't eat for days vomiting from the pain. I finall got to a pain clinic where I was evaluated by a psychiatrist, and a slew of other doctors. Then a nurse came in one day with a shot of dilaudid--It changed my life. I was up out of bed and walking around in shock--I couldn't beleive the relief. The nurse couldn't believe I was up walking--I guess the dose was so strong. To make a long story short--I now take 96mg of hydromrph contin 3 times a day and have 8mg hydromorph short acting for bad times.
I weigh 190 again, go hunting and fishing and make love to my wife and play with my son.
This may look like a plug for myself, but I am trying to say--if you are going to spend the rest of your life in pain with no improvement--what is the big deal about addiction? Doctors have been trained to think narcotics are horrible substances--and they can be--if not used for their intended purpose. I have never gotten high once from my dose and doubt you do either--you are physically and psycologically addicted to these pills but is your quality of life better than without? I see quite a few folks beating themselves up with guilt over something that maybe shouldn't be bothering them at all. My parents still think I take these for no good reason-=--and I can't understand why. They just never saw me at my worst. I look perfectly healthy outside----It bothers me that people think I take these for fun--but I cannot change that.
MY dose has remained constant for 6 years and I never have to get a refill early. MY doc keeps close tabs on my intake and so does the pharmacy--believe me.
I hope you understand what I am trying to say---if you genuinely can cope with living in pain, then by all means stay away from them. It sounds like your doctor knows your situation and maybe you should get all options from him.

Sorry for the long long post and if you were abusing these drugs I commend you for quitting. I just know how it is to suffer constantly. I only have a xhort time left to me--I would rather live it on my feet.
Good luck in whatever you choose to do.