ok, I am going to try and stay very calm when I post this, and say things nicely, but I want to tell everyone a story, My brother in law who died last Feb was a great person. i loved him very much, just as all of you that are addicted to pain meds have someone that loves you. JJ was one of a kind. I knew JJ before his accident but not very well or for very long. He was after all getting married to one of my best friends. JJ had 2 kids when he entered into his marraige to Louise at age 18. One week after they were married they were on the lake on a jet ski and Louise's aunt and uncle were with them, they got a ways ahead and stopped to wait on them. A speed boat came through and hit them, killing Louise instantly. JJ was thrown through the boat and had the have steel plates put in, his leg was almost amputated, and he would NEVER be the same. He had so many surgeries, and was on so many drugs. The worst thing is that some of his doctors would write him a perscription for something that his other doctor had already written him one for, so he was getting double perscritions. He tried to go on with life, but he had a hard time dealing. Louise was the only person that he really ever loved. He remarried, had 2 kids, plus a step son. His wife was a bad word, she wouldn't even get his pills for him or even think about taking care of him, so it didn't last long. He started abusing pills even more and beat up 4 police officers one day when he had over done it on oxycotton. Now people this man would take 40 50 60 pills at one time, he would even snort them. He did CRAZY things sometimes, now I know that the wreck and the stress of keeping all the pain from Louise's death inside was a lot to do with why he was abusing, but the point was he was doing it. Oxycotton, Zenex, Morphine, WHatever he could get. I remember JJ had been trying to get off the pills with the help of his girlfriend Amber. She was getting him the herbal pills from the Medicine Man's Corner, a local store. My boyfriend was on the phone with his mom, who had been living with him to help take care of him since his divorce. JJ had gone to take a shower and came back a minute later and said "MOM Where did these tatoo's come from? WHen did I get them?" We were all shocked. he had had the tatoo's for almost 7 months and he did not even know it. Imagine what this has done to his oldest daughter that understands everything. He has 2 girls and 3 boys that have had to see their daddy suffer, he tried to hide his pain from everyone and using the pills was his escape. He never smoked pot or anything like that, but he did take ANY pill, and did have some bad trips on shrooms a couple times, and when I say bad, I mean BAD. Now he is gone, (god bless his soul), and though it hurts, I know he is in a better place, but still, the pills are what killed him, he died from sudden cardiac arrest in his home in his bed, a good way to go, but I look back now and think, I just wish that I could have found some common ground to connect with him on, to show him that he could get past this and be normal again. His leg depressed him, and they were even thinking of amputating it close to the end. In my opinion they should have done that to being with, then he would have had less pain, and it would have been done, and he wouldn't have had to deal with the stress of thinking about loosing a limb. I guess the point I am trying to make is that, each person that is addicted, has a me in their life, Someone that loves them and cares about them enough to want to save their life. JJ was lucky, they told him he should have been dead, he took some many pills and ended up in the hospital so many times. He left 5 kids that love him so much without a dad, he left his mom, dad, stepdad, stepmom, 2 brothers, 2 sisters, and 2 sister-in-laws to miss him and think about him everyday. You will leave behind that also, and don't think that it won't hurt you because it will. Do yourself a favor, deal with the withdrawls, ask someone for help, if you truly want it, you will be willing to show them you want it and someone will help you.