thanks for the replies...
When I asked for something stronger than the vicodin she gave me, she got a little upset with me... She said - it is more - you can now use it 4 times a day instead of the 2 you were doing. Well, I said the doses I was using werent helping much unless pain was low.
She is like you didn't want to do what I suggested (which was the MSContin or Morphine longacting) the first time. And, I reminded her thats because I wanted to try the Lidoderm patch just "in case" in helped - which was futile... cuz it did squat.
What I finally told her in tears was that I wasn't trying to be difficult I just dont want to take the stronger drugs if something else would work and that I don't know about pain meds other than the nasty rumors I hear about them.
She didnt offer percs on an as needed basis as I do have pain round the clock maybe that is why she didnt consider them. AND, maybe all pain docs do start with this regime.
What she said is that I would be "committed" to her. Go every 2 weeks, plan on going through withdrawal when I cut back or go off of them.
I told her I don't have a problem with the commitment I am just having trouble accepting I NEED these drugs. I guess society has worked a number on me. I feel like I HAVE to be tough and deal with the pain.
However, now that I have surgery in 6 weeks I am praying it will help get me going in the right direction and there will be an end in sight w/o narcotics.
I always have to find a "silver lining" in the choices I make lol - and my silver lining in taking the meds now is that it will give me a chance to find the right dose before surgery rather than coming out of surgery and needing them and having to go through all the dose changes I may need. Better to find out now than after when I have surgical pain.
I think my biggest problem is mental - I feel weak and, now, dependent on a doctor to take care of me. I hate that feeling.
How do you all cope with the mental aspect of using narcotics round the clock???